seeing my neighbors compared to my family's lifestyle. i knew i had to treat them with respect. i wanted to downplay our income, and fit in with them by acting less fortunate. when it was my 16th birthday party. i had to stick to a certain low sum of money to fit my presents to the other kid's presents or mine would of sticked out as too expensive. obviously i was not acting like myself, and neither were my parents, we felt ashamed but we didn't let it take our us. our neighbors were our best friends.
2007-10-16 10:54:47 · 2 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
Try this revision:
Seeing my neighbors' poverty compared to my family's comfortable lifestyle, I knew I had to treat them with respect. I tried to downplay our income to fit in with them by acting less fortunate. For my sixteenth birthday party, I had to specify a low sum of money to fit my presents to the other kids' presents, or mine would have stuck out as too expensive. Obviously I was not acting like myself, and neither were my parents. We felt awkward, but we didn't let it affect our relationship. Our neighbors were our best friends.
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Cheers,
Bruce
2007-10-16 11:02:42 · answer #1 · answered by Bruce 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To answer your question: This paragraph is not okay, it is awful and needs major revision and correction of sentence structure.
2007-10-16 18:08:33 · answer #2 · answered by Goldenrain 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋