Is 40 too old to have children?

Question

my boyfriend 2 yrs younger, never been married, doesn't have kids. however i already have 2 kids, 10 and 15 yrs old from a previous marriage. i feel like i am just getting my life back. i love my man and I would have another baby to keep him happy, but am i too old? i look quite young for my age, i exercise and take care of my self, but mentally, im not sure i could cope with another baby....help

I asked him what if I get pregnant? and he said, ohhhh I'm not ready, but, yes, someday I would like children.

Answer 1

Miss you are not too old to get pregnant at age 40. 48 is another story. My GF, now second wife, and I got pregnant 3 years ago and she was 48 at the time. I am now 53. Our daughter is simply a delight. GO FOR IT, if that is what you and your hubby wants.

Answer 2

both of you are being completely unrealistic. first of all you arent married, and second, he cant do math, thinking that at 40 you have any time left to be not ready to have a kid. and, if you have a 10 year old and a 15 year old, are you really interested in having no husband, being alone, and, having now a new child to care for. it is not a question of whether you want a kid at 40, it is, do you want to be doing homework with a teenager and teaching him or her to drive at 56? do you want to be 60 and still trying to launch a child thru college? and if he says he is not ready, you better not get pregnant, he will run. my gut says he does not want kids with you period, and, i dont know that he is that serious about you. cheryl tiegs the model had twins to keep her younger boyfriend happy when she was almost 50 and from what i have read has said it was the biggest mistake of her life. he insisted on these kids and they arent even together anymore. and she has tons of money. so, beware of tying yourself down at your age, instead of being totally free at age 50, you will have a 9 year old to raise. i have heard stories of women who have done this and it is great, but, honestly cause you asked, i have heard stories of where it ended up being very hard. is 40 too old to have children, no, my brothers wife just had twins at 40. but they are married and stable. you dont have a husband, you have a never married ( red flag) boyfriend who sounds like he does not know what he wants. that is not the same thing. it is never ever the right age to have a kid with someone like him.

Answer 3

Hiya - I was a single mum with a great life and then whoosh...I got pregnant. So, had a baby and got married at 40....yes, sometimes its a struggle...and I think I wouldn't look 140 if I could get a lie in or stop being pestered about 'monkey' and Dora the Explorer....but then I look at my daughter and I can't believe she is mine. I went back out to work when she was a few months so I guess I kept some of my own life too. And yes, sometimes I wish she was 30 instead of 3 - And to cap it all, she swears like a trooper (not my fault) and has all the grace and manners of a military veteran - so I am afraid she makes me laugh like a drain which has got me thinking that life is better upside down and inside out than the way I had initially planned it!

Answer 4

40 is not too old, there are many 40+ mothers out there with good stories. But what is worrying is the fact that he still wants to wait for a while. 45 may be too old, at 50 you might not even be able to. Sit down and discuss this with him further, see what the options are, maybe adoption further along the lines, or just the 2 kids that you already have can be more than enough.

Answer 5

nope, have a kid, don't have kid, do what you want because it isn't to late after all as a previos answerer said 40 is the new 30.
making 30 the mew 20
AND 20 the New 10.
And 10 the New )
according to that logic when you've just been born you haven't been born for 10 years yet.
Look what im saying you aren't getting younger but it isn't to late. Do what you want,you would make a fine experianced and caring who mother who was so afraid that she would be too old to look after a child that she asked a group pf people she never even met or knew anything about wther she was good enough and im telling you if you can do that then you would make the best mum EVER. It has been an honour and a privellage to contribute to something as serious as this, thank you.

Answer 6

It may not be fair to your child for you to have a baby now. Not saying it isn't possible just that you should think about it from the kids perspective. When it's ten years old you'll be 50. Will you be able to keep up? When it's going to college you'll be retiring. Will you be able to afford retirement and college tuition? At some point in your life you're going to want to turn the focus off children and onto yourself. I think that since you already have kids you shouldn't have more. You don't want to miss out on the golden years and being able to do what you want when you want. Everyone should have that at some point.

Answer 7

Why are you even stressing about this issue when:

1) It's clear you're not even sure YOU'RE ready and
2) It's OBVIOUS that he's definitely not ready

Stress about it when the time is right for you both. No, 40 is not too old but you're not getting any younger. I wouldn't have a baby at 40 just to "please my man." It doesn't even sound like he really wants kids right now anyway. So, like I said, don't worry - just take it as it comes when or if the time is right.

Answer 8

Your not too old, but you are not the ideal age to get pregnant and have a baby. As women get older they produce less eggs which reduces their chances of getting pregnant. Martha Stewart's daughter Electra is 42 and trying to get pregnant, she is spending $28,000 a month on fertility treatment (caught it on Oprah). But since you already have had 2 kids, your chances might be better. But do check with your doctor, at your age you might give birth to a child with down syndrome (chances are higher).

Answer 9

Talk to your doctor. If you've already had kids, then you may well be able to safely have another child at age 40 or above.

For a woman with no kids, the risk of birth defects jumps dramatically at age 40.

Answer 10

You might be 40 yrs old but your heart is still young. He has to understand that you guys are running out of time. If he is willing to do his part, go ahead have another baby. You guys have to be on the same page.