We started ttc about 6 months ago. We have sex all the time, but when its the crusial "baby making" sex he says he is tired??? He says that he hates the fertal time because he feels like Im using him. How do I change this?? Im guilty of not taking his feelings into consideration, because i told him to get over it. I just cant figure out if he wants a baby...and he does, then why the do sex??? Please help.
2007-10-16 08:08:18 · 14 answers · asked by Truth Hurts 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
Im going through the same thing I guess we have to be supportive to each other. My husband is the same way like now is my ovulation time so I have to hunt him down to have sex, when I thought men go crazy to do this. Good luck!!! YOur not alone.
2007-10-16 08:12:53 · answer #1 · answered by hershey 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My first thought was "Get Out of Town!" No, I mean literally, get out of town. He's feeling the pressure of not conceiving and it's bringing him down. Go have some sex and don't even talk about babies. If you have to, seduce him, give him a nice massage. I know lots of babies that were conceived when the parents had stopped thinking about making one. (My daughter is included on that list---I knew there was a possibility, but I didn't tell my husband at all!)
I know it's hard to put yourself in his shoes, but you have to take the pressure off. Make him think that the sex was his idea! By the way, I wouldn't judge his desire to have a baby based on his not liking the "baby making" sex. I imagine it would be hard to stay hard if you are picturing a crying baby and everything that comes with it. Remember his life will be turned upside down, too. It will all be worth it, but it's hard to know that until you are in the middle of it!
2007-10-16 10:06:25 · answer #2 · answered by Jenn 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Men too have days when they are not in the mood. My husband wants a child but I know ovulation time can sure feel like a chore for him. Just try and be understanding and keep his feelings in mind. Make sure this isn't the only time you two have sex or, in his mind, it may seem as if you are using him. Also, talk about his feelings on having children. He may still want them but is getting worn out from the trying.
Baby dust!
2007-10-16 08:14:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Stop having it all of the time! My God, the poor man is probably tired. You have to understand that there is a difference between hot, steamy sex and baby making sex. What sounds more appealing to you? Stop making such an issue out of it and putting a label on it. Let it happen when it is supposed to. Talk about a turn off for the guy!!
2016-04-09 07:56:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is normal. It is very stressful for a man to know the sex isn't about intimacy just baby making. Relax a little, and try not to let ttc consume you and sex w/ your husband. The stress on both of you could affect weather or not you will in fact become pregnant.
2007-10-16 08:13:17 · answer #5 · answered by #3ontheway! 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he may not be ready to be a father, and he does not want to come right out and say it. Talk it over and see what the real reason is, maybe he is just a little scarred which would be normal. I would try to get on the same page so you both can go through it together and support each other you may need it.
2007-10-16 14:03:11 · answer #6 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't have sex all the time if he is getting tired, save the baby making sex for the days you are ovulating. Good luck and baby dust to you!
2007-10-16 08:47:12 · answer #7 · answered by T J 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is probably feeling pressure to perform and that might make him nervous. I know it would make me nervous if I HAD to orgasm any given time. Try to lighten up the mood or don't tell him whether you are fertile or not. Just get out the massage oil and try to relax and focus on him, not making babies.
Hope that helps.
2007-10-16 08:22:06 · answer #8 · answered by ldhenrard 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is having second thoughts about becoming a father. I would get to the bottom of this before I had a child with him. Talk to him. Maybe he's afraid of the responsibility and the way his life will change. This is normal, and if this is the case, he needs your encouragement and support.
2007-10-16 08:11:15 · answer #9 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I've made an effort not to walk up to my husband and say "Alright, it's baby making time!!" even though he knows that's my motive sometimes. I've badgered him in the past about just blurting out something like "Wanna do it??" because I think it's so unromantic. I try to find ways to seduce him, just like I like him to seduce me when he's in the mood.
2007-10-16 08:35:52 · answer #10 · answered by WBMMort 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋