Women - How are you affected by unrealistic expectations of how you should look and how do you overcome it?

Question

Where do these expectations come from? TV? Magazines? Men? Music videos? Your friends? Your family? How can you (without changing anything about your appearance) still feel good about yourself? How can we encourage our friends who may be feeling a little bit "less than par" because they don't look the way others have told them they should?

Answer 1

i just think f***k it i am who i am, i feel most beautiful without make up on and when my hair is curly and free

Answer 2

Pressure to look a certain way is EVERYWHERE, every day around us, as women, always. Whether you fit a pegged expectation or feel like your faults are worse than anyone else's, we let the pressure sit over us. It has been brought there since the beginning of time by men. I don't know where these stemmed from, but the ideal woman, in 2007, has a small nose, clear skin, fit body, and big boobs. Obviously there are more. I may have just described 70% of the female celebrities in Hollywood! Magazines spew endless articles criticizing body images, TV shows us the way "real people" shoud look...music videos are simply degrading and wrongly intentioned. So yes, the media projects their expecations very high. And if you're a woman, it's hard to ignore the other 50% of the world; This is a whole other topic, but a lot of men think of nothing but sex and our whole perception is blurred and sucked by that.

Truthfully, friends and family shouldn't want you to look any certain way. They should care about what you look like, sure, want you to be self-confident and happy, but not fit a fake mold.

Here is what I think. God made me this way. God made you exactly the way you are. Whatever that is, it is meant to be. It's straight from his fingertips. We are all individual, we're not supposed to look the same. There is a beauty that can't be bought when you have confidence. A personaltiy can always shine brighter than any bronzer or manicure. A nose is for scent. Eyes are for seeing. I have become comfortable with the way I am and I love the way I look. I don't care what ad that sounds like. Time is the only thing that can cure your insecurities. You will learn. What you think are "flaws" aren't. We're perfect the way we choose to be, no matter what.

Answer 3

Good question. I believe that these expectations can come from anything-but it particularly comes from the media.

Since we were small children, all we see are women with pounds of make up on who are unhealthy and underweight. You can't go outside without seeing this. We see it on billboards on the side of the road, magazines in a grocery store, and when you finally think you're away from it in the safety of your own home.. You turn on the TV and you see more. We no longer have examples of beauty other than this. Unhealthy bodies are beautiful bodies to the world-and we come to believe this.

Thus, we don't have an image of a reasonable body, a reasonable appearance.. We have an unhealthy one. These models become more than just that-they become role models to young girls.

In the end we have perfectly healthy girls resorting to their friends, "ana" and "mia".. Anorexia and bulimia. They don't KNOW what a healthy body image is, they've completely lost that. Eventually that turns into more than just losing a few pounds. It is then about control, coping.. It's horribly heartbreaking. I've had anorexic and/or bulimic friends who have educated me on the subject, one has even said she can't go outside anymore without wanting to go back, to starve herself.

The hard part.. How to overcome these unrealistic expectations? Very difficult.. You have to realize what a healthy and beautiful body really is. How? I don't know.

EDIT-this is a great video.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Cv3UD9nV_uw

Answer 4

It doesn't affect me because I don't care. I am who I am and as long as I am happy and healthy I don't care how anyone else feels about the way I look. You just have to be who you are! Those are unrealistic looks. These people half the time are either have a eating disorder or they are on drugs or the magazines make them looks better then they really do by altering body parts and what not in the magazine! In order to reach these looks you either have to work really hard at eating right and exercise right and make a daily thing or you have to harm you body to achieve it. What I think is just be who you are and try to be as healthy as you can! Only try to reach your own realistic goal not one that someone else makes for you because they will never be satisfied I wish they would realize that alot of people find it rather disgusting to have such skinny people modeling. Hello we don't look like that! Just be who you are a don't worry about what others think!!!!!!!!!!!!11

Answer 5

Most definitely from the media. The cosmetic surgery industry would not be booming if women didn't have unrealistic expectations to live up to. There's a difference between doing things that make you feel good about yourself versus trying to conform to a specific beauty standard. These days -- the fine line between those two are confused.

Answer 6

They don't bother me because a lot of those women who conform to those standards obviously have had extensive plastic surgery to achieve them and look really fake. I would rather be natural and slightly less attractive looking than beautiful and fake looking.

Also, I don't know who came up with the idea that crooked puffy lips with tiny pointed noses look good together. They don't.

Answer 7

I overcome it by using what I have to its full potential and realizing that the outside is just the pretty wrapping. How you look is certainly important (anyone who says that looks don't matter is a liar), but there is no such thing as a perfect person. I've known several models in my day and THEY don't even look like their pictures. Ever.

Answer 8

I have never known anybody to be pleased with the way they look all of the time. So when I look in the mirror and am not looking the "perfect" way I would like to,(oh! that is almost every day), I just remember that a majority of people feel the same way I do. "Imperfect" me. (Smile)

Answer 9

I have learned to separate body image from self-worth.

It's okay to be unsatisfied with my frizzy hair, or the stretch marks on my hips, or my dry skin, etc.

However, I don't dwell on it, and I don't I let my appearance affect how I feel about myself..

My priorities are my education, my family, my friends, travel, setting my goals high and having the drive to attain them.

I know that I can get into a car accident and become unrecognizable, but no one can take away my career, my relationships.

Answer 10

u just get a certain point of age where u have to love who God made you..and look at the men who tell us we have to be a size 0 or have pam anderson breast or beyonces booty ..these men who think we should look like that are usely fugly as hell ,can only last a minute ,insecure ,and miight need a penile implant ,we as women need to stop being hard on ourselves and stop judging each other and teach the young girls to love them selves and focus on the inner them ..the way i feel if God made us with different types shapes/ eye color/ skin colors /hair textures/ heights/hell different noses it most all be beautifull if God created varieties and thought it was beautiful ..shouldnt we feel that way?

Answer 11

Mine comes, unintentionally of course, from my friends. They are all athletes and dancers, and I don't play any sports. I see them sometimes complaining about how fat they are and I think, if they think they're fat, heaven forbid what they think of me. I try to ignore it, I know I'm beautiful, but sometimes it's hard. When someone insults my friend and I'm there I tell them to go find a mirror, when I'm not there, I let mu friends know that I'm there, they're beautiful, and send them a mix cd of a bunch of songs like Taylor Swifts stay beautiful and Christina Auguleira's Beautiful.