How long did it take for your family to get over you being gay?>?

Question

Well yesterday my family found out I was gay. My mom was utterly shocked, she was crying all day long. My dad told me he better never see my face again. My brother wants to kill me. My sister is crying because im not at home anymore, and i feel like my world is crumbling beneath me. How long will it take for them to get over this, what can I do to help myself? :(

Answer 1

My son, (((HUGS))). You need them. Every family is different, unfortunately and we've seen too many families react with violence against their Gay and Lesbian children. Frist you need to help yourself before you can help them. Are you somewheres safe? If you're not, please find yourself some place that is. If you're a minor that would be a friend's home, a relative willing to take you in or even turning yourself over to Children's Services. Just keep yourself safe, please. The streets are no place for anyone, especially with winter coming. You can be seriously hurt.
It'll take your family each their own time to "get over" finding out you're Gay. My Family, once they found out, were very good about it. My Partner's Famil, however, her Mom and Step-Father still have serious issues with it.
Help yourself to help them. Please stay safe.

Answer 2

I am so sorry to hear that they reacted so badly :( , but don't feel like you have done the wrong thing. It takes a lot of bravery to tell people, no matter how accepting you think they will be.

Give them time to settle and then begin to understand and accept - whether they are simply just very stunned or actually really prejudiced will decide how long. Try to talk with them if you can, as this will help them see you are still the same son/brother they know and love.

I'm sorry I don't have much to offer except for my best wishes. My family and friends were pretty good about it, but still took a while to get over it.

Answer 3

You're 16, or so you say. Your parents put you out of the house.

What you do is go to school and talk to the principal, a teacher, your guidance counselor, and tell them you have no roof over your head. They are obligated to do something about it. They will most likely call juvenile advocates who work for the state. This WILL prompt an investigation of your parents household and their parental ability. It is your right and kids do have rights, to have them checked out. No parent, no parent whatsoever would turn their back on a child at 16 over something so petty as sexuality. No parent worth a hoot that is. In the meanwhile you'll wind up in a group home or in a foster home, recieve counseling, guidance, and meanwhile so will the rest of your family. And it will NOT be your fault. They need to take responsibility for their own actions or that responsibility WILL be taken from them by the state.

Answer 4

Aw, sorry kiddo. That must have been hard.

Okay, my experience. I told my twin sister first and she was okay with it. Then she and I told my parents, older brother, and younger sister. My dad punched me in the face and my mom started crying. My other siblings were okay with it though. Then my dad kicked me out of the house for like 5, 6 days.

My mom was accepting of it in about 2 weeks. My dad...he took a couple of months. Even after I moved back in he gave me the cold shoulder alot.

Answer 5

Some people never get over it, but most do eventually. I'm fortunate in that my family was far more accepting than I thought they'd be. (I haven't told everyone; I don't really feel the need.) I never got the chance to tell my mom before she died, being too much of a chicken, but when I told my dad, he was like "Is that supposed to be news?" Apparently my mom told him many years before.

I do, however, have friends who've been in situations similar to yours. I think the best thing for you to do at the moment is to give them all, with the possible exception of your sister, some space to wrap their minds around it. One of my good friends got kicked out by his dad when he was 19 because of it, but his father got over it enough to go to his civil union ceremony 5 years later.

Best of luck.

Answer 6

with regard to the comparable time,for the time of the turn of the century,in case you follow the womens area of the tree in my kinfolk.My super grandfather got here to la from Frisco after the huge one,and that i became into the fourth era to outlive that block in Wilmington Ca,as much as a 365 days in the past,now we're not to any extent further there,yet My kinfolk helped develop city.This became into all in the previous the pre welfare by utilising the way if any physique's gonna argue!!! returned then there have been no hand -outs like on the instant.

Answer 7

keep your distance for a while, give them space and time to adjust. after a time you could give a tentative i how are you? type email or phone call so you can interpret their feelings.
took my parents about a year to full accept. and i live with them and im still in high school.
good luck.

Answer 8

and i thought mine reacted badly. well they did but not as bad as urs. i'm so sorry :(. i told mine on thursday and i got a bad reaction too but not that bad. my family has issues anyway so i havent noticed them talking to me less bcuz they only talk to me about once a year. my dad's side anyway. i hope everything turns out okay for u. if u want to talk u can e-mail me. best of luck.

Answer 9

Oh my god... My parents weren't very happy either but they didn't treat me like that. By the time four months passed, we were perfectly fine. If you're an adult get out of there mate.

Answer 10

it took my dad longer.....but he came around......my mom sort of already new.......so it wasn't that bad for her....as for my brothers ....the oldest one to this day thinks I'm going thou a faze.....and he still try to hook me up with guys he thinks I would like.....and I told them when I was 15.......I'm 22 now.......the other ones are pretty cool with it.......all you can do is give them time.......try not to think about it so much....you did the right thing in telling them......it may not seem like it but you did......sorry.....I know that's not much help....