I have a huge problem I have been with a man for 2 years and we have a 5 month old and we ar eplanning on getting married but I am not sure if I want to? We are starting to become diffrent people it feels like and i am not sure if its because having children makes everything so much harder or if we were not reallt supposed to end up together after all? what do i do?
2007-10-16 05:55:47 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I had my baby and I would never give him away for anything he is my flesh and blood and he will not have a substandered life with just a single parent and its to bad you feel that way I only had my mother and she was all I needed!!
2007-10-16 06:10:42 · update #1
just so its clear i did take birth control everyday and we were also using a 2nd form of BC! So I am not being oblivious to how to not have a child he just came and i am so greatful for him every momemt
2007-10-16 11:13:23 · update #2
Just wait a little longer....no need to hurry, discuss it with him and see how things will evolve between you now with the kid
2007-10-16 05:59:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love changes... and evolves from what you had with this man two years ago. You now have a child. Step to the plate, hon, marry the father of your child, be a good mom and a good wife. If you didn't want children with the man, bc pills work wonderfully. Why didn't you take them the???? Your child, who never asked to be born, deserves both parents committed to giving that child the best life possible, and raising that child in a loving relationship. If you can't do that easily, get some counseling on how to be a family. It is no longer about you, it is about your husband and your child....
2007-10-16 13:47:36 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are becoming different people, it is because you have a child now. You have responsibilities and the time for playing house is over. It would have been nice if you guys had used protection, before you brought a child in the world without the benefit of marriage. Either you're going to step up and be a wife and mother, or you'll subject your child to a substandard lifestyle, as a single parent. Either way, life is going to be harder for you (unless, of course, you give the child away).
2007-10-16 13:05:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is something that you have to take seriously and knowing that you guys are equally yoke but you don't want to ask yourself this question a 1or 2 down the line "why did i get married" try marriage counseling first if you haven't done that yet or sit down with your fiance and communicate with him on how you feel about the delimma maybe it will blow over once you address the problem. because it is expensive to get a divorce than getting married, so way out your pros & cons, is this the man you want to spen the rest of your life with? these are some of the questions you have to ask yourself.
2007-10-16 13:07:38 · answer #4 · answered by keke 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woooow that's a tough I'm kinda going through the a similar situation the difference is that I'm pregnant and well we're not getting married I just don't feel like I want to live with him anymore. Just take things slow and try not to rush into something that you might later regret.
2007-10-16 13:05:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart. Even though you have a child by this man it does not mean you have to marry him. There must be something really wrong with this guy if he is the father of your child and your the one not wanting to marry him. Usually the woman will cling on to the guy if they have a child by him. If you are not happy with him I say move on and find someone that will make you happy. Your child is not going to be any happier because you decided to marry his dad because it will be choas and the child will know something is not quite right.
2007-10-16 13:01:15 · answer #6 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know...you have been through a lot already...the pregnancy hormones, etc., just having a baby...you have been on a hormonal roller coaster. Just chill. You obviously have very strong feelings for your man, you had a baby with him and have been with him for 2 years. Let your body and mind get back to where you were before you got pregnant and then make your decision.
2007-10-16 13:33:27 · answer #7 · answered by lahockeyg 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Beacuse you have a child together is not the ultimate answer to marry.......Especially if you feel strongly against it. Love and respect each other comes before and hopefully AFTER the vows. If one does not FEEL it, there's no reason to pursue marriage at this time.
2007-10-16 13:03:10 · answer #8 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOOOO. Do not get married unless you are completely sure that is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Just postpone the engagement and see how it goes. If it is meant to be it will be and if he truly loves you he will be willing to wait for you.
2007-10-16 12:59:18 · answer #9 · answered by Angela O 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have any questions at all about whether you should get married to someone or not, don't do it.
Marriage is SUPPOSED to be forever. Period.
Ask yourself this -
Can you send the rest of your waking moments with this man?Would you be able to move on if you weren't with him for forever?
2007-10-16 13:17:44 · answer #10 · answered by Paula Christine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you did not want to be tied to him for life you should not have had children with him.
Why don't you just skip the marriage .
When your kids ask you some day why you are not married to dad, just tell them that you didn't love him just had children with him.
What's wrong with this picture?
2007-10-16 13:00:09 · answer #11 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋