He moved out almost 3 months ago, he is not the same man I married. He is 52 and we have been married 19 years. Anger and abusive words are all I see. yet he will not talk or communicate with me.
2007-10-15 23:52:23 · 8 answers · asked by mary p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm sorry to hear that. Please take care of yourself- your health, etc. Reach out to friends, family, church, counselor, etc. You need the support- don't go through this alone. You should also see a lawyer about what you need to do.
Best wishes to you.
2007-10-16 00:00:57 · answer #1 · answered by Ron L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds discontented. It's not actually with you but he hasn't realised yet that it's inside him. He's maybe been working all his life and now finds his life hasn't got a lot of meaning or direction. He probably hasn't achieved things that he thought he would by now. He maybe hasn't got a lot of friends besides work people.
He's got it into his head that he's been missing out because of you ...the last time he had the freedom to take risks and make his own decisions was before you were married so he thinks the loss of freedom is your fault without realising he's gained a family that love him and a home
The fact that he's being secretive suggests he knows he's doing the wrong thing and can't bear to be criticised or judged. If he keeps it secret he can be in denial about this enormous decision he's making for both of you
I wouldn't expect him to be the same man you married ...he should have grown in knowledge, ability and experience in the last 19 years ...but I know what you mean, he wasn't an angry abusive man when you married
He seems to be the one making the decisions right now. If I were you I would use this hiatus to seize back some of the individuality that you might have lost in the last 19 years ...maybe by learning new things, doing courses, seeing plays, taking up new challenges both physical and mental. Make your focus 'out there' rather than on his strange cold behaviour.
If he recovers his happiness and comes back to you, he will do it in his own time. Don't waste the meantime just waiting ...fill it with your own life
Whether you get back together or begin your own future, I hope you find some happiness and peace soon (c;
2007-10-16 08:10:54 · answer #2 · answered by redleaf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He obviously moved out for a reason...If he's been abusive and angry for the majority of your marriage, then I can't imagine that change, now.
He takes no concern for your feelings and doesn't tell you the truth. Do you really think he'll change? Do you think his behavior is worth living with?
These are questions you have to ask yourself.
Your life shouldn't have to be wasted worrying and stressing over a person who isn't showing respect in the marriage.
2007-10-16 07:45:42 · answer #3 · answered by darkening_hope 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's really sad to hear after 19 years of marriage.Perhaps you should appear indifferent if everything else has failed.If he thinks your interest is waning,or alternatively, if he thinks someone else is interested in you, he just might buck up his ideas.Good luck x
2007-10-16 06:57:55 · answer #4 · answered by ruth e 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is gone. It is no longer any of your business what he does. It is over. Get it!! He does not want you in his life anymore. Move on and make a new life for yourself before you let him waste any more of your life. You are not getting any younger.
2007-10-16 06:56:34 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
divorce him, get child support and alimony, get the house, get the car, get everything you can... he does not care about you... wake up and smell the coffee and move on =) good luck!
2007-10-16 06:57:23 · answer #6 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to talk him and insist in a good way, listen good and promise him to change if it will be good for u both.
change things in u
good luck
2007-10-16 07:02:20 · answer #7 · answered by michael 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's moved on, and he
doesn't have the b@lls to tell you.
2007-10-16 06:56:46 · answer #8 · answered by ANewLife 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋