My daughter is 13 and she has been acting inappropriately at school. For eg. Recently, my daughter came home and told me that this boy in school was bothering her and saying things like, 'I'd like a piece of that' (referring to my herself). My wife (not my daughters real mom) went up to the school to report what this kid was saying and she finds out that my daughter (in the lunchroom) went down on her knees to only 'mimic' (I hope) a blowj*b. This made us both embarrased - of course. Does anyone have any advice on how I should deal with this? I love her dearly and it sickens me to hear this type of stuff about her.
2007-10-16 09:38:45 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
By the way - this is the 2nd such incident that she has avoided telling us about - until we find out on our own. Both times because she 'reports' to us what the other kid involved is saying to her.
2007-10-16 09:40:40 · update #1
Talk to her about the situation. Let her know that it sickens you, but be specific how so she doesn't get the wrong idea. Also, let her know how guys actually look down on such actions. They'll think that is who she really is, when in reality she's probably just trying to make people laugh.
Also, let her know that it's affecting your trust. I mean, if she was my daughter and I had to find out all of this information in this manner without her telling me about it I would not believe a word she says. I'd always second guess her and if she wants to do 'grown-up' things whether hang out with friends past a certain time every now and then, then she'd have to earn your trust for such a thing.
2007-10-16 09:57:09 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her. it might also help to get her involved in some hobby like dance or Martial arts or something so that she doesn't just think of boys all the time. keep her busy doing productive things. she might refuse to do anything other than friend at first but if you just make her at least try she'll probably find something she likes enough and she will enjoy and work hard at that so then boys and friend might not be the ONLY thing in her mind.
PS. if you are ever worried about her sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night or what ever, I would suggest getting a security system for your home. I got one not to long ago and it is the best thing. if someone opes the door it says "door open" or window etc.. you can also call in and listen in to your house if you are away so you know if someone is in there or if you just want to check on your kids. it is a 2 way voice. it's way way cool, I would recommend it.
check it out or email me and I'll give you a # that you can call to get more info.
www.skyelist.com
good luck !!
2007-10-16 09:56:43 · answer #2 · answered by lisvad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you alert the school officials that if she so much as pops her gum in class, you want to know about it. Punish her EVERY time.
That isn't just inappropriate behavior for a 13 yo, it's sickening. She shouldn't even know about that kind of stuff. And what if she's practicing it? She needs a visit to the dr. to make sure she's not harboring any STDs in her mouth from a previous encounter.
Then she needs a visit to a mental health professional who can determine where this type of behavior is coming from--maybe she has a disorder that can be treated with meds.
I don't know how you discipline your daughter, or even if where you live it's legal to paddle her. But paddle I would.
If not paddling, I'd shut down every single privilege she has, including attending regular school. I'd have her sent to the special school where behavior problem kids have to go. It's boring and demeaning and just what she needs.
No cell phone, no tv, no radio, no computer and no leaving the house.
If that doesn't work, find a boot camp for young offenders. The police will know. My son attended one for every weekend for a month. They moved dirt around, they exercised, they sweated, and they sat and listened to motivational speakers in an unair-conditioned setting. Did not hurt my son one bit to have a big ex-cop screaming in his face that he better listen to his mom and dad and did he think he was gonna get a good job making those kinds of grades, etc.
I don't know which of these suggestions might fit your daughter and your family, but I hope some of them are helpful. If nothing else, I think you've learned the lesson of many, many parents--your teenagers are liars. Don't believe anything they say unless they can prove it. And NEVER get angry on their behalf just from something they told you. Talk to the teacher before you embarrass yourself with unfounded accusations.
TX Mom
Mine are 17, 21
2007-10-16 10:39:33 · answer #3 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, I have to say a fish stinks here! I do not think it is appropriate behavior. The father's reaction to his daughter doing such a thing is really off! The father should have put her straight right away! What is up with him just thinking it was funny? I find no humor in this kind of wacko incest type behavior at all! Your friend needs hidden cameras to find out the real truth! I would keep my mouth shut and my eyes open! This girl is a victim if anything is going on. God only knows how long it has been going on! The father is the adult here and is exploiting his child! Disgusting!
2016-05-22 23:41:24 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to sit her down and have a very long talk with her. make her understand that things like that are made for grown people, not lil gurls. you dont want her to start actually doing those things. inform her about the consequences. she needs ot know before its too late and she does someting stupid. and you get news that ur 13 yr old daughter is pregnant.
2007-10-16 10:28:38 · answer #5 · answered by Cole.Baby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time to set her straight on a few things, as uncomfortable as it'll be for you. She's obviously been trying to figure this stuff out on her own, and been getting ROTTEN info from somewhere.
http://www.scarleteen.com/ has good information, presented well. Either turn her loose on it, or use it as a checklist to make sure you don't miss anything important.
Just do your best, answer ALL her questions 100% honestly.
2007-10-16 11:00:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to do something now, before she is allowed to date or drive.
I suggest having her talk to a counselor / physiologist to see why she feels to need to act out so inappropriately. There could be a number of reasons that she is doing this, and by talking to an adult who is going to be nonjudgmental, she may be able to work out those issues before they become to much for you as a family to handle.
There are other things that you need to start worrying about now, like unprotected Sex, pregnancy, drugs & alcohol, dropping out of school all before she gets to that point.
2007-10-16 10:12:41 · answer #7 · answered by Lorie N 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i HATE kids like this at my school
no offense
i'm saying this as an example of how it will ruin her reputation if you don't give a long talk
be very straight up, and dont censor anything
she doesn't need to b acting like some kinda sl.ut at school, that's disgusting
i kno ppl like her and i wish their parents would do something about it
thanks for trying to help her out
2007-10-16 11:08:55 · answer #8 · answered by . 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should sit her down and talk. Explain to her that she is making a bad reputation for herself. The girls will talk badly about the way she portrays herself and the boys will think shes "easy". Also, make sure you tell her what your expectations are of her and make it clear what is and is not allowed to do. Hopefully this will settle her down.
2007-10-16 09:44:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a very serious conversation with her and if any incident like this happens again you will have to take serious action...
Make sure she is hanging out with the right people.
Good luck
2007-10-16 10:14:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋