ok, this is the story: my husband and I live with roommates. (they also have a kid) we are 5 people inside the house. Everything good, we have a good time, etc... but when it comes to "consideration for the other people that live in the house" I just want to kill them.... I get so angry!!! listen:: last night we order to go food, I was felling sick so I did not eat my hamburger. My husband said, "well, if you are not eating it, I will take for lunch tomorrow". so I paid my roommates for the 2 hamburgers (because she went to pick them up) Guess what? next morning was gone!!! yes, my roommate’s boyfriend ate it last nigh! why??? I paid for it???? I am so sick that even this smallest thing drives me crazy!!! should I complaint for $7.00??? You think I will sound cheap? they do it all the time!
just to give an idea, before I cook I have to clean dirty plates (from 3 days ago) because she does not clean them and she uses every single pan and knife in the kitchen.
2007-10-16 05:55:55 · 9 answers · asked by :) 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You have a problem - but I think you already know that! You say that "everything good, we have a good time" - really?
You and your husband are being used by these people. Of course you feel resentful! Who wouldn't?
Is this your home or theirs or are you renting together? Whatever the situation, your friends still are not behaving like adults who are sharing space with other adults. There should be only one kid in the group.
A lot of these issues should have been hammered out before they ever moved in. Setting house rules could have gone a long way to saving a friendship - but it sounds like it might be too late for that.
Can you change the rules now? Or, rather, can you make some rules now? No one should take food that you paid for. No one should leave a mess for you to clean up. Hopefully you can initiate a serious discussion in which you lay down your expectations. If they are truly your friends then they will want to work things out. And, just maybe, there are some things that you and your husband do that they don't like. This would provide a forum for your friends to offer their expectations as well.
If this doesn't go over well, if they think that you are being too demanding, then I would say "Bye-bye". Life is too short to always feel like "killing someone"!
2007-10-16 06:05:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Here are some ideas:
Ask your roommates to write down some ideas/rules for running the household and tell them you and your husband are going to do the same. Set a date and time for getting together to discuss what you have all come up with.
Sit down with your roommates and tell them you would appreciate a little more consideration when it comes to cleaning up after themselves and not eating food that is not community purchased. Community food would be food/drinks that were bought from money everybody pitched into the pot. Maybe you could say to put your name on something you purchased for your own consumption or something like that.
The last idea would be to set the rules yourself, have them sign an agreement that says they will abide by the rules under the penalty of having to move within 30 days if they don't tidy up after themselves and eat their own food. Make sure to include how many written notices they can get before they will have to move out. If you do have to write them up, make sure they sign the document and that they receive a copy of it. That keeps the legal system on your side. You might even want to go online and research how to draw up a legal agreement.
I'm with you though, adults and children over the age of 5 should be able to clean up after themselves fairly well and people who mooch need to be dealt with.
2007-10-16 13:28:27 · answer #2 · answered by Loves the Ponies 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell them when the kids are not around that you need to talk with them in an adult conversation...
when you do talk tell them that you have been noticing that they are not pulling their weight around the house and tell them that it would be different if it were once in a while but it happens too frequently... tell them you understand that kids are expensive and a handful but they need to find time to clean up after themselves and if the fridge is becoming too much of a problem that you are feeling rather stressed that when you pay for an item you expect to use it for your own family, explain to them that you do not try to disrespect them and you are sure they don't think they have done much to be disrespectful but you feel that it is a bit overwhelming to share a space and try to buy items and then they are gone when you need or want to use them... for instence the food... tell them that you don't want to be drastic and buy a fridge with a lock on it but it is cutting into your pocket when you are saving money for the things you need or want in the future... tell them that if you and your hubby did anything t offend that you would like to know so that no one is secretly upset because you want everything out in the open... Tell them that you only wanted to have a mutual mature conversation about this so that things might improve and make everyone a little less stressed.
2007-10-16 14:42:00 · answer #3 · answered by sweetmommy101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to be in the same situation as you and believe me it only got worse each day the only thing to do is talk it out or find a different place because when you talk it out you probably will only end up arguing with each other and one of the parties will have to leave or there will always be anger toward each other Best of Luck to you and your husband and no you are not being cheap they are taking advantage of you guys.
2007-10-16 13:07:34 · answer #4 · answered by moringurl20 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of couse, if you make noise just for the $7, they will laught at you, also you husband.
1. make sure do not put any foods that you not allow people to eat them.Keep your food into your room.
2."plz clean and wash after cook and used"write it into a white card board, and stick it on the wall around sin.
3.unfortunally tht you will not allow to buy any things to store into frozen, otherwise they will eat when you are not at home, or to sleep.
4 don't you think tht you should arrange a families member meeting with them?sch as make a duty for each people,like cleaning...and also to tell wht you expect them to do, and wht they expect you to do.just to exchange ideas.
2007-10-16 13:15:50 · answer #5 · answered by sharo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm Sorry but I'd tell them to ship up or ship out. Set some ground rules. This has got to stop, they sound irresponsible to me.
2007-10-16 12:59:39 · answer #6 · answered by Ripsi W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just sit down with your roomate and tell her what is wrong and see if the both can get some ground rules.
good luck :)
2007-10-16 13:32:35 · answer #7 · answered by ash<3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to discuss .. with your roomate.. and make rule s in ur house to .. such as ... clean after use...
2007-10-16 13:02:25 · answer #8 · answered by wsaupi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your way of thinking is different from me, no comment
2007-10-16 12:59:22 · answer #9 · answered by Rana 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋