I love my fiancee the thing though is he doesnt trust me. Why i have no idea. I have never given him a reason at all. How do i tell him in not so many words that I want to be with him and only him. There is no need to worry
2007-10-16 05:41:34 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You cannot convince someone with words that you will be faithful and love them only. It will take time, time to show him with your actions and your very being that you are his and his alone. Some people just need more reassurement than others.
Perhaps he has had someone in his past that he put his trust in and they didn't deserve it. It may take him time to learn to trust again.
Hang in there and love him, he can't help but see how much you love him and love you in return.
2007-10-16 05:51:40 · answer #1 · answered by mn lady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Him not trusting you may be because of previous relationships that he's had where the female cheated on him which gave him a reason not to trust any women.. My step dad is kind of the same way with my mom, because he actually walked in on his ex screwing another man.. You should definitely talk to him about it and be direct, find out if anything like that DID happen to him and tell him that you are NOT that woman and never will be.. Tell him exactly how you feel no matter how many words it takes.. If you REALLY love this man and know he loves you also, then that's what you gotta do . Good luck!
2007-10-16 05:47:22 · answer #2 · answered by justplainsweet83 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to nip it in the bud now because if he is already showing signs of being insecure and not trusting you then the problems are going to get worse down the road. Love should be based on trust unless that trust has been broken. You might want to rethink this marriage until he gets help with his insecurities. He also could be having affairs himself and feeling guilty so he is thinking you might be doing the same thing as well. Look into this before you get married or you will be sorry.
2007-10-16 05:46:33 · answer #3 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is very insecure about himself so He transfers that on to you but not trusting you. This way in his mind if something happens & you 2 split he aready has himeslf cover from getting really hurt because he never trusted you.
All you can do is make him feel secure, give him absolutely no reason to not trust you, be an open book to him.
I hope he isn't doing this to be controling over you, make you feel that you need to cling to him more so he will trust you, I mean this could be the first step in a chain of abuse.
So please make sure you knw in your heart the reason why he feels this way, is it he is not secure (which may also be a ploy to pull you in under his control), or is it he needs to be controlling over you.
2007-10-16 05:49:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok, i am currently going throuhg this but i am the insecure one.... I know some many people have VERY different opinons about this subject but if you really want to be withtis guy cances are that he has been through some crappy realationships before, you just have to wait it out and continue not to give him reasons to not trust you... that means that you might have to give up going to the bar with your girlfriends and stuff like that... Sit him down and ask him what makes him not trust you... Just because a guy does this does NOT mean that he is a dog.... Talk to him and really open up to him!!!
2007-10-16 06:01:50 · answer #5 · answered by wocka_7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he can't trust you, call off the engagement. There will always be doubt in his head no matter who he is with. It sounds like he has been hurt before. It takes a really long time to get over all of that.
2007-10-16 05:57:41 · answer #6 · answered by nbuck11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should give this some very VERY serious thought. If there is a tiny issue BEFORE marriage, it will become an unsurmountable mountain, AFTER marriage.
Marriage NEVER resolves problems, but rather creates a different living environment that may become an extremely difficult adjustment for both parties.
2007-10-16 05:53:07 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In those exact words you tell him that you have ever gave him a reason to think that you should not be trusted and you deserve trust you all cant get married with these circumstances.
2007-10-16 05:45:36 · answer #8 · answered by Amiyah Mom born 7/12/09 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
take it from someone who has been married 16 yrs if this guy doesnt trust you you ask him how can we build a soild and firm relationship if you dont trust me there has to be trust in the both of you trust is the key word to marriage and if he is blaming you he is more than likely the one who is doing something wrong
2007-10-16 05:47:56 · answer #9 · answered by kelly m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume that he asked youu to marry him and not the reverse. How long ago did you two get engaged? If he doubts you now, think twice before getting married. You should just be honest with him and ask him why he doubts your loyalty to him. Chances are that he'll always "wonder" no matter how much you try to reassure him of your faithfulness. As the monhs and years go by, his doubts about you will increase and eventually get divorced. I think he is very insecure about himself with low self-esteem. Be very careful.......PLEASE, before making any further committment.
2007-10-16 05:54:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋