my friends got married on June 2005.She married with the man she really love.We're friends since we're kid.But a weeks ago she found out her husband dark secret.Her husband have a child with other women.She is really out of control now.She even tried to kill her self.She have a baby.only 8 month little boy.Please advise..
2007-10-15 20:49:48 · 8 answers · asked by jr smith 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Learning the truth is very hard and accepting it is even harder, but we have to figure out the best solution for situation like this especially when it involves children.
We've got to know first if she learned it from another person or was it the husband who admitted her about this, because these two are different things.If the husband admits, then maybe he really loves your friend and delaying the revelation was just a way to assure that he never lost her. Although he should admitted it beforehand, but sometimes we have to delay sensitive issues like this under some circumstances and discussed them with our partner when the appropriate time comes. Another is that, maybe that child was born from a woman who's part of his past and they don't have any affair now, otherwise he would'nt marry your friend in the first place, right. But ofcourse, he should'nt neglect the child either so he have to tell your friend about him/her in the long run.
So better tell your friend look at it the other way around, she's the one with him now and they have a lovable,huggable baby boy to look forward to; not unless the husband is still doing some wacky things.
2007-10-15 21:45:29 · answer #1 · answered by wizzy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all understand why she would be very upset. She has lost the trust in her husband, but that is no reason to want to cause hurt to her self, his past has nothing to do with her and she cant blame her self for her husband dishonesty. She is a mother now and cant and should not put any thing before or between her child. She needs to decided if she has it in her to forgive and forget, if she is not able to then she needs to move out and move on in her life and give life to her child. If she is in a state of not being able to make a decision, then take all the time she needs and if she is truly that unstable, her child need not be around her, she shouldnt be allow to see or feel or hear her mom in the state she is in. We at all times need to protect children, so as a friend, do the right thing.
2007-10-15 21:01:02 · answer #2 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand the broken heart behind the lies and secrets. Harming oneself never solves the issue at hand , her 8 mth old child. She needs to focus on her childs well being.Who is going to take care of that child.
She has a no good for nothing man , not a husband. She is better off without him .But thats not my decision but she needs to decide if she wants the marriage. Does he want the marriage also. She needs some serious counseling to get herself on track first of all and do alot of soul searching.
2007-10-16 06:53:17 · answer #3 · answered by Thunder 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to get over it and be a women and take care of her baby or if she really wants to kill herself tell her that her husband will still go on with his life. and that to at least give her baby to a good home before she kills her self. tell her I'll take the baby for her. I'm getting into foster care and this is no joke you have written. i pray this is not true. but if it is. she needs help. there is a hot line for stuff like this just call operator and say emergency and or call 211 they will help you.
2007-10-15 21:28:46 · answer #4 · answered by dounut 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trying to kill herself will not solve anything. She was selfish in doing that considering she has a baby to think about. She can either leave her husband and heal herself or she can stay in her lying marriage. Her choice.
2007-10-15 21:04:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This situation needs serious, professional help & guidance.
You need to get them both to counselling, either together or separately if that's what it takes. http://www.relate.org.uk/ is the best place to start.
2007-10-15 21:03:30 · answer #6 · answered by gsp100677 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is suicidal she needs proper help, more than I can offer here, she needs to see a proper counsellor to help her through this trauma.
2007-10-16 02:05:12 · answer #7 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why hurt her self leave that jerk and find a man who loves her not one like him my opion?
2007-10-15 21:01:36 · answer #8 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋