why is it that self acceptance/self love is the hardest lesson?

Question

With our society bombarded with ads to make yourself more beautiful, why can't we accept ourselves as we are?

Answer 1

Though well meant, "accept yourself as you are" is often NOT the best advice. Should these people accept themselves as they are?

- Someone who weighs 500 pounds and is suffering from numerous medical problems because of their weight.

- Someone who is angry and beats their children mercilessly to vent that anger.

- Someone who drinks excessively and then drives their car, endangering their own life and the lives of others.

Obviously those people need to make a change and NOT accept themselves as they currently are. Who they currently are is not acceptable.

Acceptance of yourself is important, but you first must become acceptable before you can accept yourself. That's not to say that the "perfect self" images projected by some advertisements are necessarily what you must become to be acceptable, though. And it also doesn't mean that all the people who think they are inadequate are actually inadequate. But the advertisers address those feelings of inadequacy and use them to sell their products.

Almost all people are born perfectly acceptable. Then things happen that make us THINK we are unacceptable in one way or another. Thinking that leads to becoming that, and we need to fix what we've become AND the original issues that made us become that before we can find ourselves acceptable. Or we can become depressed (which isn't necessarily a bad thing) and give up and decide to live with the unsatisfactory self we've become.

Imagine a young child who runs to Mommy wanting a hug. But Mommy is taking a hot pot full of noodles off the stove, so she pushes the child away, not wanting the child to get burned. Maybe the child sees this as rejection. The real reasons behind Mommy's actions aren't understood, so the child begins to think, "Mommy doesn't love me. I'm not acceptable." Then that though manifests itself as a churning feeling in the stomach. The child knows that hunger is a churning feeling in the stomach, so they eat to try to make it go away. Then they find that eating makes the bad feeling in the stomach go away for awhile. But then it comes back, so the child eats more and more, gaining weight until they become morbidly obese later in life. The person still has the bad feeling in the stomach, and eating still seems to make it go away, and it still comes back when they stop eating, so the cycle perpetuates itself.

This happens all the time, with all kinds of emotions and all kinds of ineffective reactions to those emotions (excessive eating, smoking, drinking, or gambling, drug addiction, physical abuse, self mutilation, etc.) The reaction distracts the person from the bad feeling, but as soon as they stop distracting the bad feeling comes back, so they go right on with the distraction.

Fix the original problem, then fix the distractive behavior, THEN accept and love yourself because you'll be someone who you find acceptable and lovable.

Answer 2

Because we want to be accepted and that forces to become a society of cookie cutter people. The absolute best life lesson is when we can accept our differences and even learn to cherish them.

This question makes me think about all the people that participate in Special Olympics they are different and they accept themselves and others the way they are with encouragement and love.

What an incredible lesson that is for all of us.

But yes, all this rambling just comes down to acceptance issues and the inability that we have to accept ourselves and others.

Answer 3

Because the advertisers are smart. Social psychologists are employed by advertising agencies. What it all boils down to is that people are more likely to buy when they feel they have a need. People are social creatures and have a need for acceptance. By narrowing the standards for beauty (and other things), more people feel less accepted and therefore consume more goods to fill the gap. Ads ALWAYS present us with a need (which sometimes we didn't even know we had) and then a solution. Media stereotypes play with our need to fit in.

As people are starting to wise up, advertisers are starting to aim younger and younger. Young people are more susceptible because they are forging their identity and need to belong. Watch MTV for a day. You will see even more narrowly defined people, more shows centered on glorifying the lives of the wealthy, and so on and so forth.

The moral of the story is, don't be a tool!

Answer 4

We may but media wouldn't let that happen,Billions and billions of investment and expected returns wouldn't allow us to do any thing like that.If we really want to understand the power of media(advertisement and publicity included),just think of Coca cola.A worthless sweetened and aerated water which does more harm to body than any other such thing,is an international brand with presence every where and worth hundreds of Billions. Think, when an ugly duckling is given a hope and also assurance to get turned in to a prince/princess charming,how many of us can resist it?That's the power of media at it's best.No,there is no escape ,at least as of NOW.

Answer 5

Because those adverts which tell us we can be beautiful imply that we are not beautiful. We are bombarded by them all the time and in many places. We are also told from an early age that to think in such terms is bad. Think of all the things we are told:... 'Pride before a fall', 'It'll all go wrong', 'too big for your boots' ect. no wonder we are the way we are.

Answer 6

I don't know about you, but I know plenty of people who love themselves a little too much. Can I say arrogance?
Of course everyone has parts about them they don't like, even if they like to hide it under tons of pride. It's only natural for a human to look at another and want to be just like them- or better. It's a shame, but it's always important to remember that there are people looking at YOU the same exact way. It takes a while to accept yourself as you are- and there are no shortcuts. The only way is to learn more about yourself by learning more about others. That way, you can appreciate yourself and those around you. Wouldn't that be Utopia?

Answer 7

Self love is extremely difficult because society treats most people like work slaves giving them no benefits, health care or basic respect. Combine that with bad parents who degraded you, and self-love is almost impossible. Then there's the issue that self-love is the arrogance of being beautiful, rich, and powerful, instead of the true values that make a person feel worthwhile.

Answer 8

Quit looking at the ads and looking at yourself through the filter of what you think society holds dear. Sure, the truly vain might judge you on looks, but who wants to pal around with some vain shallow people? Surround yourself with genuine people. Or, the bad joke out of this would be to surround yourself with people uglier than you...but you know I am kidding..:-)

Answer 9

I think it's hard to accept ourselves for who we are because we have other negative influences around us (in school, work, or anywhere for that matter) that take us down by making fun of who you are, what you where or the way you talk, and the more people listen to negative influences the more they beleive them and grow into what they're being called.

Answer 10

Nice to always be able to one up. Thinks of how boring life would be if there was never any self improvement. All this aside the secret is finding your passion. Once we have passion we’re too busy to worry about silly things. Besides people look their best when they’re caught up in what they’re passionate about. Just gets this glow…..you know?