I mean, like you get married, but then you found out something super important that you overlooked that gives you problems down the road?
Or if you're totally happy, what do you attribute the happiness to? How do you work everything out so everything runs smoothly?
2007-10-16 08:37:03 · 15 answers · asked by jade 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would really appreciate if the answer gives details on how you handle things... examples please! thanks.
2007-10-16 08:46:02 · update #1
I wished I would have considered the fact that his mother has a prescription drug problem and that we would have to take her in and take care of her. We are doing that now :>(
2007-10-16 08:44:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would have listened to my mother more! She told me clearly that the first year of marriage was tough. And sometimes even the second year! She also said that you have to get over some monster hurdles to make the thing work. Sometimes even things you find offensive. I found out my husband is quite racist and this never came out during courtship (of over a year). I just have to learn to live with his views even though I can't share them. We are now very happy but it hasn't been an easy first few years and I have had to grow up more than I ever wanted - stupid stuff like not huffing when I have hurt feelings and forgetting some of the awful things that are said in the heat of a row. Torture! No marriage will ever run smooth - I suspect if it does it means one person isn't really voicing their opinions or having their say. Its a rollercoaster - far more fun and interesting than 'smooth'!!!
2007-10-16 08:57:45 · answer #2 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Had a choice between the NFL star and the hard working blue collar man. Chose the blue collar man and now I am having doubts because of financial reasons. Only time will tell if I made the right desicion. Had to chose between . happines and financial gain. I keep my head focused as best as possible and am thankful for my blessing. I love my hubby and always will. So if it was a god des or not would depend on the type of person that I am, which is why I married who I am with now. He did a better job of making me happy!
2007-10-16 09:00:45 · answer #3 · answered by mrsclh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a million) Be 25 years or older. we modify plenty till now we turn 25. in case you marry youthful than the two one in all you being over 25, you have a stable danger of divorce because you won't have the comparable objectives in life. 2) Get an preparation and occupation. do no longer think of two can stay as value effectively as one. you could't stay to tell the story love. 3) do no longer marry all and sundry whose family contributors does not such as you or you do in comparison to their family contributors. it could paintings for awhile yet finally, your companion will choose his family contributors over you....or the opposite. 4) shop some money so which you don't get married and have not any thought the place you will stay, common common techniques to pay any expenditures, and so on. It starts off off the marriage rocky. 5) confer with a minimum of one yet another and locate out objectives. you could locate that he does not prefer any little ones (and he potential it) and you prefer 5 little ones. while you're no longer in contract which will lead to divorce. comparable for different issues. you could desire to have an identical opinion on important issues. How could you sense while you're working stressful basically to verify that he offered a Corvette at the same time as you have been at paintings? Or he's working stressful and you ran down and offered a holiday to France? confer with a minimum of one yet another. 6) Being which you're asking now, i could say you would be nice. stable luck.
2016-10-09 08:48:19 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you first fall in love with that person your head is in the clouds and at first you think there flaws are adorabe. When you first get married or move in with your partner you still think there flaws are cute but then they tend to get irritating. You start to see more and more of those flaws. We all are not perfect you probably have flaws he doesn't like as well. If he is not abusive in any way and he loves you then I suggest you let those little things go. You said it was a super important thing and you either need to work it out or move on.
2007-10-16 08:44:07 · answer #5 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We had considered everything we needed before deciding to get married. I don't exactly know what makes our relationship harmonious; we're just very compatible in many respects, and are willing to overlook and accept the minor things that pop up here and there. My motto is "pick your battles"; every single detail can't be perfect, the overall picture is more important.
2007-10-16 08:42:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
TOTALLY UNHAPPY :(
I wish that a big stressful situation came up before we got married, I would have learned that my husband does not handle stress well at all. I would have learned what kind of reactions he has to certain things.
Example: I'm not all that great with money...... he found out and automatically he turned from being husband like, to father like and trying to punish me.
Also, I wish that I knew that he is not big on extended family. I come from a huge family, and now that I'm married, I wasn't 'allowed' to spend last Thanksgiving or Christmas with them........which I have done every years since I was born......it has really made me start to resent him.
2007-10-16 08:54:31 · answer #7 · answered by klb620 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We're totally happy now, but has been some rough roads between then and now. Our issues were his kids when they were younger. I thought I could go in, and be super-mom and handle 2 boys, plus my own. WRONG. I'd think long and hard if I were ever to the point of dating again, if the guy had kids. May sound shallow, but its the truth...
2007-10-16 08:43:29 · answer #8 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only issue I wish I would've gotten a greater resolution to before we married is in the bedroom. I wish I could've gotten a better read on how sexual she would become post nuptuals. Not that I would've done anything different, but at least then I could've explored it more and gotten a clearer read on how satisfied I would be with her in that area. Before anyone calls me a pig....sex is an important factor in all relationships. Not that it has to be overly sexualize, but that the two people need to at least be on the same page.
2007-10-16 08:44:48 · answer #9 · answered by No one 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are 99% happy. We have some issues but they are small.
Communication is numero uno. Problem is it takes years to become truly open. You might think you have completely open communication and trust - but be honest. If your husband caught you off guard and asked if you had a sexual fantasy about anyone else recently? Would you tell the truth? Would you be afraid to? Would he be afraid to even ask?
That goes for many things not just sex. You must be honest, trusting, and trustworthy. And put your marriage FIRST.
2007-10-16 08:44:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We are both happy and have had a lot to overcome. I think a lot of people just into marriage thinking it will not be work it will be easy and it is one of the biggest and hardest jobs you will have. We love each other have great communication and have learned no one is perfect someone will always do things that bug you but you learn to love a person for who they are and not try ot change them
2007-10-16 08:46:23 · answer #11 · answered by Kristi S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋