I have tried to explain to her that many people use it as a marital aid and that there is nothing wrong with it. She refuses to watch it with me and I do not wish to hide it from her.She tries to make me feel guilty about watching it and I tell her that I think it is something we can both enjoy together.Am i wrong?
2007-10-15 17:56:28 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are wrong in every way.
Pornography is not a marrital aid, but a single man's sex stimulant. If you wanted to continue this lifestyle, why did you marry?
Most respectable women and men find it repulsive, demoralizing and disrespectful. Why would you want to hurt or offend your bride? You should be loving her as you love yourself.
Why not try and replace the porn with something that you both enjoy?
Why would any decent man want their wife to watch another man/woman having sex? Is that what you want her to think of while you are making love to her? Why would you insult your wife this way?
You might need to seek help, this is not a normal or acceptable thing. The world may think it is and tell you that it is, but have a look at our divorce rates and tell me what you think this type of demoralization is getting us.
2007-10-15 19:20:55 · answer #1 · answered by *Kimmie* 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You like it. She doesn't. Find something else to spice up the bedroom. She isn't wrong and neither are you. We all have our beliefs, feelings, wants and needs. Respect hers.
Watch porn if you want to, but leave her out of it. She told you how she feels, so that is the end of it. You both could enjoy many other things together, but trying to coerce someone into something they find repulsive just alienates them and causes more problems. Just agree, empathize and be a good friend.
The problem is less the porn and more the fact that you need to make your wife your priority in your life and let her know she is important, special and loved beyond belief. Go play. Have a date. Go on an adventure. Spice up your life. She'll love you for it.
2007-10-15 18:04:49 · answer #2 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She finds it repulsive because in the movie, there generally is no plot, just hardcore down to business , no self-respect, dirty hos . She sees that and may think that she becomes one of them when she is with you intimately.
I gave up on this a long time ago when my wife felt the same way as yours did.Took me a while to figure it out, but I am no less happier without it.
You can`t make her enjoy something she has no interest in. Stop wasting time and try to be more emotionally connected to her.
2007-10-15 18:10:40 · answer #3 · answered by I tell it like it is 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are dead wrong! Just because you think everyone is doing it then that means it is O.K. I have been married 23 years and believe me there is nothing wrong with our sex life and we have never used porn. Marital aid! More like passion killer! No woman can compete with a porn star and they shouldn't have to. Now, toss all of your stuff in the garbage and treat your lady the way she wants to be treated - with respect and dignity. If you can't do that - then get yourself into counselling as you are addicted!
2007-10-15 18:02:36 · answer #4 · answered by curiouscanadian 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Look! If she said no, leave her alone you shouldn't try to force anything on her. Some people are just not into it. And alot has to do with their up bringing. And some has to do (probably) with her feeling jealous, she not enough to turn you on so you have to use porn. And there is nothing wrong with her feeling that way. You shouldn't try to change it. And you are probably makeing her feel bad about herself by not hiding it and bothering her with it. I think it is not cool of you at all to do something that she asked you not to do. I don't think that you are wrong by wanting to enjoy with or without her. I like it but my husband would freak if I told him. He has told me before that he thinks its trashy. So I respect him enough not to even ask to watch it with him.
2007-10-15 18:05:14 · answer #5 · answered by alex-mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not wrong, you just don't agree. You feel pornography is normal, and possibly even helpful. She does not. You trying to convince her of your point of view is no different than her trying to convince you of hers. I will also say that alot of the porn I have seen is very degrading to women - they are always subservient, slaved, and just stupid. Women see sex as not just a physical but an emotional outlet as well - when men just speak of sex it often makes the women feel that she is only desired for her physical.
I don't really have an answer for you, but I will say to walk softly on this issue. You can damage your wife's feelings and esteem very easily if you push this issue - good luck
2007-10-15 18:03:05 · answer #6 · answered by chrissy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
MANY women are not down w/ porn. I'm not into the porn my DH likes & he's not into mine ....& frankly I DO NOT want to watch it w/ him.
Women find it disrespectful. Maybe start slower w/ toys. Or an adult boardgame or 101 Nights of Great Sex.....it's a tad more romantic but it's all about her - not some other naked lady.
2007-10-15 18:00:57 · answer #7 · answered by mkt 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
have confidence is the bridge it quite is being crossed. This needs to be confronted now. this is obvious she is calling outdoors for stimulation, even from a communicate board. The question is, for a manner long now? elementary communique is what's area of a solid marriage. you are able to desire to be waiting to confront her without worry from her reaction. The door has been opened and you are able to no longer close it now and purely ignore. You owe it to the two considered one of you to tackle this and paintings it out. in spite of if it potential an undesirable fact.
2016-12-18 08:48:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a way, yes. Porn is repulsive and women NEVER find it cool. If it something you want to watch with her, then it's something for you, but you want to try to include her as well in one of your activities.
2007-10-15 18:01:08 · answer #9 · answered by mitch26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't explain it to some women.
They think you want the women in the video more than you want them. They are wrong.
They think you want them to *look like* the women in the video. They are wrong.
They think you are a pervert for wanting to watch it together. They are wrong.
They compare themselves to the women in the video. They shouldn't.
They think you want to do everything in the video. Well, sometimes they are right on that one.
Now in their defense, some porn is more like an ob-gyn visit than a sex romp. I hate extreme and extended close-ups, birth canal shots, zits on a$ses, and fake screaming.
But there *is* tasteful couples porn out there and if you went for that and not a 4-hour pearl necklace video, you might get somewhere with her.
Allow her time to express WHY she is not interested. Seek a compromise.
But my guess is, as it almost always is in marriage, women control sex and we sink to their least common denominator. I wouldn't expect her to come out and gush, "Gee honey, *now* I understand your point of view! Go rent some porn tonight - I'm feeling horny as heck!" any time soon.
2007-10-15 18:21:22 · answer #10 · answered by filthy_crumb 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋