I met her @ the University when we were both in our first years. I'm 20 & she's 26. We're in our final years now & want 2 get married immediately we graduate.
Is this advisable?
We are deeply in love with each other & she's a stunnin' knockout.
What do you think our parents & other people would say?
What would you say about this situation?
2007-10-16 00:43:10 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's possible, but I think you need to do some serious soul-searching before proceeding with this relationship. Though older women dating and marrying younger men is becoming more common, it is still a bit outside the norm. Otherwise you wouldn't be questioning it or the reaction of others.
What does she see in you and why do you think she is interested in a younger man? Is she wanting to dominate you or mother you? Does she call the shots in the relationship and are you ok with that? Did she have a bad experience with a previous relationship with someone her own age or older? Did you have a bad previous experience with someone your own age or younger? What in particular is drawing you to this relationship? Is there something in your past that makes you crave being taken care of, or being mothered? You still have some personal growth to complete before you reach full mature adulthood and know who you are and what your goals are in life--you will probably be closer to her age now before you really know what you want out of life. You didn't say whether or not she already has children (not unusual for a 26-year-old). If so, is she looking to you as a father/provider for her family?
How will you feel 10, 20, 30 years from now when the age difference may be more apparent? Will you be ready for children before her biological clock runs out? A stunning knockout at 26 may be showing her age in her 40's when you are still in your prime at 30 something--are you ok with that? What does her mom look like? Project even longer down the road--are you willing to take care of her if her health declines?
The fact that you are asking this question indicates that you have some doubts--maybe some of the issues I raised above will help you clarify and work through them. I think you should take your time and not rush into anything. Get some feedback from friends and family you trust, and listen to their opinions and/or concerns. If you still feel the same way when you are mid-20's and she is pushing 30, the age difference won't mean as much, and you will have a better idea whether or not this is "true love that knows no limits" or something else.
2007-10-16 01:03:14 · answer #1 · answered by arklatexrat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is possible.
I met my husband when I was 23 and he was 36. 7 days after we met he asked me to marry him. We the got married 1 year later almost to the day. That was 5 years ago and we couldn't be happier!
Two things in your question raise "Red Flags" for me:
1. Why "immediately?"
(You seem to have a sense of urgency about getting married and that's something one should never rush into. You might want to look at all the reasons that you two want to get married vs. your ability to support and handle a marriage. There is nothing wrong with waiting for "the right" or "a better" time.)
2. "What do you think our parents & other people would say?"
(If you are asking out of respect - then I understand. But, if you get wrapped up in "freaking out" about what family and others say, and you let that dictate YOUR life and how YOU live it, then that might be a sign your not mature enough to handle a marriage. Above all your family should love and respect you no matter what you choose in life."
2007-10-16 08:06:36 · answer #2 · answered by pinkandblack2662 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good to think about how your actions can affect others, but there are areas where others are not to be considered.
You two are adults, and getting married to each other, will result in you two spending the rest of your lives together, being together 24/7. So, basically, your question should be, how well are you prepared for that? Is this the person you want to grow old with? Are you prepared to sacrifice going out with the lads and do what boys your age do? etc...
Once it's clear to both of you that you want the same thing and know each other enough to tie the nkot and are sure that you are compatible, Gosh, Go for it!!!
You should only inform your parents; Not ask them.
That's what adults do!
Good luck.xxx
2007-10-16 08:23:01 · answer #3 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who cares what others will say. dont live your life by what others want you to do. they have or are living their life so you need to live yours. you are to young to marry at this point. get out of school. find a job get some years of being responsible and just being on your own under your belt. you and her should date for a while get to know each other. you meet her family and she met your family. you both need to establish yourselves career wise right now. but marry a few years later. GodBless
2007-10-16 08:08:40 · answer #4 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 5 yrs older than my husband. It was weird at first for me when we first started dating. no one else had a problem with it. we have been together 7 years so far and everything is going great! Its not even an issue,now.
2007-10-16 10:26:19 · answer #5 · answered by jon jon's girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Parents might say too early to decide getting married before getting careers or getting yourselves established in it, but if you two are finding each other as Mr/Ms Right, you don't need to care about what other people say about you.
2007-10-16 07:50:42 · answer #6 · answered by Save me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is absolutely none of nobody else's business. If you love her, six years is nothing. It only became a problem with me and my ex when he reached middle age and went through that "crisis" that men do when they hit middle age and decided that he wanted kids! At the ages of you and your g/f this should not be a problem as she is still in her childbearing years, which I was not.
Good luck.
2007-10-16 08:59:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sure is possible!
Just make sure that you're not
just in it cause "she's a stunnin' knockout".
After you get married, there are bills to
pay, clothes to wash, toilets to clean.
"Stunnin' knockout" will have her
"un~stunnin'" days. That's where
the true test is.
2007-10-16 07:50:52 · answer #8 · answered by ANewLife 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am living proof, I am 31, my hubby is 5 years (6 years for half of the year) younger than me, we are very happy together.
2007-10-16 08:44:43 · answer #9 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is six years older than me, my dad didnt like him lol (thought he was taking advantage of me because of my age even though i was an adult when we met) but other than that there was no big deal. There is a gap in maturity from time to time though
2007-10-16 07:54:36 · answer #10 · answered by sarah W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋