im married to foriegn guy..dont have work..my husband do the financing and everything. so i let him do that since he has a work and he dont want me to control the money thing. and so it end up i dont have a personal money though sometimes yes but very seldom. he likes helping if he wants to. my problem sometimes my parents wants me to help them but how? my husband dont like to help them for reason. i dont give him any problem; like i dont smoke, drink, gamble..or anything that makes him unhappy..he is very helpful he chooses who he will going to help. i love shopping but i does that once or twice in a month..mostly he does the decision making. yes he ask some suggestions but his decision still gonna win.so what do u think the problem is? anyone help me or explain it?
2007-10-16 03:59:26 · 7 answers · asked by ambot 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It does not sound like he mistreats you, or denies you anything. It sounds like he is a loving husband that is making a living to support you and loves you.
If he does not want to help your family financially there is nothing you can do about it. He may have his reasons or maybe he thinks they should be able to help himself, either way you should talk to him and ask if he will help them but you have to be willing to accept his decision no matter what it is.
Be happy that your husband loves you, that you love him and that you have a good life with him...
Good Luck To You
2007-10-16 04:06:01 · answer #1 · answered by mn lady 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You allowed him to control you. You put your life on hold for this man and now are probably scared because you have not worked and feel like you have no decisions in this marriage. You have every right to give money to whomever you want if it is for a reasonable cause. Your husband thinks you have no rights due to he is the bread winner and you are the housewife. This is 2007 now both people work in the home. I think it was better the other way but now a days you have to be prepared just in case something happens to the marriage. The one who works has no respect for the other because they really do not know what you do all day long. I think you are being controlled by this man.
2007-10-16 04:08:24 · answer #2 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He seems very controlling, but you don't seem like you probably fully understand the financial situation.
My husband works and I don't. I'm a stay at home mom. We discussed this firsthand and decided that this is how we would raise our children. Both of us have given up some luxuries so we could afford to do so.
When he comes in every week, he hands me his pay check and we sit down and figure the bills out together. Then I buy groceries. Then we split what's left and put it in the bank in case of an emergency. Occassionally, we'll go out to eat or see a movie- but not often. We both understand the importance of budgeting.
We talk about anything we do that will affect the other. Neither of us makes plans to do anything with friends or family unless we run it by the other first- because it's disrespectful, in our opinion.
2007-10-16 04:05:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you should talk to your husband and try to be a bit more independent.Now and days society sees us as equals,and that way you would not have to worry about not having your own money or not being able to help your parents.A part time could work,and if not you two could get in some kind of agreement,towards you would get an allowance here and there to spend it as you please.But do it wisely,talk with him first and try to work it out in a way that you both can be happy about it.Good luck!
2007-10-16 04:09:26 · answer #4 · answered by brownsugarbr02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the problem is that you have allowed him to have entire control of your marriage. everything in your life revolves around if he will left you do it or have it. marriage is not supposed to be that way. yes, he is the one that earns the money. if you want your own, go out and get a job. if you want things to change, change them.
2007-10-16 04:20:08 · answer #5 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess it all depends on what you see as exceptable.
I couldn't be in your shoes....I have to feel like an equal partner. I work, I pay bills, we go in 50/50 on everything or we don't get it. I have to have my own $$.
2007-10-16 04:10:35 · answer #6 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no rights, you should be thankful you get to shop, now get back to the cooking and cleaning. Next time you have a thought, remember your place.
2007-10-16 04:06:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋