How can u tell if someone wants to be your friend or is just being nice?

Question

Im not great at makng friends and i have been talking since aug with this guy in work (who has a gf) anyway how can i tell if he wants to be my friend or is being nice. He invited me to lunch the once so i returned the favour which he accepted. He invited me to look at his new flat which i did. The thing is he isnt great on contact. As i dont see him a great deal as we work in diff departments i email him now and again but alot of the time its me contacting him. He sounds happy enough to talk and seems interested. He has emailed me first once/twice to see if im alright but i wish he would contact me a bit more or ask me to lunch again without me asking him. I know its probs his way. I emailed him on friday bout something and he didnt reply but did come down to my department and asked for me to appologise for not replying which was nice as otherwise i wouldve thought he was funny

Answer 1

he has a girlfriend, so his priority will lie there, a friend does not have to be at your beck and call all the time, just chill out, maybe he thinks you are a bit heavy or expecting more than a friendship, or maybe the girlfriend found out and doesnt like you around her man

Answer 2

The fact that he's accommodated you more than twice, is fair & square enough for you cuz he's got a girlfriend already. He's being nice makes him a good friend indeed. Not unless you want something more than friendship. Think again. If you were his girlfriend, would you like your boyfriend to be fond of seeing someone from work? Only you know what you want. Be fair & proper.

Answer 3

Don't call him, don't text him. Don't do anything. Be busy with your work and develop a hobby. Improve on your confidence and self-esteem. Continue what you are doing before you met him. If there is something between the two of you, the passage of time will decide.

Answer 4

hey chinwag,
he is just trying to be nice wit u and try to impress u , just to buid another contact
Be straight and express frankly
Dont mind these kind of contacts coz thy r temporary and not being true. will look good initially later on when u need a real fren he ll not be there wit u

Answer 5

It sounds to me like he wants to be a friend but, because of his girlfriend maybe, he is limited to just being nice. Most girlfriends are not keen on their boyfriends having female friends because it so often leads to trouble one way or another.

Answer 6

I suppose if he were a cat he would rub his tail against you and then pehaps give you a licking.
That would mean he'd really care about you.
Has he done anything like that yet?
If not you'll just have to wait for the signs.

Answer 7

Sure, sounds like he wants to be your friend, if he isn't already. If you want him to invite you to lunch, try and give him a hint, or get his mind onto it. Like saying "Almost lunch, I wonder what I should get to eat", and he might ask you to join him. But most of all, give it time.

Answer 8

the way he's acting is fine. he invited you to lunch as a friend. but if he keeps doing it, he's looking for more than a friend. it sounds like what you are wanting from him, is for him to be single.

Answer 9

what up? you may be developing feelings for this guy. UN aware. watch out. don't forget he has someone in his life.
there are limits as far as what he can say,do,or go with you.
i think he is just a good, kind and considerate friend don't blow it by letting your feelings get in the mix. good luck.

lucky

Answer 10

Let him know its nice to see him and that you're glad he's your friend. Otherwise he'll get the wrong idea. Freud was right, Plato was wrong.