Is healthy to tell your spouse everything to point were no one trusts you to keep anything a secret anymore?

Question

Specifically when the secret isn't anything that would effect your relationship with your spouse but only effects your friend.

Isn't it breaking your promise, if your best friend told you a secret, and you promised not to tell anyone about it, but then you told your husband about it?

Answer 1

This is debatable. I believe that married couples should not keep secrets unless it's the both of them the secret is being told to or if your friend say it's ok to tell. This is because I believe married couple should tell each other everything they feel, think and know. Though there are a few RARE cases that through wisdom are ok not to tell. Like for example, if your husband has a SERIOUS heart problem and your doctor tells you not to tell him something to help protect his heart from panicking and therefore failing. It would actually be quite silly to tell that to your husband.

Your secrets of your past, that you already accepted, I believe if you want to not lie. Ask your friend if you can tell your spouse. Otherwise, though a lot of people do this, it is a lie and the person is not a loyal friend and shouldn't had been trusted.

Answer 2

There are often things which happen in your life which need to be kept in total secrecy.
If you want to keep them that way tell no one.
If a friend tries to tell you something in confidence it is incumbent on you to let them know that you are not worthy of their trust OR keep quiet.
Unless there is something which specifically affects your spouse keep your mouth shut. All else is gossip. You told your husband why?
Did you fall victim to being a gossip?

Answer 3

I don't go out of my way to spill every bit of dirt about friends, but I don't hide anything from him or refuse to tell him. My husband had better not share it outside our house.

I have one secret about an old friend that I have never told him and have refused to do so. It was a promise I made to her years before I met him and I have never told a soul, and I never will. He knows I have it, and it means nothing to my relationship, but it DOES mean something to hers.

And no it's not that she cheated.

Answer 4

It is breaking a promise if you told your friend you'd not tell anyone.

You lied. You can't blame them for not trusting you. It's only unhealthy if you want to have friends that feel they can trust you to keep your word.

Answer 5

you can keep the confidences of a friend - there's a big difference between that and keeping a secret from your husband

why would my husband want to know any of that stuff?

Answer 6

As a person who used to have trouble keeping secrets, I can't express enough to you that it is important to not tell people anything. You never know what is going to cause trouble. It could be something you would never think would hurt anybody.

My advice is to be silent and observant.

Answer 7

Whenever a friends tells me something they do not want repeated, I tell them before that I will probably tell my fiance. 90% of the time, they are ok with that. If they're not, then I ask them not to tell me. I don't keep anything from him.

Answer 8

If no one trust you is it because your husband it telling people about it? If he is then he is untrustworthy and you should stop. I tell my husband almost everything but he will repeat it to no one. I guess that it is breaking your promise. I tell mine anyway though.

Answer 9

i tell my husband there are certain things i wont talk to him about, because 1: they dont concern him 2: they wont interest him 3; a VERY close friend values my opinion and loyalty.

Answer 10

I tell my husband everything.