I was happily engaged for 4 months, during which there were plenty of preparations around the wedding that was scheduled for next week. The girl's family had spoken with my parents about gifts that they needed to give to my relatives. However, I took it off the table asking that no gifts would be taken from them, however her parents insisted that the gifts were already bought. Last week, I called off the wedding. My ex and I were not 100% sure of getting married. Now, her parents are angry with me, thinking it was all my fault. I received a call from her dad today saying that whatever gifts they had bought for us as well as cancelation charges for the venue need to be borne by me. He just went on with how I screwed up and how his daughters life was spoilt, while it was a mutual decision to call it off. He is talking of legal means of dealing with me, if I didnt pay up for the expenses incured for the wedding gifts. Its caused a lot of distress for my visiting family. What should I do?
2007-10-16 03:06:27 · 12 answers · asked by Fast C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Based upon what you say here NO do not pay. You could pay if you just wanted to be nice, can afford it and want to but since he wont be your in law i doubt that it makes a difference to you.
A father will feel his daughters pain and watching her cry may invoke his emotions but his actions suggest that either he didnt know how you felt or he just did what his daughter wanted no matter what.
Send Dad a certified letter immediately that requires a signature. He will think it is a check but it will be the letter below:
This letter is a follow up to our conversation on Monday, October 15, 2007.
The demise of the engagement between your daughter and myself is unfortunate. I would like to make a payment plan with you 1/2 of the venue, catering, photography and (list any items specifically so that this is not miscontrued)
To prevent any additional undue financial burden on you or your family I would suggest that you return all gifts that were purchased for a complete or full refund. Your daughter and I discussed the idea of buying gifts; I was opposed to this idea and she asked you for assistance to purchase them items.
I apologize for the inconvenience but I too am struggling with our relationship and what happened.
I thank you for your understanding.
Sincerely,
>>>Hopefully this will help you. He may not like it but that is the extent of what can be done. If he doesnt like it take him to court-judge alex, judy, mathis, moral or peoples court!
2007-10-16 03:39:06 · answer #1 · answered by msijg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pay half of the cancellation charges (with proof like a cheque) and request that the gifts be returned. Write a letter stating that the break up was mutual and your sorry that things did not work out. Keep it simple, to the point and nothing more.
If he is not satisfied then I would just wait and see what he does next. If it means going to court then so be it. Be sure you keep a copy of proof of payment and the letter.
2007-10-16 05:17:54 · answer #2 · answered by trojan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably angry, and sees his daughter in pain. The cancellation expenses should be shared, but gifts are the decision of the gift giver.... not the person getting married. If gifts have been accepted, they should be returned to the giver. If he is angry that he bought gifts that never reached their recipients you have no liability for them. Is there a reason he can't just return them?
2007-10-16 03:22:41 · answer #3 · answered by vaughnc5920 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you called off the wedding, it was probably for good cause, and i'm sure the cancellation goes deeper than what was discussed here, in your question.
Your girlfriend's daughter spent the money because he wanted to, and i'm sure you didn't force him to open his check book. If you want t offer to pay for some things, then do so... otherwise, there is no law that says you have to pay... not that i'm aware of.
sometimes weddings are cancelled. it's life. and when this happens, it's usually best for everyone involved.
take care of YOU.
2007-10-16 03:20:16 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have anything to worry about.
You may be responsible to split the costs of the cancellation charges, but that's all.
What really needs to happen is your ex-stand up and take some responsibility for what is going on. From the sound of things, I guess he doesn't know that it was a mutual decision.
2007-10-16 03:28:08 · answer #5 · answered by jlonva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A gift is a gift. You shouldnt be responsible for paying for them..That is there problem since they insisted the gifts were already bought.
2007-10-16 03:12:21 · answer #6 · answered by bectasy2004 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The would-be father-in-law in responding to you in embarrassment. he's ashamed and wants to blame you...he can't see his daughter didn't want it either...
I would get a lawyer and explain it. I would tell him to charge his daughter too for these "gifts"... She was the other half of the wedding...
GIFT- voluntary transfer of property or money from one person to another... voluntary...whose volition? not yours... sorry dad, you're stuck with the bill.
2007-10-20 01:49:02 · answer #7 · answered by JerZey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Except the bride's dad and mom did not do something fallacious and are caught with the invoice. That's now not correct. Sorry, I'm a organization believer in handiest punishing the responsible, now not the blameless.
2016-09-05 11:20:44 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just lie low for as much as is possible. return the gifts when u can
2007-10-20 03:02:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
http://www.jordanwholesale.net/ is one of my favorite.
2014-05-19 08:19:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋