I am writing as I was served with divorce papers last Thursday. This deeply saddens me. More than anything, I want to reconcile our marriage. We have a beautiful baby girl with another due in January. I have fear that I am losing my whole family due to this. This is taking a huge toll on me both spiritually and financially. I want nothing more than to prove to my wife and her family (who is orchestrating much of this), that I am on a good path to finding God and providing a future for us. The papers state that I would need to be present in court by the 23rd of this month. My daughter’s first birthday is today and I’m unable to speak to or see her. And it appears that she is not allowing me any rights to be involved in the pregnancy or birth of our 2nd daughter. I suppose my question is this: Can the courts request mediation or counseling in Texas to see if we can work this out? 6 months, a year…it doesn’t matter. I would just love to have ample time to prove myself to my wife.
2007-10-16 01:31:04 · 11 answers · asked by cjsimmons269 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am going through a divorce right now, and even after the final papers are filed, you still have to wait 60 days. So there is that, but with regards to your children, if she has justification to prove you cannot see your children, then it can happen. I've done it myself, but it's up to you as the father and the man to change that! My ex made grave mistakes, but he's reconciled them with me, and we are dropping some of the charges against him because of it. Express to her personally without lawyers that you are looking for an amicable separation and just want what's best for the children. She should understand that, if not, unfortunately yes you will need to go to mediation, and you may have to get your lawyer to force the issue of visitation.
My best advice to you is this, the state of TX favors the mother in almost every case - so chose your actions carefully! Lashing out, arguing and violence gets you no where but jail possibly. Be kind, be patient, and don't focus on fixing the marriage right now - focus on the kids. The court system while slow and frustrating is not stupid, if you have no history of violence, and show the proper efforts to see your kids, they will give it to you.
Good luck friend.
2007-10-16 01:52:08 · answer #1 · answered by That is all 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most states have a "cooling off" period to give the one filing a chance to think things over. The waiting period is different for each county. When you go to court on the 23rd, tell the judge that you want a chance for reconciliation. As long as she does not have a restraining order (order of protection) filed on you and her safety and that of the children or not in jeopardy, the judge will consider it and may amend the petition for a trial separation.
Get yourself a lawyer because the temporary custody, visitation, placement, child support are also going to be decided either at that hearing or the next and unless you know the legal mumbo jumbo, you could end up walking out with nothing!
My second husband spouted all the time that he was on the righteous path of finding god and doing right. He always said one thing and had so many excuses for why he did the opposite! Please excuse the bad taste in my mouth for reading that line in your post. I say PROVE IT. Actions speak so much louder than words. A woman gets pretty tired of unfulfilled promises!
You need AMPLE time? I would give you one hour. You would amaze yourself what you can accomplish in 60 minutes if you applied yourself to actions instead of wasting precious time coming up with excuses. Just my opinion from past experience.
2007-10-16 09:08:00 · answer #2 · answered by peggy m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear this. It sounds like she is wanting out no matter how hard your trying. Let me just let you know first, don't push yourself to hard if she is already not giving you a chance. Evidently she thinks she can get someone "better" But i don't think she will. At least you are trying. My ex never did.
Anyways. yes a judge can order mediation or counseling.
You need to let the judge know that you do not want this divorce, and are willing to go to counseling. Sometimes they wont even let you get divorced until you are seperated for a certain time to make sure that is what you really want.
2007-10-16 09:35:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the main idea would be to implore your wife for a little more time--and to convince her that you are willing to do anything to make it work. If you've tried counseling in the past, do it again, maybe with a different counselor. Try new strategies they suggest.
Arguing to the court you need more time would just be a temporary fix. To solve the root issues, both of you need to be willing to work on the relationship.
If she is unwilling, don't press -- tell her you want to work with her to make things as good as possible for the children. And back your words up with actions and commitment.
Don't rebound.
2007-10-16 08:57:15 · answer #4 · answered by bob 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A Judge can ask a couple (voluntarily) to see a mediator to try and find alternative ways to save the marriage so divorce isn't necessary. Example: Counseling.
However, if your wife refuses mediation, the courts cannot and will not try to force your wife to stay with you.
If she is determined to get a divorce, it will happen.
2007-10-16 08:57:42 · answer #5 · answered by Chilly Willy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most courts hold divorces six months when there are children involved. This is for the children not for the adults. Maybe there is a chance for reconciliation. That is the reason. After that it is just the time for the courts to get off their asses and make dates for the hearings.
2007-10-16 08:50:51 · answer #6 · answered by TMAC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most states have a seperation time (where you have to be seperated x amount of time before the divorce can be finialized) but it all depends on WHY the divorce is happening. What is the legal reason she is divorceing you? It sounds like you did something to her and that is why she is doing this.
If that is the case then NO there is time period that will be given. If she wants out that is her right. You should have thought all this out BEFORE you did whatever you did to mess up.h
2007-10-16 08:44:53 · answer #7 · answered by Spring 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can certainly request that when you attend the hearing. A judge will probably grant it as the divorce rate in America is soaring. It's refreshing to find someone that's willing to work things out rather than to just disolve something that has taken years to build. Good luck.
2007-10-16 08:35:33 · answer #8 · answered by Kathy R 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she wants out, she has the legal right to get out. You or the courts cannot force her to stay.
2007-10-16 08:34:50 · answer #9 · answered by Mike 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can tell your lawyer what is is you want to do, this is what you are paying them for also ask the judge what you want to do here if you do not have a lawyer, he or she will grant you this.
2007-10-16 09:20:55 · answer #10 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋