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I am 50, my partner 47. The culmination of this difficulty was when, after having been brought to orgasm by me with hand stimulation, she was crying (no, not from an orgasmic reaction). She had stated on a couple of occassions before that she prefers penetration and mutual climax and even mutual masturbation..... but does not like it when I concentrate only on her. She has done it to me in this way and seems to find this ok sometimes. This is very frustrating to me because; - I do not always get totally hard anymore - I enjoy doing it to my partner this way anyway and for me it is a loving and just plain giving act that I desire to do for my partner.
Does anyone else feel like this? We have discussed this, including directly after the crying incident, and each time the response is that she just believes that full sex is a sharing act that involves an equality in experience. A short seperation period due to work is about to end and I have to talk to her. So, here I am, looking for help

2007-10-15 17:15:19 · 5 answers · asked by JoNee 2 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

5 answers

Can you not use something like viagra? If not I understand how she feels I don't like being the only one receiving either it makes me feel wierd like he doesn't really want to do it or something like that. good luck

2007-10-15 17:44:45 · answer #1 · answered by alex-mommy 3 · 0 2

I'll pass forward and reply. Even even though I'm no longer a lady, I've learn approximately the discipline and suppose I can reply good. Recent stories have determined that ladies's vaginas have the bodily response of having lubricated at a heighthened degree for the duration of any compelled intercourse to defend themselves from illness. If you seem at it from the evolution factor of view, rape was once extra general traditionally and scientific remedy was once no longer, thus the girl's vagina grew to become very aroused and lubricated for the duration of compelled intercourse in an effort to defend from tearing and an illness that would set in and kill the girl. The extra aroused the girl acquired the much more likely she was once to orgasm, and for the reason that orgasm fairly lubricates, it might defend from even very violent rapes.  But then comes the query: so does that imply she preferred it? And by and large (and that is my individual thought) from an evolutionary perspective ladies are bodily aroused by means of compelled intercourse and mentally they ABSOLUTLEY HATE rape. I suppose it is an evolutionary seize 22, on one hand if the girl's frame did not get aroused, and therfore lubricated, for the duration of the stumble upon she ran the threat of being injured, setting up an illness and demise. On the opposite hand if ladies had mentally and emotionally loved rape then they by and large might act beautiful loopy and could not were very well moms or other halves on the grounds that all it might take is for a few stranger to come back alongside and rape them they usually might be off with him. If the arena was once like that guys and ladies might by and large simply be getting jiggy 24/7. But I suppose ladies's our bodies bodily get arouse for security for the duration of rape, however mentally and emotionally they HATE it.   But, no longer all compelled intercourse is rape. And I suppose ladies have began to gain knowledge of and discover that compelled intercourse below parameters that they set, is usually a gigantic activate. I suppose that is what domination and submission S&M is approximately, many ladies have determined that if they have got compelled intercourse for a targeted time with any one they love in a obstacle they have got established themselves, it may be very arousing and is some way for them to possess this response and feature amusing with it with out the guilt. I suppose that is why the "taken in hand," and "fifty sunglasses of gray" fabric is so standard presently. Now that many ladies have discovered their our bodies react so good to compelled intercourse, they're indulging in fantasies with out guilt by means of environment managed occasions up with their colossal different so they may be able to fairly experience scorching animal intercourse, guilt unfastened.  And why no longer, if that is not empowerment, I have no idea what's. 

2016-09-05 10:48:51 · answer #2 · answered by livermore 4 · 0 0

Enjoyment of penetration is key for me, but I also feel cherished and special when "attention" is being paid to only me! I enjoy giving such attention and have learned to enjoy it as well. I feel it is still sharing but with the focus shifting between partners.
She may not be comfortable with this and there may not be anything you can do to change it. Haveing this be an issue will add stress to your physical relationship and further hamper erection success.
Can you discuss this with your doctor also? There are meds on the market- as we have all been bombarded with!- that do assist in gaining and keeping an erection. May be worth looking into. Best of luck to you!

2007-10-15 18:08:42 · answer #3 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 1 2

this is a tough question, i don't understand why she is so choosy about her orgasms. i sort of knew a women like that myself for a while, when she asked me to make her orgasm differently i tried the old sixty-nine with me on top, well while we were doing it i accidently cut one, believe it or not but she want me to do it like that all the time after that and sometimes i couldn't. we just both went our seperate ways. good luck to u and i will keep u in my prayers

2007-10-15 18:06:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

While she has a sexual preference, she should respect that you have yours too. Males, unlike females cannot fake it. If you have difficulty having a hard-on, you can choose to see a doctor OR simply discuss with her it directly with her.

2007-10-15 22:25:33 · answer #5 · answered by Didi 3 · 1 2

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