NOW is this fair?

Question

am a housewife and do all the jobs around the home my payment is a packet of fags a day off my husband no weekends out etc i have a daughter that spends her days in bed and goes out with boyfriend at night he gives her money when she asks and she is nearly 18

my husband her father gives her money for clothes etc i have to make do with clothes i bought a couple of years ago

trojan your spot on

Answer 1

that is hardly fair my mum works her fingers to the bone and my dad has teh common courtesy to say you missed a spot or what a tip you do everything for your family you deserve far more than a pack of fags and no days out you should tell him youre fed up and a day off would be nice you know sunday is supposed to be the day of rest tell him your going out then

Answer 2

Perhaps you should start by getting a part time job, save enough money and get out. Your home sounds more like a broken home with no love and zero respect. Regain your soul, your self worth and find a life that will give you happiness.
If leaving is just not what you want then I'd still get a job, just to meet people and gain friendship and support. You sound quite lonely and your family is taking advantage of you and are all showing you little respect or compassion.
Your teen needs to get a job of her own or start helping out with daily chores and your husband should force the issue also. If he's not on board with this then he is just an enabler and your daughter will never understand why this is necessary for her future. In essence she may never leave home or create a life of her own because life is too good at home. Stop doing things for her, stop giving her money and let her know why it's necessary for everyone to pitch in and help around the house.
If nothing works start implementing rules and curfews. The less she does the more rules and earlier the curfews.

Answer 3

You need to stand in your power. Your new mantra is, “If the mama ain’t happy, then NOBODY is happy.” The mama is the ultimate authority. You must step into your power as such.

You don't want this heifer hanging around until she is 30, do you?
The first thing is to get your husband on the same page as you and cut the cash pipeline to the daughter. If any money goes to that daughter, she should earn it. She should be cleaning up after herself and should be pitching in and doing a few chores around the house this last year before she graduates from high school.
She is old enough to earn her own way. Let her get a job.
If she doesn't like the rules of the house that you lay down for her, then the door is that-a-way.

Answer 4

I'm so sorry to hear that. I think it is completely ridiculous! I wish you could go on strike so he will know just how worthy you are around there, but I know you can't do that because you can't just let the house go.

I would say that you let him know that he is being completely unfair. Tell him that he gets a paycheck and that you work every bit as hard as he does and should have something to show for it as well. If saying something doesn't work, maybe you could open up your own account and get you a part time job somewhere and deposit your whole check in there. Why not?? You obviously aren't appreciated near enough in what you are doing anyway. You see though...he shouldn't give you a hard time about it at all when you bring it up. This is your money too and I think he needs to be more respectful to you. I would literally demand for things to change. I was trying to find some info on the internet for you saying just how much homemakers are worth, because I remember seeing on the Today show a year or so ago that they are worth so much...like way up there in money. Unfortunately I never did find exactly what I was looking for, but let me tell you something...you are worth sooo much! So, he needs to learn to appreciate all you do.

Good luck to you and I hope this helps.

Answer 5

Then stop letting yourself be walked on and stand up for yourself. And soon as your daughter turns 18, tell her she either gets a job, pays rent or moves out. By the way, no one ever said life was fair, you have to make the best of it.

Answer 6

He does that to you because you let him. Why can't you go out and get a job?? You said your daughter is 18 she is old enough to fend for herself.Put your foot down be a WOMEN....

Answer 7

stop complaining, who pays the bills, puts the food in the cupboards, pays the mortgage, and pays for everything else aswell, hes probly not got much left t spare, y dony u go out and get a job then you have your own bit of money.

Answer 8

You need to get out of your situation, if not only for you, then to teach your daughter about self worth. You are doing no one any favors by staying in a sh!tty relationship.

Answer 9

I agree...u should go on strike! They are all taking you for granted! Just because you don't get paid money , doesn't mean its not work! Don't put up with this anymore!

Answer 10

I was told a "Fair" is what comes around during the summer time. He's only doing what you let him do.