My husband has found the job of his dreams and I am really happy for him, but since our marriage has gone to pot. I do not want him to have to find another job, he loves it so much and the family that he works with. It is just that since he has gotten this job it is all he wants anymore. He says that he loves me and I believe that he does but he doesnt want to do anything with me anymore at all. He doesn't even talk to me on the phone for longer that 2 minutes, (I am not exagerating) at a total time of maybe 5 minutes a day. The only day that he is home is Sunday and while he is home all he wants to do is sleep, which i understand, but he wont even try to carry on a conversation with me. If one of his work buddies or boss call he dedicated all of his time to them. I just don't know if it would help to have him find another job or if maybe he is just not interested in our marriage anymore. What do you think the best reponse would be. I have talked to him about this to no avail.
2007-10-16 03:23:19 · 26 answers · asked by confused 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A little bit about me. Its not like I sit home by myself all day. I am very busy myself with work and school, but I just feel like since this job our marriage is not getting the attention that it needs. I try to put time into it and feel like he is just letting it go. I don't even know if it is related to the job, but that is when I really started to notice the problems.
2007-10-16 03:30:38 · update #1
so people can see how little time we have, he works from 8 and usually doesn't get home until after midnight everynight. I am at work at 7 am and home around 10 pm, so we really have no family time.
2007-10-16 03:41:48 · update #2
FORCE your husband eh ? I see why your marriage is over. If you admit it's "in the pot " why are you spending so much time on a man that obviously has seperated himself from you already ? The short phone conversations are a hint here. Dosent want to do anything with you - hint ! Won't carry on a conversation anymore - hint ! Sleeping all day Sunday - hint !
2007-10-16 03:30:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Its just a matter of time that he would figure out what's him to do, family first or job first. However I believe he may be keeping himself a distance from your perhaps it might be the way you react towards him. There are time women be doing stuff to their men which even if their men don't say anything back, they get hurt and bear it instead of bringing it up.This happen quit often and as a result of these he feel its better of to stay away from you. Sometimes minor or little things at home bother a man, e.g wife complaining on anything, bugging unnecessary, having poor communication plays a key role. To fix your marriage problem, the first thing in a family is to respect each other. Better communication, politely and gently will solve allot of issue. Men do need some space for themselves to reevaluate themselves. Have a better understandable communication with your man, push him to explain you what you are doing wrong, think about those issues and correct them if necessary. Stop complaining and discover his interested and join him. Make him feel special and comfortable physical and emotional and keep on polite communication. he will give it in.
2007-10-16 03:43:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately as grown ups we have to make grown up sacrifices for our family. If you want to be in a marriage you must think like a couple. Compromises are necessary to work together. The job has to work for the family. Not just him.
I have decided to wait for my "dream Job" until the kids are out of the house. It just isn't conducive to our schedule right now.
Sometimes it's harder for guys to see the big picture. What good is the dream job if your home life sucks?
The only suggestion I can think of is try to get him to talk to you. Don't whine. Have your facts ready. Men are more likely to hear you if you don't let your emotions get the best of you.
I wish you the best.......
2007-10-16 03:35:06 · answer #3 · answered by gypsy rose lee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try your best and be supportive of him. The same goes if a spouse is returning to school. If he found a job that he is passionate about it is critical that you and the family stand by him. Is his position full of opportunity for growth and profit? If so, tough it out - he has you in mind and wants only the best for his family. It simply takes sacrifice and sweat.
On the other hand, if the job is not promising opportunity and income growth, then maybe his time isnt being well-spent.
Good luck!
2007-10-16 03:30:18 · answer #4 · answered by erok2020 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you need counciling--
If neither one of you gets home until 10;00pm, it's no wonder you don't have a life, and your husband sleeps all day Sunday.
You need to sit down with your husband and set time limits.
No more than 50 hours per week, per person, work/school combined.
No more than 4 hours on Saturday.
No talking about work at home
No phone calls except emergencys....
If he doesn't shape up, he can move into work, because his stuff will be on the porch....
2007-10-16 04:07:52 · answer #5 · answered by Sophie B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take it easy,you need to realise that men and women r not the same,for a man,responsibilities are all that he can thnk of after marriage and u shud support him to do his work properly and not crib about it.i feel sad about us,women,we can have problems with anything and everything and if nothing else now its the job which he enjoys and is happy doing..about the lack of time spent together,m sure u can plan holidays once a month ot get away at weekends,m sure he will understand talk to him about it,good luck!!
2007-10-16 03:30:31 · answer #6 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you need to sit down with your husband and discuss his work-a-holic tendencies. It takes 2 people to make a marriage, not just one. I think he has a decision to make: either leave you and have his career, or cut back on his career and have a loving wife. Those are his only options left because he's screwed all the other ones.
2007-10-16 03:33:46 · answer #7 · answered by theewokprincess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder if you can talk to the wife of one of his coworkers. See if that's how it was in the beginning for her and maybe w/ time the job will ease up. I understand what it's like to have the job of your dreams. But that doesn't mean you still like to get up early to go in. It also doesn't mean the you don't look forward to coming home. You know? That's just odd.
2007-10-16 03:29:58 · answer #8 · answered by bunny77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I seriously doubt that you can force your husband to get another job....as a spouse you would think that spending time with one another would be a top priority...obviously it isn't one of his priorities....You should try talking to him about your need for him to make time for you....and if he refuses to....you either accept that this is the way he is going to be...or you get out of the marriage.....you can't change him...but you can change you...meaning that you don't have to put up with his ways if you don't want to.....you have the option of leaving the relationship...
2007-10-16 03:37:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a good thing for your husband to be happy at work. I understand you feeling isolated and neglected. If it were me, I would start searching for something to give me that kind of gratification like a new job or a hobby or a club, and ask for his support just like you supported him. Try to find something to get him tuned back in from work to your relationship.
2007-10-16 03:28:40 · answer #10 · answered by vaughnc5920 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋