get it on with you and makes passes at you and tries to grab at you, would you tell her? I've told him to stop, but since we socialize together (with my husband) he always seems to seek me out. Other people have commented on the way he looks at me. His wife is sooo in love with him and although they have problems with their marriage, she worships the ground he walks on and wants to keep the marriage together. My husband, on the other hand sees nothing wrong with it and encourages his "buddy" to grab me.
2007-10-15 20:08:30 · 22 answers · asked by Azul 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like the men want a little group action, just don't have the nerve to ask. I would confront the men together and ask them what they expect. They will either tell you or maybe they will back off.
2007-10-15 20:16:52 · answer #1 · answered by whatshisface 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It seems there's something wrong with both relation ships.And you could ask yourself if you want to be in trouble,cause that's what the future 's going to bring when you go on with this.Don't look at your husband if he's going along with it because it might be that is doing so to test your loyalty to him.Decide for yourself ,because he's encourages you to step in to problems .Maybe he wants to get rid of you and his buddy knows this and is helping him to give him an opportunity to get a divorce.When his buddy's wife is a good friend of you than it is good to discuss this with her.When she's not ,get angry with your husband because when you have a good relationship he shouldn't encourage you to do so ,it's just not that what a good husband should do.On the other hand ,If you want a divorce then this is the way to go.besides that i should reconsider your marriage anyway :is your husband some kind of pervert?Or his buddy?remember this:some men have a buddy for life ,instead of a wife ,in that case get out of there.It's good that you see a problem in this in this stage because i presume nothing serious happened until now , but going on with this situation will surely bring severe problems that will damage some people,in this case probably you and your husband,s buddy's wife.think twice!
2007-10-16 09:19:42 · answer #2 · answered by mysterion 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's time to make it absolutely clear to your husband that you will no longer attend any function where these friends are together until he tells his male friend that you are off-limits, and there is no discussion. This is what is referred to as sexual harassment if it's not wanted by you. It's fine to ask once, but once the request has been refused, then that ends the discussion.
Not to incur the wrath of your friend, find time to get with her during the day, when the hubby's are at work. Let her know you're still a good friend, but are uncomfortable around her husband, and that you don't intend to place either he or yourself in a situation that might be untenable. The guys think it's all in fun, but it sounds obvious to us, that you're not getting any "fun" from this overt sex-play. So it's up to you to stop it! Let your hubby know that it will go no further. You're NOT interested! Until the teasing/ grabbing/ fondling stops, . . . you will not be attending ANY social function where he's going to be at! You do not feel comfortable about this kind of sex-play, and he needs to tell his buddy to stop RIGHT NOW!
If you don't, legally there is a precedence established that you were ok with it. So if it goes further, . . . it's only going to get worse. It's your responsibility to make it known that these advances are unwanted in no-uncertain-terms! Be firm. otherwise, it's only going to get worse and then it gets ugly!
Dave
2007-10-16 03:27:13 · answer #3 · answered by doozers2_39 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, there is something wrong with YOUR husband!!! What kind of a married man would allow another man to grope his wife?!? I'm sorry if that sounded harsh, but it's the facts!
I probably would not tell your friend about it. It sounds like it would completely crush her. I would either avoid hanging out with the guy and try to do more "girl" time, or I would explain my feelings up front and honest. Does it bother you? If it doesn't then what's the problem, other than you wouldn't be a good friend to your girlfriend... and if it is... then you need to speak up and say something. Whether it's mean or not.
Sorry you're stuck in that crappy situation. I really do hope things work out!!!
2007-10-16 03:15:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yeah....really...that is completely disrespectful. As the protector, your husband needs to man up and guard your BODY, soul, and spirit. And he is not doing any of that because your body is being grabbed, you're obviously thinking about this a whole lot, and it definitely seems to make you uneasy. I think you need to tell your good friend about this in a way that she can understand. Think of how worse it'll get if you let it go on. What if he is still doing this same thing 2 or 3 years from now??
2007-10-16 03:49:55 · answer #5 · answered by jtuniquepsyche 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know you have yourself in a pretty hard situation. Pending on how close you are with your friend. I know that I have a bunch of best friends and there are only one of them that I know that I inform if something is going on with her husband. On the other hand I couldn't ever tell my other friends. It is really hard because you don't want to disrupt something and then feel guilty for their marriage splitting up. Tell your friends husband that the next time that he touches you in appropriately then you are going to tell his wife. And, the thing with your husband. IT shows that he doesn't respect you as his friend or wife. He needs to grow up and see what he has before it is to late. Good luck Hun and god bless.
2007-10-16 03:28:16 · answer #6 · answered by dennis_belk 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One thing is for sure: he has already told his wife all the bad things he could possibly think of about you and that you are the one that is hitting on him. If he hasn't yet, he definitely will in the future to cover his butt. Be tough with him, tell him to "F**k off" and mean it. Spill the glass of whatever you drinking in his face in front of everybody if he doesn't get the message. Your are not your husband's property and you are not his "buddy"'s property either. It is YOUR body, and if somebody tries to grab it against your will, kick their a*ss right there, in front of everybody. This will make them to learn the lesson good, big time.
2007-10-16 03:23:46 · answer #7 · answered by OC 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, you could always make a scene during one of your get togethers, that way it would make it clear to him and tell her at the same time. Not the best solution, I know, but it would get you out of the uncomfortable talk with your friend since she may turn on you and say that you were flirting with him. Don't lose a friend over a sleaze.
2007-10-16 03:22:47 · answer #8 · answered by JoeNJulia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is being a total jerk about the whole situation. Egging his friend on to grab you, they are not in high school now, tell them to grow up!
Let this "buddy" of your husband's know that you are going to tell his wife and then tell her in front of both your husband and him, but also tell her your husband is encouraging her husband.
2007-10-16 03:20:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
wow!!! slap the **** out of your husband then tell this other a$$h*& that if he makes a move on you or anything else again your gonna tell his wife, if thats not enought to make him stop then tell his wife because who knows what else he's doing out there... and if your friend gets upset and you end up the "bad guy" well at least you told her and you dont have to deal with that ******** anymore
2007-10-16 03:37:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋