In sum of the past few years, my fiance and I met. We fell head over heels for eachother. Our biggest hurdle is our ages, we are 17 years apart. Last July 2006 I got pregnant. My little boy is now 6 months old. You would think everything was just peachy, but its the sheer opposite. Ever since I was about 7 months pregnany, our level of intimacy has reduced to about one a month or less...he doesnt kiss me or show any esire to be intimate. I am trying so hard to deal, but I dont know if I can. There are many other elements as well...his two kids ages 9 and 14 who are very spoiled and his daughter is VERY bratty. I am expected to watch them every weekend while he is at work, while their mother goes away for the weekend?. We just finished taking almost a month break from eachother, but things are not that diffrent. He keeps asking if we are going to plan the wedding for this spring or summer, but I have no desire to?! I feel like I am beginning to loose intrest in him?I am so confused.HELP
2007-10-16 05:39:50 · 10 answers · asked by nezzer 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds to me that he loves you if he keep asking you when are you two are going to get married. Just look at the good qualities he have. The best choice you can do is have some communication between each other, talk about your dislikes and likes, tell him how you feel, and aslo let him know that you are tired of his wife taking off on the weekend that she needs to start taking care of her own kids, that, that is not your responsibility, tell him you do not have a problem with it, but tell that every weekend is to much, his ex wife is taking advantage of you. You just have to let him know what is going on, that will get your fraustration out!!! Believe me it works.
I am sure he does not know how you feel, and he need to know. You did not loose interest in him, you just feel lonely and depress, I am sure if you to decide to split, I am sure you will miss himm to much.
2007-10-16 05:53:09 · answer #1 · answered by kawhi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to decide what you want out of this relationship or if you want to just call it a day and move on. Definitely don't just get married if you're unsure. Having a baby is a stressful time in any couple's life and it does change things dramatically. But it doesn't have to be for the worse. If you want things to work out then take action to get the intimacy back and spend more time together as a family and just as a couple- hire a sitter for a date night once a week or every few weeks. That alone might help you reconnect. If all else fails before you break it off try seeing a couples counselor who may be able to help you salvage things. Best of luck :)
2007-10-16 12:46:03 · answer #2 · answered by needstoknow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in this case, the age difference is only one more sign that it won't work and you shouldn't get married to this guy. Are you certain that he is working on the weekend and not meeting the ex wife somewhere? Why is he working weekends if that is when the visitation takes place? start by telling him that there will be no more weekend visitation unless he is there to spend time with the kids. If you took a month break from each other but things didn't change when he came back you need to either get some counseling together if you want to try to save the relationship, move out yourself and file for child support, or throw him out and still file for child support.
You may want to even get some counseling by yourself to get past your confusion and you may come to see this guy as a user rather than a future husband. Good luck to you!!
2007-10-16 13:07:16 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm yeah - your not happy. i say you knew about his other kids and their bratty ways before you got pregnant so why are you complaining now? as far as watching them on the weekend? you dug yourself into this hole. you could have said I'm not going to watch you kids, find another jobs working weekdays, what arrangements do your fiance & his ex have? if there is nothing definite like every other weekend, maybe you should look into that. as far as sex, well again, you knew the age difference & this is an obvious thing where maybe your sex drives may not be in sync. too many problems here... good luck.
2007-10-16 12:48:54 · answer #4 · answered by Me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is why it's never a good idea to have a child with somebody you're not even committed enough to marry, or vice versa. You've got yourself in a hole, and I wish you the best in trying to find a solution. But don't get married unless you're extremely confident it will work, because if you do you're just divorce waiting to happen.
2007-10-16 12:47:53 · answer #5 · answered by someguy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
These times hurt the most. Im going through pretty much the same thing. If he loves you he would want everything to do with you in bed.
Your gut is telling you something. A wedding would be bad and it would only cause you to feel trapped.
2007-10-16 12:44:25 · answer #6 · answered by browns_86 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children can certainly add a strain to a relationship, in the way of intimacy. But it shouldn't have you at odds with one another. The fact that you are feeling used by caring for his other children
2007-10-16 12:54:18 · answer #7 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you should take a long break and find someone else. He probably already did.
2007-10-16 12:44:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whatever you do, don't marry this man. It will only make things worse. You and your son deserve bette.
2007-10-16 12:46:11 · answer #9 · answered by beez 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your hormones haven't balanced out yet......I think that you are reading into things more than you need to.
2007-10-16 12:44:06 · answer #10 · answered by Been There Done That 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋