My husbands said his feelings are changing becasue of the contant arguing over my kids, his losing his job, and him always at his mothers house. We have only been married 16 months and have been going at it almost every other wekkend since we have been married, and now the arguing is coming more often than not, I do love him, and he says he loves me, but not like he use to. While i"m at work he is at his mothers with his non-working cousin playing PS3 allday instead of being at home. He takes his mom and son to work/school in the mornings, and returns back to her house when he drops them off, and he goes back there when he picks them up after work/school, and on sundays he gets up early and takes them to church, and depending on if his mother has something to do he comes back soon after. I feel that my marriage is over what do you guys think?
2007-10-15 21:27:43 · 11 answers · asked by msblkbtrfly69 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
u don't have a husband. u have and older son.
2007-10-15 21:31:53 · answer #1 · answered by Max 77 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Over? Nah, but you both need to do some work together to get things right again. Work on resolving the issues that cause you to fight. The kids are probably always going to cause arguments, so set some boundraries there and try to work out positive ways of dealing with the stresses of having children. His job? Well, why isn't he looking for a new one? It's okay for him to take some time off after losing a job, if you two are financially able to do this, but suggest to him that it's time he start contributing either financially or in the home instead of playing xbox all day. Ask him to do some chores, cook meals, grocery shop etc. until he finds another job. If he is unwilling to work on being part of a happy marriage, then yes your marriage is over, but only because he is not a cooperative partner. You two may also benefit from marital counselling.
2007-10-15 21:33:52 · answer #2 · answered by some female 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like it is, but then again nothing is going to be resolved by him being over his mothers house all the time, seems he is under a lot stress from losing a job, and now having to worry about finding another... if your arguing a lot fighting over the little stuff is not good its the serious issues that need to resolved.... if your both willing to work at it go to marriage counseling
2007-10-15 22:24:34 · answer #3 · answered by Renee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though your mother in law is under control.. She is a woman and should know that this situation is bothering you.. Marriage is not a game you've only been married 16 months and people go through hard ship. Don't give up straight away. Sit your husband down and have a serious discussion. Make sure he speaks his feelings as well.
and make sure that he stays away from his own family for a long time. Me and my husband went through hell believe me we've been in a (almost 8 year) relationship. Its not easy and try to make it work.. I really hope everything works out for you
2007-10-15 21:41:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is in denial and is avoiding his responsibilities to you and your family. This has more to do with his own personal feelings about himself than it does about you. He is avoiding his problems by living in a fantasy world (video games) and doing menial tasks (driving people to work/school) instead of getting a job.
His feelings for you haven't changed, but they don't seem as strong to him as the constant self-loathing and sense of hopelessness he is no doubt feeling.
The first thing he needs to do is get a job, and feel as though he is providing something substantial to your relationship and family. Until he gets over himself, he won't be able to love or be loved.
2007-10-15 21:35:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Seems busted to be. He's gone. The kids are no longer dependent on a single household. I say move on before its too late. Then again, i've never loved anyone enough to marry them.
2007-10-15 21:31:26 · answer #6 · answered by buckeyefan1191 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Too much mother is involved here.If he wanted to be with his mother that much,why did he get married?Try to be independed.Don't say anything.When he is gone you do your own stuff.Go to the mall,do some shopping,hang out with your girlfriends............whatever is fun for you.see if he cares and asks where were you?If not,just leave.He is not interested in you.
2007-10-15 22:11:04 · answer #7 · answered by avavu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL HE COULD BE LOOKING FOR A JOB INSTEAD OF PLAYING GAMES ALL DAY. AT LEAST BE AT HOME CLEANING OR DOING SOMETHING THAT YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO DO WHEN YOU GET OFF OF WORK LATER ON. TALK WITH HIM LAY EVERYTHING ON THE TABLE AND LET HIM KNOW THAT A DIVORCE IS IN YOUR MIND. DON'T STAY TOGETHER BECAUSE OF KIDS, IT WILL ONLY MAKE IT WORSE FOR THEM TO BE AROUND ALL THE YELLING/VIOLENCE. IF YOUR NOT HAPPY THEN SOMETHING HAS GOT TO CHANGE. DON'T BE MISERABLE OVER IT, IF HE REALLY LOVED YOU HE WOULD REALIZE THIS.....
2007-10-15 21:35:01 · answer #8 · answered by Jenn S 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I hate to say it, but if your husband says his feelings are changing due to 16 months of argueing every other weekend then it's time for YOU to end this! Why would you want a (so-called) man that sits at his Mommy's house all day playing video games anyways??? I don't even consider that a man...period!! It's time you start loving yourself enough to recognize you deserve better than what this man is capable of giving you. Try seeing a professional in regards to your co-dependency issues. One of these days when you least expect it...a REAL Man will come into your life and love you through thick & thin, in sickness & in health til death do you part....like your Husband is suppose to!! Time to stop settling for anything less...good luck girl!!
2007-10-15 21:43:33 · answer #9 · answered by Mrs. Torres 2 · 0⤊ 4⤋
sounds like he is cheating onyou and using his mom to cover it up my opion?
2007-10-15 21:31:50 · answer #10 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋