I find that they have had sexual relations, I have tried to ask him to stay away, he is now saying that I have no way of stopping them from seeing each other outside of my home. Can I get a restraining order, how does that work, who do I contact. This is in the state of Ohio.
2007-10-15 17:58:58 · 59 answers · asked by Gray 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Oh there is a lot you can do. File charges of statutory rape. It'll piss your daughter off but you she has no idea what's she's doing at this point. But you can't really file a TRO (temp restraining order) without mentioning the sex.
My mom worked for the courts here in Mi for years, so she said what you could try is call the police station and ask who deals with statutory rape cases. She said call from a pay phone.
Once you get a detective on the phone talk to him about your situation and that you really really don't want him to get into trouble because that will only drive your daughter closer to him.
But ask him if you could come in and talk to him or her. But my mom said if you get the feeling they are going to nail this guy then tell them if all they want is to ruin everyone's life forget it and hang up.
Then call back a week or two later and ask if they have changed their views. Because all you want is for them to talk to this jerk and get it through his head he can't have sex with her. They may or may not go for it.
But my mom said if you decide to go through this to make sure you are ready for the storm that follows. She said that they don't recommend therapy for the kids but for the parents so they have someone to vent too.
So it's basically up to you what you want to do. It is wrong, and if he's being an as*hole then go ahead and out do him. That's all these punks seem to understand my mom said.
My mom also said to drop the issue cold. Just drop it and if he's in your house be cordial, as hard as it will be. Then just find another room to be in. She said that complaining and threats only drive the two parties together more. So decide if you could live with him getting charged and your daughter hating you for a while. Or just do nothing and raise your grandchild while your daughter finishes school and he pays no support at all. The choice is yours.
You could also nail your daughters windows shut and forbid her to go anywhere without you. But she’ll skip school to see this jerk. I hope you can find the strength to file charges. He wants to be an a*s. Well two can play that game.
Good Luck
xxx
2007-10-15 18:18:06 · answer #1 · answered by Shel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a close relationship with your daughter, I would stay calm and ask her to do out to dinner and have a QUIET VOICED convesation, the louder you get the more rebellious she will be. Explain how much you love her and don't want to see her hurt and that if she feels she needs to do this that theres consequences and TELL HER!!!!! Tell her the bad things that can happen. Spend more time with your daughter so she has less time with him, explain the advice your giving now is so you don't have to be giving parent advice later. The boyfriend is VERY disrespectful and thats NOT GOOD for either, if she becomes pregnant HE WILL BE GONE!!!!!! Like they NEVER MET! and then sadly she will listen and apologize, become a closer person in her life, find something fun for the 2 of you, talk to a school counselor for some advice, they deal with this A LOT!
2007-10-15 18:07:23 · answer #2 · answered by darlin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres not much you can do really unless your country has laws such as restraining the guy. Whats the age of consent where you live and can you get him for being with a minor?Youre probably going to hate this but put her on some type of contraception before shes gets pregnant. You cant stop them from having sex because you cant be with them 24/7 She will rebel and probably run off with him if you put too much pressure on them. Some times its hard when your kids grow up and start being sexually active but apart from locking them up there isnt much you can do. Good luck dear lady I went thru the same with my girl but shes 22 now and still with her guy and Ive accepted him and have grown to love him as part of my family.If you are unsure of the law in your state ask a solicitor
2007-10-15 18:31:39 · answer #3 · answered by cats mother 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since your daughter is considered a minor you may get a restraining order and/or protection order to protect you and your daughter from seeing this man. In most states you contact your local courthouse and they will give you further instructions on what you need to do. I also believe that this is statutory rape. If you wish to press charges the police can help you file a report.
2007-10-15 18:07:04 · answer #4 · answered by Matt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be on the phone with 911 not asking us in the Yahoo answers. This is your daughter we are talking about here not some friends niece. Call the police and have the DA press charges NOW Ohio might have a law that says when she turns 17 she can have sex with anyone she wants, get these charges stuck to him now before you don't have a case.
2007-10-15 18:04:18 · answer #5 · answered by Ancient Warrior DogueDe Bordeaux 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go on the web site for sexual preditors in Ohio Department of corrections and pull up all the list of sexual preditors and let him take a look. It will explain what a sexual preditor is and might scare him. Ask him if your daughter is worth doing 30 years for. If this doesn't scare him than he is very dangerous and do what ever it takes to get him away before she ends up pregnant or HIV possitive. Call your local police department and ask to talk to a detective and see if they will inform him of the law. This could ruin his whole life and he could sit benind bars for a long time . Doesn
't this guy have a TVMore so it could ruin your daughters life. I went through the same ting as a teenager, fell in love with an older man, no it wasn't love ,it was love i was looking for and my sister who was raising me intervened and boy and I glad now. I can't remember his name anymore but sure was glad that i didn't end up with him. Somedy she will Thank you but don't expect it right now , because she will hate you. I know now why kids have parents and can't make decision like that. Hurry and talk to anyone that will listen. Good Luck
2007-10-15 18:58:53 · answer #6 · answered by tnt 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First file a police report. You are her mom, and it doesn't matter if she gets mad a you or not. Your job is to protect her from what you know is unsafe and destructive at her age. Take a copy of the police report to your county courthouse and they will help you with the restraining order. Here (NM) it costs $110.00. With a police report it might even be free. Since what he is doing is against the law, they will not deny you. Honestly, what he is doing is disgusting. She's just a child.
2007-10-16 17:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by shodair 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my sister was 17 she was with a guy that was older than her by a few years, my mom had him arrested without even speakign to my sister about how they felt about eachother.. It turns out my sister was pregnant by him. He got sent to prison and he is still there, my sister to this day refuses to let my mom see her or her son. He is now 9. The only time she has ever spoken to my nephew was when my sister made him call my mother and ask where his daddy is. My mom just like my sister didn't know how to explain to him that his father is a convicted sex offender and that he will NEVER get to have a relationship with him. Even when he gets out of prison he will never be able to have unsupervised visitation with his own son. My sister has only spoken to me one time about this and the only thing she said was that they were just young and wanted to have fun, its not like he was raping her, she knew what she was doing. I'm not saying what you should do because your the parent, he is an adult and should be smarter than that, but your daughter knows what she is doing, you should at least warn him and your daughter that you feel its wrong and that if he doesnt stop you will tell the police, thats more than my mom ever did.
2007-10-15 18:25:34 · answer #8 · answered by Stephanie 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
With all the attention targeting on the guy. Why not look at your daughter and focus on educating her some moral values of what is accpetable and what is not. Also what are the consequences that will happen..
Our daughters will always be subjected to predators out there. We can never be with them for 24 hrs, so the best way is to teach how to protect herself instead..
take care
2007-10-15 19:40:39 · answer #9 · answered by trymejames 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when i was 15 years old i was in a sexual relationship with a 21 year old male, my parents threatened to call the police and have him charged if i didnt stop seeing him. i told them that if they did that they would never see me again, they didnt call the cops and i did stay with him for 7 years but i eventually broke it off with him, but the important thing is i still have my parents, i know you are stressed but you cant control your daughter forever, let her sort this out and as much as you dont like this situation you are best off to stand by your daughter and be there for her when its all over
2007-10-15 18:42:16 · answer #10 · answered by princess yahoo 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋