whats the point of getting married these days? when i look at the statistics on divorce, basically?

Question

its more likely then not going to fail and the consequences of a failed marriage especially for the man if there are children involved are enormous. the mother can go off get remarried and have all the support from the new husband plus make her own money of course and the ole ex husband still has to shell out a thousand bucks a month for a child he sees rarely and who is usually brainwashed to favor the mother. it seems like it is advantageous for a woman to get married have kids, divorce and then get married to someone new , she will have extra money for the next 18 years coming from the ex. why on earth would a guy want to get married these days with things being the way they are.
I'm sure this question will offend some people but it really shouldn't, if you open your mind and think rationally rather then just jump to the defense of women ,you will see that im speaking the truth as screwed up as it is,it shouldn't be beneficial for a woman to divorce her husband.

for those of you who have a short attention span the basic question is ...whats the point of getting married when you know it will probably end in divorce. ......all the rest was just my ranting feel free to ignore.

and P.S. no i am not some guy who is bitter towards women because he cant keep one or something, i have a wonderful girlfriend who i have been with for years and who happens to agree with me on this. we may even get married and have kids one day but the concept is almost frightening to me because of what i see happening to so many people.

Answer 1

Well this opinion is coming from a woman's point of view so I hope that's okay with you.
I can completely understand you saying it would be advantageous for the woman to get married, pregnant, divorced, and remarried. The way you put it, it WOULD. However...I am a woman that would never even consider doing that, for any reason. I mean, if I got married and hubby and I TRULY just weren't right for each other, then yes, I'd get a divorce. However, again as a woman, I think trust is such an essential part of a relationship that if you can't trust a person to stay with you and all that, you shouldn't be getting married in the first place. I don't want to sound fairy-tale cliche here, but it really should be all about love. That's why marriage was created - for love. Not money.
Unfortunately, there are still some women that will abuse that. But not all of them.
So you're right - it is more advantageous for a woman to get married than for a man to, discounting the love portion. Financially, it's true.
But you really shouldn't marry just for that. (Not saying no one does, I know plenty of people do, but you SHOULDN'T.)

Answer 2

Meet a woman that the tables were turned on! I did not benefit during a divorce. I got custody of our two children and he got off scott free with no bills and no child support ordered.

I have to admit that I was leery of getting married again. But not turned completely away like you.

Beneficial? Not financially for me.

What was the point in getting married? At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do. Relationships change and unfortunately, my ex and I didn't change with it and it turned ugly.

I never went into a marriage thinking about a divorce. It was more a display of how serious I was to stay with that man.

Until people stop having kids, someone is going to have to pay for them. Better it be one of the biological parents than a total stranger that is ordered to give up their hard earned cash in tax hikes to support all the little......

Your little scenario only happens when children are involved. (What do having kids have to do with marriage nowadays?) BTW how much do you think it costs to support a child?

I would ask, why don't more men get snipped so they aren't making so many babies that they don't want to support whether they get married or not?

Answer 3

Short attention span?? LOL
My advice to you....please, please dont get married unless you are absolutely sure she's the one. I mean absolutely sure!!! And the problems you listed goes both ways. There are some cruel and evil ex-husbands out there that deserve a divorce...like mine. And HE was the one that brainwashed my daughter to dislike me and me new husband. And.....it is the father's responsibility to pay child support whether the ex wife wants the money or not is not the issue. Whether it is an advantage for the wife or not. The kids must have support from both parents. That is the real issue.

I wasen't looking for benefits when I divorced my ex. I just wanted to get away from him!! You know what? He took both cars, and all the furniture when we split. And he went without paying child support for 3 years after he was ordered to. So its not always the wife that gets everything. I had to start all over again...and you know what...I didn't care. My biggest blessing was getting away from that pathetic low-life, sorry excuse for a man! =) I'm getting child support now but I had to fight for it. And it's only $340 a month for two kids. He got away with that too. Let me just say that marriage is drama!!

Amen Angela!

Answer 4

If you just live with a woman, you are still liable for child support if you beget any kids. You will have to file for divorce anyway because after living together as a couple for "X-amount of time" makes you common-law married in most states.

You can be saddled with the debts of your partner either way. In the event of a catastrophe, the common-law spouse does not have the ability to collect life insurance, and if the partner is on life support, doesn't have the ability to pull the plug... yet they can hold you responsible for all the hospital bills. So there you have all the risks and none of the benefits.

The point of marriage is to formally form a family unit, with all the paperwork involved that gives the benefits and rights of marriage. This is a central part of societal structure. Divorces are relatively cheap and provide for an official severance of the relationship on the records.

Answer 5

If you get married with that in the back of your mind I guarantee that your marriage will fail.

To me the best way to try and ensure a long and healthy marriage is to enter it with the idea that it is "till death do us part". It should not be in your mind that if it does not work out you have the option of divorce.

If you don't believe there is any out then you are forced to work out your problems instead of walking away from them.

Okay so you think I sound naive. Well you can turn your situation around the other way. Why not look for a divorced woman with children, marry her and help raise her children, get the feeling of fatherhood while some other poor soul is paying for their support?

Answer 6

Your marriage will only last as long as you allow it...The point of getting married is to be with the one you love and be happy. The marriage depends on the work put into it..and judging but what you have written you don't question marriage but the system and how it works. I somewhat agree with what you say about how a man gets screwed in the process, but I am not going to got there I would be on here all day.

PS you can't trust statistics...that is just an average

Answer 7

If you don't want to marry, then don't. People marry in order to start a new family unit. It's a lie that women have all of the control, OR drain "you" for all your money if you divorce. Even IF half marriages end in divorce, that means that half don't (and it's not quite half that do). Married men live longer than single men; single women live longer than married women -- it's women who get the lesser deal. Yes, if you want sex, and not a relationship, or to start a family, then you shouldn't marry. The fact that YOU don't have human feelings shouldn't blind you to the fact that most people DO.

Answer 8

I think it is very intelligent of you to be concerned about marriage, having children etc.., Used to, it was just expected that people would work, get married and have kids but these days it isn't considered as necessary.
I think if more people were worried about it and didn't commit until they were really ready and mature, there would be less divorce.
When you fall in love and are ready to have a family, if ever, then you will know the big deal. Until then be careful. Remember you don't have to be married to have a child to support for the next 18+ years.

Answer 9

I read a book called the 7 principles of making marriage work. In it the author says that 67% of marriages fail in a 40 year period. That about half fail within 7 years, and the stats are 10% higher for a second marriage.

Rough stats indeed.

Answer 10

A good way to waste thousands of dollars on a wedding. Then have a woman quit, because everything isn't going according to her imagination. Next thing you know you are destitute while she dates half the state with your money in her hands.
If you want to be happy in a marriage, sit outside of a convent and wait for a Nun to defect. She is a real woman, not man's competitor, looking for God's chosen purpose for humanity.