What to do?

Question

I feel very stupid for reveiling my heart to a bunch of strangers but chances are if we ever run into each we wouldn't know who each other are so hey, im taking a chance here. Okay, i moved out of my mother's house about a month ago with my fiance and his mother since things were too stressful with us, plus my now 4 month old doesn't need to be around all the arguing. Well things have been going relativly fine with the exception of the occasional arguing here and there which is to be expected right? Well to give a little background on each other, he was raised in a rough neighborhood with a mother that was there but had her mind on "other" things so he pretty much had to fend for himself. I had a mother who dropped her whole life for me basically and then spoiled me rotten. Right now is a laid back person with a pretty quick temper but is most sweet as candy. Of course there are certain things that you don't like about your mate but as for me, im quiet, shy, and funloving. (see details

So to put everyting in a nutshell, things seem different between us. We argue about every little thing and it is VERY annoying. We try to talk it out but it seems to only get worse. Is this just what a couple go through when they first move in with each other or what? Oh and we have been together for 3 years. I know I love him very muh without a doubt. I've just never felt this way towards him and its scaring me. Someone please clarify.

just to let everyone here know, when i say that he and i argue it isn't affecting the child since we make the effort not to argue around her. i can still see that she senses the negative energy though and THAT is to be expected. We argue over things like, smart comments said under your breath cause you know it would be a problem if you said it out loud but it just HAD to come out, stupid stuff like, 'Why didn't you do this when I told you to?", and this is a biggy- since i JUST moved in might as well say he always leaves me with his mother when im not all that comfortable with her. But he just HAS to go out. stuff like that

Answer 1

It's usually a set up for disaster when you move in with a boyfriend's family. You didn't say if there is discomfort in that situation, however.

If your boyfriend has anger issues, then maybe it's time to give him the "condition" to work on this issue, and let him know how you feel. You don't have to argue, but approach him and say "I feel ______ when you put me down and get angry with me.... and i'd like it if we could try to change this" Ask him how he feels about it, and what he thinks the two of you can do in order to avoid arguments, and instead discuss problems calmly.

That is a start. You can also ask him to go to therapy (both of you together), to learn better ways to communicate.

Sometimes if we approach someone calmly and tell them how we feel, instead of pointing fingers, it works out better....

You said you love him, so i hope you will get some good answers here, and find solutions to make your lives lots calmer.

Yelling and screaming and fighting never work -- keeping a calm head works better.

take care.

Answer 2

Okay... so you moved in with this dude.... and his mother, which seems weird to me, but okay.... and now you and the dude are fighting and arguing... which was your reason for moving out of your mom's house in the first place. Right?

First of all.......... move out of his mom's house. Talk to your mom... make things right with her.

Second.... find some pride in yourself. Why are you with this "man" who has to have his mommy help support him? Any fool with sperm can make a baby... a real man can make a home for his family. This guy was digging the sex, but now just a HINT of what it'd be like to have to have a baby around 24/7 and he is freaking out on you? Yikes!

Third...... be the best mom you can be. Take a hard look at yourself and the choices you are making. Keep your baby's interests ahead of your own. Make sure that you do right by her first.

Answer 3

It sounds like there's way too much arguing going on. The difficulties of life test a relationship, and it appears that yours simply isn't up to the task. My guess is that you and your fiance will be forever working to get your relationship off the ground, while others around you will be taking flight with apparent ease.

Answer 4

You should be in your own place with your child and fiance. Fighting off and on in your relationship is normal at first but, it shouldn't be all the time. You should seek couples counseling and work through the things that are going on. Communication is very important in any relationship....

Answer 5

It's the growing pains of a relationship.

You got yourself into a mess and got pregnant when you clearly weren't ready. You have a lot of ultra-fast growing up to do.

Answer 6

nit picking is az natural thing that happens to a couple when they first start living with someone but it is better to find out now how they are instead of wait until you are married and then find out

Answer 7

You both need to compromise and if you don't, you will always continue to argue about the same things over and over and over again.

Answer 8

Mend the relationship with your mother!

Get your own place for just you and your fiance and child!

Answer 9

Every couple go through things if you love him and he loves you then work it out but if you think it won't work then you be judge .

Answer 10

...yes, it's to be expected...your mother, how is she w/ the grandchild? ....since she's older it may be harder for her to deal w/ the baby, hmmm