My boyfriend and I have been together on and off for over 4 years now. His family really interfere in our relationship all the time. They are the reason we have broken up. We just got back together in November and he said his family would not be an issue anymore. We were determined to make things work and finally have the relationship we wanted. We were even talking about getting married. We had a baby together a month ago and I thought finally things were going good for us. I was wrong. He's a great man, treats me so good, works hard and supports me and the baby. He's also a great father. But the thing is he's hardly around. He's always too busy fixing his family's problems and basically supporting his mom. He hardly spends time with his son and I just can't handle it anymore. I just don't think I can be with him anymore. I mean why be with a guy who is too busy taking care of his family, when they are perfectly capable of caring for themselves, rather than take care of his son?
2007-10-15 20:38:10 · 4 answers · asked by jewelz1021 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
All of my family is in California so I don't anyone here and I have suggested moving but he says he can't abandon his mom. She raised 5 kids on her own and I imagine that was difficult but don't we let our kids make their own lives once they become adults? He feels he owes her for everything she did for him and his siblings. She makes sure he feels guilty about it too. Out of all his siblings he is the one that cannot live his own life. She tried controlling her other kids but they don't allow it. They set bounderies. He just doesn't.
2007-10-16 14:45:06 · update #1
MOVE, thats rite MOVE!!!! If you 2 will do anything to have a life together, then move a few hundred miles away!! This will stop his being taien advantage of by them, and the 3 of you will be the focal point of your lides!!! I did this 32 years ago, to get away from both sides of the family!!! They were mad, but got over it!!
2007-10-16 07:11:43 · answer #1 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you this is like De Ja Vu for me. My mother married my father (Obviously) and he's also like your bf, hard working, caring, but he's also tied to his family. What my mother has learned to do is cherish everytime you have together. Maybe if you can talk him into it, have sunday off and go to a local park, or go somewhere fun with your son. My mother has been married to dad for over 15 yrs, and boy have his family interfered ...e.g.: spreading lies about my mother to people, asking for money when they are WELL off and other things. Mum's stuck by this side and tried to work things out with him. Tell him, if you don't spend enough time with YOUR family, the family YOU started on your own, then there's no point in keeping it anymore if you keep worrying about other people. Tell him the time you have together may not be long and cherish everybit.
Hope this helps and GOOD LUCK!
2007-10-16 04:54:46 · answer #2 · answered by kimmygoldenangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him an ultimatum,his behaviour is totally unacceptable. tell him either he puts you and his boy 1st or ur out of there,and make sure u mean it. remember the saying, ur sons ur son til he finds a wife but a daughters a daughter all of her life! his mom sounds like a rite old witch,she should b encouraging him to spend time with his son! good luck and best wishes,really hope u get it sorted x
2007-10-16 04:45:21 · answer #3 · answered by janey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to break up and get away from this family. You say he supports you and the baby. If you can take care of yourself, then do it. If you need his support, then you may have to put up with this problem,
2007-10-16 03:56:35 · answer #4 · answered by older is wiser 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋