got a married woman pregnant? help please?

Question

i have been having an affair with a married woman-i know this was stupid but it happened- now she tells me she is pregnant. she tells me it has to be mine because of the dates her doctor gave her, and that her husband was away those 2 weeks. she tells me she is going to have the baby, and tell her husband that it is his, and keep me out of the picture. i want nothing to do with the child and this is fine with her. i resemble her huisband physically , but i am 2 inches taller and far more muscular. we have the same eye and hair color. should i just disappear, or try to convince her to either tell her husband or think about abortion? i am going to post a lot to get the most opinions. i am ready to just disappear, its ok with me. do you think her husband will not know? women what would you do in this situation?

Answer 1

Forget about her and her husband, start thinking about yourself, you are still legally liable for the baby which is not even mentioning the fact that you are going to ignore you offspring. She had an affair once, if you manage to disappear and her marriage ends, she is very likely to come after you for child support. If she is not willing to abort the baby, I would insist that she come clean with her husband. If she waits 10 years to tell her husband, it is possible that you could be liable for 10 years of back child support depending upon the state in which you live.

Answer 2

WOW. It 'just happened' like you had no control over it.? Please don't consider an abortion. You already did the act that created the child, the only thing you can do worse now is deny it from living it's life. I know that is controversial, but that's how I feel. My Mom found herself in the same situation and I am so greatful they didn't abort the baby because I have the best little sister who has truely blessed our lives. I couldn't imagine life without her. Anyway, This sounds like something that is going to drive you crazy until you resolve it. If that's the case, the sooner you do something, the sooner you'll feel better. Also, she is the one who is married. Obviously that marriage isn't great and keeping a lie like that will eat at her forever, making her miserable and irritable and in turn, her marriage even worse. No matter what, if she sticks with her family or if she leaves, her and her family will be miserable until she comes clean and begins to work things out. Frankly, if I was the husband, I'd rather someone tell me than to be fooled like that.

Answer 3

Your lady friend needs to tell her husband the truth and stop lying. What kind of person would allow a man to raise a child that was not his all along believing in his heart that was his flesh and blood? He would grow to love the child, then be devestated later when he found out the truth. And he WILL find out. Someone will tell him. What if the child gets sick and needs a trasfusion or something and the blood types don't match? He will find out one way or another, believe me.

You need to be a man instead of running away from your responsibilites. If she does not tell him the truth you need to tell him yourself, whether you stay with her or not. My next question is to you: how is it so EASY for you to abandon your own creation? This child is your flesh and blood! WAKE UP! How is the kid going to feel when he finds out his dad is a loser, a quitter, a runner, when it comes to real responsibility??!! You need to take responsibilty for your actions and at the very LEAST pay child support to insure that your child has all of his needs met even if you don't give a s-hit whether he lives or dies.

As far as abortion goes, are you willing to murder your own son or daughter because you cannot and will not take responsibilty for your own actions? What happens when you get another woman pregnant? Are you going to talk her into killing that child, too?

I am not trying to make you mad or piss you off. REALITY can sometimes be like a cold slap in the face.

The best possible senario is for her husband to forgive her and legally adopt the child since you have shown that you do not want the child. However, she needs to get control of herself and realize that she is throwing her marriage away for a thrill ride with you and from the looks of it, you are not worth it!

Answer 4

Well it depends how much she still cares for him, seeming she is having affairs it seems that she may not be very "into" the marriage, if thats the case she should tell the truth about the affair. Otherwise she might be having a lack in the sex department with him, so tell her to confront him about that.
But the worst thing you can do is pretend its his. Its just not fair to him if he ever found out (better to know sooner than later). But she has to tell him, but tell her to explain to him why, and to try to work out how to fix it. It isn't good to have a marriage built around lies. Its not worth it.

But she should abort. Try to get her to work out why she had an affair, even if she doesn't say anything about the baby she can at the least work out her issues with her husband.

Answer 5

I guess if you really don't want to know if the child is yours, and if you really think she won't come back into your life later on demanding child support, then go ahead and just disappear if that's what you want to do. I just don't think it's going to be that simple, to be honest with you. What if she and her husband split up, and somewhere down the line when that child is older she decides she wants you to start paying child support and demands a paternity test? What if now seven-year-old Johnny finds out he has a different daddy and wants to know who he is and wants to be part of your life? How are you going to deal with this then? Wouldn't it be better for you all if you faced the reality of your situation right now? It'll be much harder later...the truth ALWAYS comes out sooner or later, and in this case, sooner is better. It might be better for you, for the child, if you find out now who the father really is...it might not be you who is the father after all, but if it is, it might be in your (and the child's) best interest to know for sure.

Answer 6

Well, for you, it it hard to just disappear, the true is still you are the father of the baby. But to her, it does not matter at all? But what if her husband found out the truth later? but decision still up to her, but still both of you have to be responsible for the act. But does she love you or? now that she wants you to disappear, so what do she want actually? Do not hurt the unborn child. take care.

Answer 7

I think that if you dont want anything to do with the baby then just dissapear. I wouldnt be surprised if she tells him out of guilt anyway but if she said its ok for you not to be involved then get out quick. Its a bit sad considering that child will never no the truth. I doubt her husband will think the baby isnt his unless he already suspects something now. I feel sorry for her husband and that child as the truth always comes out and if it comes out well after that baby is there then her husband will be gutted and that poor kid.

Answer 8

Yes, go away! The farther the better! The least you can do is disappear and leave them alone now. You have done all the damage you need to. And now there is a child involved you should never interfere again......... Wait a minute are you sure she isn't lying to you? Some women just love drama and create it when they are bored. I mean you should know her is that a possibility? Just the same you should LEAVE ON THE NEXT WIND!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

First off, I would not have been messing around with you in the first place. Read what you wrote very carefully; she already made up her mind in the matter. You also have made up your mind as you stated in the post.
Read between the lines and I cannot put this nicely, she doesn't give a damn about her marriage and or you. You don't give a damn about her, except for what she gave you.
Yes, by all means go on with your life. What she does with her life now is no concern of yours and why weren't any of you using birth control; I do meant both of you.
What is done is done. Just be more careful next time.

Answer 10

I don't wanna get involve whatever you both decided on your forbidden relationship. But my only concern right now is do keep that baby alive, strong & healthy. Give that baby nice future especially you. Share in the baby's whatever expenses. Make sure of the baby's education. Keep that baby reach and finish college. Stop that forbidden affair. But hold on to the baby's good future.