it's best NOT to scream?
The bear MAY detect the FEAR in your voice.
(Note: for those who are not fond of or do not understand the absurd, THIS is intended as humor. Feel free to move on to the next question.)
2007-10-16 07:40:21 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
LOL... I'll have to remember that when the bear mauls me tonite...
2007-10-17 02:46:29 · answer #1 · answered by Lady M 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wire Reports: May 15 05:12 PM US/Eastern
AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) - Bears killed and ate a monkey in a Dutch zoo in front of horrified visitors, witnesses and the zoo said Monday. In the incident Sunday at the Beekse Bergen Safari Park, several Sloth bears chased the Barbary macaque into an electric fence, where it was stunned.
It recovered and fled onto a wooden structure, where one bear pursued and mauled it to death.
The park confirmed the killing in a statement, saying: "In an area where Sloth bears, great apes and Barbary macaques have coexisted peacefully for a long time, the harmony was temporarily disturbed during opening hours on Sunday."
"Of course the habitats here in the safari park are arranged in such a way that one animal almost never kills another, but they are and remain wild animals," it said.
Witness Marco Berelds posted a detailed report on the incident, including photos, on a Dutch Web site. He said one Sloth bear tried unsuccessfully to shake the monkey loose after it took refuge on the structure, built of crossing horizontal and vertical poles.
Ignoring attempts by keepers to distract it, the bear climbed onto a horizontal pole, and, standing stretched on two legs, "used its sharp canines to pull the macaque, which was shrieking and resisting, from its perch."
The bear then brought the animal to a concrete den, where three bears ate it.
The zoo said it "usually wasn't possible" for keepers to intervene when an animal killed another.
The park plans now to move the Barbary macaques—which are large monkeys but often inaccurately called "Barbary Apes"—to another part of the park, it said.
http://img.breitbart.com/images/2006/5/15/D8HKETVO0/D8HKETVO0.jpg
2007-10-16 18:56:19 · answer #2 · answered by wavryder ® 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't have caught it had you not mentioned that you were intending to be absurd, but that being said, it's pretty darn funny... in a lingering sort of way.
Another fun fact for you: snakes have no arms, that's why they don't wear vests.
2007-10-16 14:50:56 · answer #3 · answered by Mickey Mouse Spears 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
MAY detect the fear in your voice?
Those Godless Killing Machines are SURE to!!
(Just ask Stephen Colbert!!)
2007-10-16 14:55:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I would be too busy confessing all my sins to think of screaming!! Do you think if I just gave him a big old bear hug he would love with me and decide not to maul me?? It won't hurt to try I guess!! Thanks for the humor and the laugh, always welcome both!!
2007-10-16 16:41:21 · answer #5 · answered by Ginny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's correct. A scream in such a situation is wasted energy. Kick him in the nuts instead!
2007-10-16 15:15:06 · answer #6 · answered by Ian M 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Poor bear, I'll just squeeze out a silent deadly fart.
2007-10-16 14:50:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Grab him by the feet, pull him down to the ground and run like hell....worked on my husband!
2007-10-16 15:40:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the bear would be correct in his detection!
2007-10-16 14:46:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋