I went home early one day and found her in bed with another man.I said nothing and turned around and walked out. The next day I went and moved all my stuff out and moved back in with my mother.She called me and said this was the only time it ever happened.He is my ex boyfriend and I wanted to make sure that I didn't love him any more.She wants me to move back in; what should I do?
2007-10-15 18:21:02 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Doesn't matter who he was, why she did it or how many times, betrayal is betrayal and you have been betrayed. What you should do is what you want to do in your heart. Do you love her enough to forgive her? Can you live without trust because you will never trust her again, (believe me - I have personal experience). If you answered yes to those questions, then move back in and try to rebuild your marriage. Sometimes people give up on marriage too easily. Sometimes a marriage is worth fighting for but only you can decide if your is. Good luck to you.
2007-10-15 18:32:43 · answer #1 · answered by Ellen L 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe that WAS her ex, and maybe she WAS trying make sure that she didn't love him anymore. Maybe it was the only thim it's happened, and maybe she DOES think it's a one-time thing.
Maybe she should have thought about that BEFORE she married you, and before she brought someone else into your bed.
Her excuse is weak...and I personally could not accept it and give her another chance. If you want to keep trying though, be careful, and realize this is going to be a long battle.
Why doesn't she work? Tell her to get a job, unless there is something physically barring her from doing so. Perhaps, if you can afford it, you shouldn't move back in right away - stay somewhere else and talk over the phone. Give yourself time to think away from her (and her, of course, doing everything to try to convince you that you need to stay)...and make sure you're doing the right thing.
Make sure that she's aware that you don't know if you'll be able to trust her again. If it is necessary to move back in for whatever reason, keep your guard up, and decide whether or not you'll sleep in the same bed as her for the time being. Destroy the bedding and get new - it'll help you mentally. Make sure she sees you do it - she'll never forget seeing you do it, and her guilt will resonate with her for a long time.
Since I don't know the specifics of your relationship, I can't tell you how each situation is going to pan out, or predict every conversation that is going to arise - it's going to be lots of little battles for quite some time.
I'm sorry that this happened to you, but better now than later when your lives are entwined in such a complex manner that divorce would drag on forever...if that is the route you wish to take. If you stay together, this has happened early enough in your relationship that you could POSSIBLY recover as a couple and have a happy life together.
I wish you the best - good luck!
2007-10-16 01:37:01 · answer #2 · answered by unithoRn 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would never, ever, ever sleep with a man to see if I had feelings for him, and this should have happened before you got married, if thats truly how she felt she needed to do it, she needs your money tell her to screw off and move on, shes a ho and not worth your effort. Your clearly a good person if you drive a special education bus, and good people at heart deserve better than what shes proven to be.
2007-10-16 01:36:29 · answer #3 · answered by chattergurl1986 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would not move back in. I would get a divorce. She should have found that you before she married you. If she cheated on you after only two months she will always cheat.
2007-10-16 03:41:33 · answer #4 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just do what u did, walk out of the marriage. She's just gave you an unacceptable excuse. She cheated on you once, how many more times she's going to cheat on you?
2007-10-16 02:13:45 · answer #5 · answered by Wild Ginger 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that you are a rational guy. I mean you did walk out when you saw her in bed with someone else. You didn't throw things, shoot anyone, kill anyone. Bravo , you showed complete control. This one doesn't need to be answered by yahoo. This one, is totally up to you. Now really, you are the "MAN"
2007-10-16 01:34:32 · answer #6 · answered by troop there it is 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should do almost anything in the world except move back in with her. If you move back in with her then you should quit driving the bus and start riding the bus
2007-10-16 01:25:40 · answer #7 · answered by Doc Phil 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You did the right thing. You found her in bed with another man. She betrayed you and her marriage vows. Think about it.
2007-10-16 02:07:52 · answer #8 · answered by Rave 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stand up for yourself and tell her no. if you move back in she'll think she can get away with it, and you have NO idea if she's telling you the truth about it being the first time or not.
yeah it hurts but you have to have respect for yourself. there's other women out there who arent whores and who will actually treat the man they are with decently.
2007-10-16 01:40:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's a lame excuse. Cheating is never justifiable anyway. Just move on and forget about her. Hopefully you will meet somebody who can be loyal to you.
2007-10-16 01:27:14 · answer #10 · answered by H Wombat 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋