Here is a paradox, tell me what you think?

Question

Everything in this world is relational. There is a given set of circumstances that we must all be able to deal with (Ex. our parents, what dna we get, what state we are born in, how we are raised, etc.). The basic state of humanity tends to be meloncholia (anomie). Usually because of those circumstances that we were born into. Life sucks! We cannot meet our basic needs without others. We feel empty if we do not have what we consider to be a meaningful existence with a purpose. However, we are born into this world alone and we die alone. Many of us feel alone even if we are around other people. So, if everything is relational and yet we feel alone then how can we begin to be able to tolerate that feeling and/or find meaning in life? Then, how do we be able to accept the fact that one day we will die? We all fear death but the fact that we are born and die is the only constant there is.

Answer 1

Life doesn't suck no matter who your parents were or what you work provides as a purpose. We can enjoy each day with no purpose at all and in the end of our lives we can let go without regret.
My grandmother died last year at 99, she had no great purpose. She was one of 11 kids growing up in the country on a small farm, got married had two kids, and was widowed her last 25 years. Her days were mostly alone at home eating and napping and walking up town to the bar to have a drink. She wasn't looking at accomplishing anything but was happy to know she could go get a BLT even if the doctor said no bacon.
She died quietly in a chair just stopped living but a couple of years before she said she was ready, she didn't fear it.

Answer 2

There are flaws in your logic, the most fatal of which is that "We all fear death". This is simply not true. And, because it is not true, your paradox model falls apart.

Other flaws? We are born into this world alone? How so?

The basic state of humanity tends to be melancholia? Hardly. Certainly there are some genuinely depressed souls walking around, but as a basic state for all I don't think so.

The only true statement? "We are born and die".

Answer 3

I feel sorry that the others have not empathized with you on this matter as they have expressed their own which is usually the same as the majority of people in the developed civilized world but there are a few with different feelings and thoughts. The truth is, not everything is fair in a particular enviornment as that enviornment has a set of values already placed within it, therefore if your values do not fit into the environment, you may feel alone even with company. It is not a matter of you choosing to feel alone but a matter of you not being able to adapt to the values of the enviornment (the masses can adapt and still feel they belong 'almost' in any enviornment). We would all rather have the choice to connect but some cannot spiritually or emotionally or physically. It maybe some illness but it is also down to natural selection from adaptation. In some environments there is no compassion as seen by people answering you. To answer your question, 'relational' experience is the integrating part of life, that shows your interactions with everything outside of you like the environment and others. But if you cannot feel you belong or adapt to their values, you can and must find your own values, that is your values of your charactersitics and skills and therefore you will find meaning in your life by fulfilling your own values instilled in you by life itself (DNA, country, friends, skills, knowledge, learning, education, hobbies etc). These are all values that you like and you must either find others that like them and try hard enough to adapt or detach yourself from others like in Buddhism and work on your values alone. Therefore the paradox that needing others to give happiness is gone when you detach yourself from them whilst finding your own values and being satsisfied by your efforts, wisdom, choices, skills and achievements. I don't know how old you are, but when you work, or when you are older, you can learn your skills then but you must start now to give yourself time to grow, develop and learn to use your skills to their best ability. Then you can show the World what you have done even with adversity (and you are not alone). Your paradox is solved by detaching yourself from others (although this is never possible totally as we have to work, socialize and even start a family), but wisdom, knowledge and good judgment will make you steady on your road to your own values. Do not be selfish, greedy or angry too much for this will block your vision so stay true to good values. You can then succeed and learn that success being alone is worth 10 times more than having help from others. As for life and death- you were born with your mother who nurtured you to this stage and how do you know you will die alone (no-one knows that unless you have already planned and forseen it). There is always choice in life. And in death there maybe rewards for you if you do well in this World as it maybe a test. You may not be alone but find you adapt better and you will be happier even with God. Not everyone is afraid to die, and as long as you face the truth, do as good as you can, and stay true to good values, and succeed in your good values, you will not fear death. People fear death because they adapt and accept the evil values in this World and fear punishment afterwards (or else they would only fear not existing but that is not fear at all) so resist evil values and choose good values. It is not always easy and you maybe alone but it is the better life. The main constants that you need to know are logic, truth and change. This will give you reality and hope. Stay with it and study hard about life and truth and you will succeed.

Answer 4

Being around people yet feeling alone is a result of choosing not to connect to others.

When we really give ourselves to human connection, its impossible to feel alone, especially when others who hate loneliness are mutually willing to give themselves to a meaningful relationship.