17 yr. old son smokes pot daily & wants to move in with girlfriends family - what do I do???

Question

I've already threatened to cut him off financially but that doesn't seem to bother him - he says you only give me 20 a week for lunch anyway! Which by the way we found out he's spending on dope. So, when we told him we weren't giving him cash anymore we were going to give him gift cards to subway or another restaurant in town for lunch (he's still in high school) he absolutely LOST IT!

To the J*mo JERK who responded about my posting being FAKE: ok - for the record - he's not technically 17 until tomorrow but so I flubbed 24 hours - no - I WAS NOT having an affair - just thought about it - and yes, I also have 2 small children - how's that for stress - you are a real jerk - if you can't say something nice - why bother!

Answer 1

My nephew is a pot head as well, they do have state programs though that can get him into a boot camp. Call the local congressmans office, ask for options there or the police department. It may not hurt to get on friendly terms with the local police at this point anyway. Sometimes they will just have to learn the hard way though, and you as a parent will get judged by people who don't know ****, so prepare! but as long as you do all you CAN do, that is ALL you can do. Just know that this could be a stage, but it most likely won't last forever. Just whatever you do, don't give up on him. Deep down. he still is a kid, who is growing up to be a man. And don;t be his best friend either. He only has one mama and that is you. Good luck, you'll be in my prayers. And just in case your wondering, yes, you are a good mom. Don't let anyone tell you different. Your looking for help....and that shows you care.

Answer 2

The doctor took an X-ray? Why would he do that? I can't imagine a doctor taking an X-ray of an adolescent girl's belly, on the outside chance that she might be pregnant, which could potentially harm the fetus. Or did you mean an ultrasound? Even so.... What advice would you like? You raised your kids to think premarital sex was OK, and a 12 year old's brain isn't capable of making rational decisions or evaluating consequences. You don't argue with a 12 year old anyway. You need some professional family counseling to help you figure out who's in charge.

Answer 3

Have you considered forcibly putting him in rehab. You only have that right until he turns 18. Also, when you know he's smoking pot, you can call the cops. I know you don't want your boy to be in trouble, but you have to do something. There are some people, and I'm one of them who thinks marijuanna should be legal, but just like alcohol, there are some people who can't deal with it. He has a problem which may be ADHD that has not been diagnosed. Some people self medicate with marijuanna when they don't get the proper treatment.

You have to save him. It is your responsibility to do whatever you can to help him. Take his vehicle and drive him to school daily. Pick him up as soon as the bell rings. Take the door off his bedroom. DO NOT ALLOW HIM TO GO ANYWHERE. If he leaves the house without permission, call teh police.

Answer 4

As tragic as it sounds, there isn't anything you're going to do that will stop him, other than getting the authorities involved. I'm not telling you to rat him out or anything but I mean that you can't say anything to him to change his mind. He already told you that he doesn't care.
Just remember this when he comes to you needing something and let it be there to help you temper your decision to help him or not.

Cut him off and let him do his thing. He'll come back when he needs and tell you all kinds of lies and make all kinds of promises to get what he needs.

Good luck and I know it hurts.

Oh yeah, for the rest of you America

DON'T DO DRUGS

and this is why

they tear families apart

Smedric the TC gave you a pretty good plan but I want you to know that he's going to find some dope one way or the other.

that is the truth

Answer 5

I dont know all all this talk is about he cant leave home at 17.what state are you in? I left home 10 days before i turned 17 and my mother let me,because she knew once i was 17 there was nothing that could be done. of course thatwas years ago and no drugs were involveed, just me being preggers.

i really dont believe pot is any more dangerous than liquor, and i am saying this as a nurse who has worked at a neurotrauma/head injury unit for nearly 7 years.drinking is much more dangerous.
you need to get him to a therapist or pyscharitist who can work with him on why he feels like he needs to smoke, what is the underlyiing issue?? perhaps thay can even give medication to help w/ stopping smoking.
donot let him move out or he is going to slide downhill fast. i have seen this before and it is not pretty. talk to the gf's parents,make sure they refuse to let him move in.
i dont know what else i can say except GOOD LUCK

Answer 6

Yeh, let em move out. He'll then see how hard it is to survive on his own. I doubt his gf's family will support him and his habit. He needs to wake up. My brother was the same, fried every day. All he did was... nothing! Now he's off the junk (smokes once in a while, which is okay, no different than having a drink now and then) and he's got a very good paying job, a fiance with a kid and another kid on the way. Big change for the good.

Answer 7

Honestly by the way it sounds, he would just sell the gift card for money to buy pot anyways so that wouldn't work. It sounds to me like you are just going to have to let him make a choice. You MUST cut him off financially. Otherwise you are helping his habit. He is old enough to work so if he wants weed that bad he can work to have money to pay for it. We all love our children dearly and don't want them to hate us but I think you should tell him that as long as he smokes weed, he can't live in your house. Once he gets a taste of the real world I am sure that he would come around and agree to live by your rules. There are over the counter drug tests you can buy to ensure that he keeps up his end of the deal.

Answer 8

Don't give him any money, sent him to lunch with a brown bag.
He cannot legally leave home at 17, I would honestly call his girlfriends parents explain to them that he that he is using marijuana and that he has expressed an interest him living with them. Talk to them as to why it is out of the question.

Do cut him off financially. Ground him. Call the cops if he insists upon bringing an illegal drug into your home. The only reason he should be leaving the house is school. Be firm, be fair and be a parent. At 17 he has his own Friends and I assure you he will listen to them more, however as a parent you have no choice but to set limitations to set him on good path for the rest of his life.

Answer 9

Kindly remind him that not only do you give him $20 a week...but you also pay for his breakfast, dinner, housing, utilities, school suppllies, cell phone, internet, car, gas, clothes...anything else you pay for.

And by cutting him off take away anything you paid for. Leave him with the bare essentials. Enough clothes for the week, if he is lucky and throw everything else away.

Any pictures of anything he has on his walls throw away. Leave nothing in his room put a mattress on the floor with one blanket and one pillow.

Start packing his lunch for school, he can eat it or starve. Don't even give him the gift cards because he can always sell them and get cash and buy the drugs.

Otherwise, just let him go...I think at this point it may be too late.

Answer 10

I don't mean to sound rude or disrespectful, but you can't try and teach a 17 year old right from wrong. That has to be done starting from when he is 17 MONTHS! Pray for him and let him go. You can still advise him just in case he does listen, but he has to make the decision for himself that he is being stupid.
I wouldn't let him move in with the girlfriend though. She'll end up pregnant and that's a whole other problem you don't want! If her parents are ignorant enough to let their teenage daughter's boyfriend move in, they are probably not going to care if they are having sex.