Cheating wife?

Question

i just found out my wife of 7 years cheated on me 1 time 4 month ago with a guy she knew in high school while visiting her parrents with the kids.. the guy is all of the way across the country. however she has been e-mailing him love letters, phone sex and nude pics of her self. as soon as i found out, she admitted it. i asked her to call him and tell him it was over and she did. how can i tell if it is really over between them or should i let her go.

Answer 1

You can't be absolutely sure it's over were there's a will there's a way if she wants to continue the affair with out you knowing the thing is she knows you're on to her game now so she will be a lot more careful to cover evidence so all you can do is trust her or get a divorce really no other options no amount of marriage counseling will help her if she's really not in to it.

Answer 2

I too have been thru what you have and 10 years later I am still married to her. I really only stayed for the kids but to this day I still do not trust her the way I did. Your spouse will never understand the hurt she caused you. You will be reminded about it every where you turn,it is on TV,movies, internet,newspapers for people cheating and every time you see it it will bring back bad memories. I am sorry you are going thru this. It took me 8 years before I could buy her a romantic card or gift because ever time I would look I would talk myself out of getting it for her because I did not think she deserved it. In 6 years my kids will be out of High school and I will see how I feel than. Last year I did catch her again screwing around on the computer but it was not more than that, but it was with someone we were friends with and his wife caught them. She told me, but she would have never said anything to me if she did not get caught. The love
I had for her is no longer there. Watch everything if you decide to stay, I would put spy wear on her computer and get phone records. I wish I could get mine to take a lie detector test to see if all she has said was true. Remember one other thing, if you think she is cheating again than she most likely is. Sorry.

Answer 3

You may just have to take her word for it. The one thing in her favor is she did not lie or deny it. She admitted to you as soon as you confronted her. There is really no way of knowing if its over. You can do your own investigation if you want to put yourself through the task. Checking her e-mails and text messages if possible. Leave the house and tell her you'll be back in a couple of hours and come back home early . See if she gets off the phone quickly or clicks the mouse quickly on the computer.There are things you can do yourself to be certain. If she works then that is another probem for you. good luck

Answer 4

It takes a special person to get over infidelity but it can be done. What has to happen first is that you have to decide that you want to work it out. You can't sit around sulking playing the victim for months and months. Your best shot would be counseling however at the very least you have to find out what it is that you aren't giving her that made her feel that she needed to go somewhere else. It's not always about sex. Let her know that she can be completely honest even if she thinks/knows it will hurt your feelings. When she does you have to be careful not to overreact to what she says. If you can't find the real root of the problem there is no way it can be fixed.

It's very hard but if you are committed to it you can do it. I wish you the best.

Answer 5

I have been married for 11 years and never cheated but I do want to sometimes. It isn't because I don't love my husband cause I do. It is just that he is gone a lot and not romantic and I crave that- along with a little excitement. I think your wife loves you and you have kids together. Just go to some marriage counseling and do the things she was having to get somewhere else. If you both want to, you can make it work. He is just play for her- I'm sure she loves you most.

Answer 6

You know what...you can never know 100% sure. At least not without chaining her to a wall and watching her every move. If it happened and you feel sure enough about her to stay with her then let it go and move on. This has to be reciprocal though. Have you ever asked her if she would still be with you if the other guy lived closer? If she says that she honestly would still be with you, and you believe her, then let it go and go on with your lives together. If you can't believe her then you need to try and trust her again. If you can't then it probably won't work. Good luck.

Answer 7

Talk about it. Find out why she cheated. Is she bored with your sex life? They say people get that 7 year itch. But one should never cheat. Are there areas of your relationship that could be improved? Maybe more alone time? Or try something new together?

Sometimes we get so caught up with life that things can become routine and mundane. Spice it up a little. Find a sitter for the kids for a weekend and spend soem quality time together.

Answer 8

Monitor your phone records. A lot of phone companies have on-line records you can check. You can also get one of those phones that show what numbers have been dialed.

I do suggest going in for counseling... you can flush out the core issues and get an understanding with a professional referee present.

I'm betting she was probably feeling taken-for-granted and neglected and wanted to recapture moments of past glory... probably trying to see if she is still attractive. In which case I would suggest romancing your wife back... pull out all the stops... dinner, dancing, a weekend at a nice hotel.

Answer 9

Just because she called him does not mean its over. If she was sending him nude pictures and love letters there is more to this than just the sex. You need to sit down with your wife and find out if the marriage can be saved? If not, you know where you stand. If it can you both will need to seek some outside help.

Answer 10

Are you sure that it was only one time in 7 years? How can you know that?
If u can handle the fact that you will never trust her the way you did before and always have suspicions on what she is up to and who she is talking to , then keep her. Otherwise you know what to do, hard as it may be.
I would get tested for STD`s.
Good luck.