wants, needs, and feelings of their own?
2007-10-16 06:42:40 · 9 answers · asked by Lucky 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Usually, people are really not that selfish to totally become callice to their partner's needs, wants and feelings.
It really sounds like there is a much deeper issue of unresolved hurts and crushed unmet needs and expectations.
Many times a spouse will actually not have the ability to "care" the way thier spouse needs them to, when they themsselves are hurting and have felt crushed by their partner.
It is imperative, that you both come clean to the table, to openly, without blame or being blamed, express what is hurting them.
If you can't do this without a hurtful situation, then both see a marriage counselor.
2007-10-16 06:50:14 · answer #1 · answered by splashdesign238 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends if you want to remain in a relationship with this person. IF you do, then you should consider counseling with this person. You sound like you're really hurt right now, but like my mother always told me, there are 2 sides to every story. What does your partner do that you consider selfish? Have you talked with your partner about this? Do you expect your partner to read your mind, and then get upset with him/her when your expectations are not met? Remember, none of us are mind readers, no one can know what you want, need or feel unless you tell them, up front and honestly tell them. All this is if you feel the relationship is worth saving.
If you don't, then by all means, cut the line and bail. Move on, because life is WAY too short to be with someone who makes you very unhappy.
2007-10-16 13:53:53 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you chose a selfish partner to begin with? You can't beat it into them that they are 'wrong'.....they are who they are. You can teach them how to treat you, what you will and won't put up with etc, but you can't change a person from being selfish and self centered to suddenly giving a fig about the wants, needs and feelings of others.
2007-10-16 13:51:14 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he hasn't emotionally or socially matured past age 6.
Given that all men are 12 years old, I would say that yours has a bit of a learning disability.
You need to spell things out for him. Perhaps get into couples therapy.
Failing that, you need to give him the boot and find someone who is more your equal.
2007-10-16 13:54:37 · answer #4 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very hard to deal with someone like this. It's better to just give up. If someone is an adult and still doesn't care about the needs of others, it is unlikely that you will change that.
2007-10-16 13:48:51 · answer #5 · answered by Jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek your wants and needs and tend to your feelings the best way you know how. If someone does not understand after you have expressed these needs and wants to them, then you need to let go of it. We cannot MAKE someone feel or do anything. You Will go crazy trying to. Just communicate then let it go and take care of yourself.
2007-10-16 13:49:11 · answer #6 · answered by Twiggy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
move on honey...if he doesnt understand that there are 2 people in a relationship he should be single.
2007-10-16 13:50:34 · answer #7 · answered by Truth Hurts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
grab him and tell him to force him to understand and be firm and must show ur love to him , tell him that u cant explain but he must to understand and trust what u say lol
2007-10-16 13:51:18 · answer #8 · answered by michael 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave him for someone that does
2007-10-16 13:48:03 · answer #9 · answered by Nessaja 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋