I was briefly involved in an intense relationship with a man I thought I was in love with. At first he was so kind, attentive and thoughtful. I moved in with him.
Shortly after that I started seeing "the signs"..."Were you really with your daughter? Have you been faithful? You aren't lying to me are you?" etc. Then he started 'picking on me' about stupid things like, "why didn't you notice I cleaned your car?" (5 times in 2 hours) or "You dropped a tissue on the floor, you have no respect"...like YELLING at me for stupid things. (I was faithful and NEVER lied to him!)
Anyway, I became very frightened and moved all my stuff out at 2am one night. It has only been 3 days but he has been leaving me voicemails like, "oh, I didn't know you were a hooker! f*** you!" etc. I am starting to get worried he may do something crazy. Short of going to the police (he hasn't threatened me) what should I do?
We are both 46
2007-10-16 03:03:36 · 25 answers · asked by Bethany I 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If you are that scared go get a restraining order. He's the one being a jacka*s, not you. So after he's served and he calls you, dump him into voice mail. And even if he doesn't leave a message go to the police, if he calls from one of his numbers that is. Or if he calls from a number you don't recognize see if you can't pull a friend in to listen to the conversation so they can say that he in fact called you and said......................
But if you get a call from a number you don't recognize answer it and if it's him hang up and hopefully that'll p*ss him off so he'll call back and then dump him into voice mail and hopefully he'll leave a message. But if he doesn't leave a message just keep answering it and hanging up on him. Eventually he'll cave and leave a message.
xxx
2007-10-16 03:39:39 · answer #1 · answered by Shel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take his threats seriously, but don't let him intimidate you.
Pick up the phone next time he calls & tell him that you've moved on, you're just not interested in anything he has to say & if he calls you even 1 more time, you'll have to follow thru w/an exisiting police report, already on file (if he's employed somewhere, explain that the police will show up there to serve a restraining order). If that doesn't work & he calls again, tell him you gave him a chance but now you've been forced to get the police involved. Then hang up, dial 911 (non-emergency selection) & proceed w/getting a restraining order. If he ever violates that restraining order, he could face jail time & that will help insure your safety. Let him know you'll put up w/absolutley nothing from him-get angry cause you should be.
2007-10-16 03:06:25 · answer #2 · answered by jennie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has been lacking and attention and he expected you to notice everything he did but also make sure you were doing things right. Apart from the part when he called you a hooker , i would say hes just a very possessive and insecure man , who you had the unfortunate pleasure of being mixed with. I would suggest leaving it as it is just now , and then if it gets worse contact the police.
No one deserves to be treated like that ,hopefully he will get the point and move on.
best of luck . hope it works out for you.
2007-10-16 03:09:12 · answer #3 · answered by alex 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but that type only understands the police and the court. Don't try to use logic, it's not there for him. And DON'T blame yourself or go back to him, it will only make him worse. Get a protection from abuse order today, even if you have to miss work to do it, and also tell him that you have notified the police and they are watching him. If this doesn't end it....you have to move or go in hiding. This type won't stop unless afraid of a greater authority or gets a new woman to abuse.
2007-10-16 03:11:33 · answer #4 · answered by healing wings 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through something similar in the past,I ended up calling the police and they did go round to warn him.
I also saw a lawyer and he wrote him a letter saying if he doesn't stop the harrassment he will find himself in court,luckily that did the trick for me.
Ok,he hasn't threatened you as such,but he IS harrassing you,and that alone is against the law.
So if you think he's not going to vanish by ignoring him,go and report him.
He is your ex and he's scaring you now,so don't sit in silence any longer,especially when you don't need to.
This childish idiot needs to be made to realise that his behaviour will not be tolerated any longer,he's 46,not 4 for goodness sake.
2007-10-20 02:10:11 · answer #5 · answered by tinyfeet64 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man has serious problems.Sounds like a guy i lived with for a while,Get a restraining order or at least file a police report on what he is doing to you.Do not get back with him.He has very low self esteem and will take you down with him.It may take a while but do not talk with him unless you give him notice to leave you alone .Watch him ,he may start getting violent,get PROTECTION!
2007-10-16 03:09:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must be firm and strong. The next time he calls you must threaten that you are going to action a court order against him through the Police. THIS IS MENTAL ABUSE and is just as serious as physical abuse. Sorry to preach but be more careful with your relationships next time, it sounds like you rushed into moving in with him. I'm sorry for you and wish you luck, I have experience this too in my past and wouldn't wish it on anyone.
2007-10-16 03:07:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
let someone know that is a freind what is going on . begin to document things / phone calls .
contact an attorney to learn legal options / help map your strategy / determine your risks / options go to police as attorney advises. keep in m ind attorneys have money in their interest ... and ... cops have arrests in mind with little regard for your safety ... you have to filter through it determine what makes sense is worth risk listen to it all and figure out what is best for YOU
investigate where your local womens shelters are at ... you do not have to be homeless to utilize the services and they know a lot about how to protect women .. can coach you. try more than one .. keep reaching / your life is at stake
get yourself in a counselors office / involved in a church
you must heal from this / learn how to avoid these situations in future.
2007-10-16 03:19:47 · answer #8 · answered by Mildred S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't worry about that jerk he sounds like a real A$$H0LE i can't stand guys that try to hit women when i was younger my dad use to hit my mom then when I got bigger it stopped because I told him off so if he is doing any of this too you i would call the cops immediately or get a guy friend to talk some sense into him
2007-10-16 03:08:48 · answer #9 · answered by Tim 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should contact the police - while you really can't make a formal complaint....you can at least be on file so if something does happen they at least have a file...good luck.
2007-10-16 03:14:19 · answer #10 · answered by roxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋