When will it get easier ???

Question

i just left my bf of 8 years , i slept by myself last night and i was so lonley . i wanted to call him so bad but i didnt . When will i stop hurting so much

i am only 23 . been tied down since i was 15. I am scared to be by myself .

Answer 1

Are you kidding? You slept alone once and you think it should already stop hurting? Healing takes time. You must have been hurt before? Give yourself time to heal and time to get used to being alone.

Often people stay together just so that they are not alone. After four years with a girl I did not even want to go home from work. I felt so lonely. It took more than a year, but every day was a little easier than the day before it.

Take care,
Troy

Answer 2

Well, you have to ask yourself and be completely honest... "Why did I leave him?"

If you left for good, the best thing is not to call him. I cannot say, nor can anyone else say how long it will take to move past the pain. You can't get over it, but you can move past the pain of it. Eight dedicated years is a long time and will hurt very much, espeacially if your love was strong.

If you left because of an arguement, prehaps a few days apart will do you both some good, but if there was some abuse involved, I would not go back. But like I said, only you can answer why you left and only you can decide when you will stop hurting. And, no, it is not easy to do at all. But you can decide there is a better way to feel, and do anything you can to make yourself feel better and take your mind off the pain. I can't imagine how hard it was to leave him or how bad you are hurting because I've never walked in your shoes, but I've seen my mom go through it twice. I seen how bad she hurt and I know that only you can relieve the pain, but it takes time and energy.

I'm sorry you are going through this and I truelly hope you will be okay. Good luck!!!

Answer 3

Awwwh I can imagine how sad you are feeling especially after being in such a long relationship, you are bound to feel sad and lonely, you are not used to being alone. You did not mention why it was you both broke up so I can only assume the relationship ran its course and it was time for you and him to move on, either way it is not a happy situation. I commend you for not giving in and calling him, I know that was a hard thing to do. Whenever we miss someone the first thing we want to do is pick up that phone and hear their voice. If the reason for the break up was due to only a disagreement, wait a couple of days and then just call him. If it was for a major reason, then you need to see if the bad out weighs the good, if so then time to let it go. This is the time to be with friends and family to get all the love and support you will need during this difficult time. I hope all goes well for you.

Answer 4

when you get involved with something or someone else to occupy your mind. Since you left him, I would suspect he was the one that did something to make you take that step - cheating on you perhaps? - so make a list of all the bad things about him and tell yourself that you deserve better. Make a lot of friends now, and hang out with friends you have, and don't be in a hurry to get into a new relationship because you are lonely or you may end up being hurt again. concentrate on loving yourself and doing things to make yourself stronger and when you do find the right guy, The love you feel then will be far more than what you feel now Good Luck to you

Answer 5

I had a relationship for three years and went through the same trauma that you are going through. It is true that only time can help mend your wounds but stay positive! It does get better! Make sure you have plenty of friends around you and try and keep your mind occupied on something else, take up a hobby etc. Try your very best to avoid your boyfriend as seeing him will only upset you. A lot of people feel unconfident after a split so concentrate on yourself, make YOU feel better by getting manicure, new haircut and don't be afraid to talk to other men-just seeing another man interested is a massive confidence boost.

The main thing is-keep positive, you know that its going to be a painful journey but keep the ones you love and care about as close to you as possible. Then you'll come out gleaming!!

Good luck and feel free to chat to me at any time.

Answer 6

*hugs* First off, remember why you left him. Whether it was cheating, abuse, drugs, alcohol, whatever... there was a reason why you chose to leave him. Remember that reason.

Second, find your friends. Go out with your friends so that you aren't lonely anymore. Dinners, drinks, clubbing, whatever. Get your mind off of him. He isn't worth your time.

Third, take some time for you before falling into another relationship. It takes time to heal from being hurt, whether it's a broken leg or a broken heart. Focus on yourself and your goals. Be all that you can be.

Remember this scripture: "And it came to pass..." It didn't come to stay. It came to pass. That means that the pain and hurt will go away one day. It may not be soon, but it will eventually pass. Just keep strong and focus on you right now.

Answer 7

I always sleep on the couch after a break up.....feels like there is someone beside me. However, over time it will get easier and you won't feel the void. Life is a series of conditioning's, you were conditioned by your relationship to be used to having someone with you, now you are undergoing a huge change and it isn't easy. I left a husband of 11 years and went through so many rough times....it is normal not to be able to sleep, eat or think straight. I lost weight (went from 105 to 85 lbs), was really tired and thought I was going to go crazy. I would go get into my car and forget where I was going to go....really scary. However over time, every day I would put one foot in front of the next one and do the next right thing....life got really good for me. I learned about Tylenol PM and that made me sleep which helped take care of the mind and hunger issues. I made new friends, went back to school, dated and then fell in love again with the man of my dreams and married him. First things first....as they say.....first you have to mourn the loss of your relationship and then you start moving forward in any direction that you choose. It is true....you can have it all.

Answer 8

I'd say go get some counselling or you may not get over it, it never ceases to amaze me how people break up and yet never realy know why and couldn't care less, like they can't wait to move on to the next one as if that's gonna solve anything except falling into the same trap again and i don't mean love's trap but our own we create cause when your young it's easy to be cavalier about love but as you get on in time you'll realize love 's not like a boxing match where you throw in the towel with the first punch thrown, it's about take and give and realy wanting it to work as you see it's not easy being alone, try being older and suddely you'll find all the excuses for not being together for some reason suddenly seem lame when you see some one elses marriage working just fine. realy try and find out what your strong and weak points are we all have them but in this day and age it seemes it's easier to just blame love or the other person in stead of our selves. sorry for your pain but in time what your going through right now will seem trivial in fact it may seem a little strange as to why you gotten over it and you'll start doubting your self as if you ever realy loved this person in the first place but wory not it's the minds way of not letting you go on touturing your self cause as long as your alive you have to keep living and part of living is feeling and loving so why not take some invetory in the mean time about why things happen that seem to sometimes cause so much pain . . .

good luck to you and hope 4 the best take care . . .

Answer 9

Only time can heal a broken heart. Try to get involved in a new activity or find some new friends so you can help move on. It is hard to forget 8 years but over time you will.

Answer 10

In 10 years when you are happily married and have 2 children and a beautiful house and a new puppy!


What I am getting at is TIME, that is what it will take! No quick way to get over a love!