my hubby seams like everything i care about dose not matter to him. in th past 2 years i have gave up so much. can you please tell me what you think? is it just me, or is he being very selfish?
1) i left b/h my family, my friends, most my animals & rescue work that i love to move far far away b/c he wanted to.
2) i gave away my 2 mixed dogs that i save from the streets so he could get 2 bulldogs. ofcourse i'm the one who has to take care of him.
3) i gave up going to an animal refuge on Sundays b/c he was getting mad for having to watch his son 3 days a week(sunday & my class that is 2 days for 2 hrs.
4) i am going to school for business. now he wants to open a fourwheeler shop instead of my dream business.
please tell me your opion on this. i will be 30 next month & i can't help to think the way things are going, my life will never amount to anything. thanks
2007-10-15 16:56:35 · 14 answers · asked by rblankenship_rblankenship 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's obvious that he is more concerned about his own selfish needs and doesn't really give 2 shlts about your dreams and needs..... I hate to say this but men like him only get worse and he is about as self centered as it gets... I'm sure you could do much better!
2007-10-15 17:07:30 · answer #1 · answered by DavidV 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
With everything except point 4, I would say that you have every right to be pissed off. He's arrogant, selfish and too self-absorbed to be anything close to a caring spouse.
As for the last point, continue going to school. And when he gets his business up & running and you're done with school, then you can start your dream business.
If all else fails (and I do mean all...including counseling) the there's always the route of divorce. While it's never easy or pretty, in some cases it IS the best answer when you're terminally unhappy.
2007-10-16 00:01:59 · answer #2 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can keep doing what he wants but will you resent him later in life for those choices?
Think of the outcome and then choose from there. Won't he support you if you tell him how important it is for you to finish school? I'm sure he cares about your desires and goals as well.
Sometimes people/hubby's get overwhelmed and excited maybe about their ideas and forget that you may have your own. Doesn't make him bad, just not seeing your view as well.
Alot of times we make assumptions and we are usaully wrong. Talk not argue, I'm sure you can compromise!
2007-10-16 00:14:24 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs. V 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Wow you have put up with a lot more than my mother would have I would say it is time for a talk. He actually complains about watching his own sons for three days. What father does that? You guys should talk about balancing things out and maybe what is best for the whole family.
2007-10-16 00:02:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
He is very selfish. You keep giving and giving and you do not get anything in return. He gets mad because he has to watch his child? That would do it for me. Go for your dreams and make yourself happy. He is not going to do it. You are not asking for too much but you also are not getting anything. Cut your loses now and go for your dreams. Anything is achievable. Do not let him hold you back any longer.
2007-10-16 00:52:53 · answer #5 · answered by kim h 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It seems to me that you are doing all of the sacrificing for him and he is not doing any sacrificing for you. Marriage is a partnership. You two are supposed to compromise with each other. I believe that he is being selfish because he is not considering your needs. He is only doing what is best for him. Need more advice, click on the address below.
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2007-10-16 00:10:30 · answer #6 · answered by Sabrina T 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
yep youve gave up way more then i would of.. mostly the animals deal.. i help out at the rescue too.. you should tell him just what you told us.. and ask what hes gave up to make you happy.. you have to decide if your willing to keep doing this or not.. you teach people to treat you the way they do.. if you allow it to be done to you then thats what you get each time.. i think its time he thinks of you for a change.. good luck
2007-10-16 00:03:08 · answer #7 · answered by Kat 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
uhh yeah he is. im not saying he doesnt but if he cared about you a little more he wouldnt make you get rid of the things you love, and your still so young, so yeah i dont think you want to live like this the rest of your life, because if you do you're going to regret it someday.
2007-10-16 00:04:22 · answer #8 · answered by minnieo_0 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
just quit giving into his demands if its something you are really opposed to. he can figure out how to deal with it. you are making the mistake of allowing him everything he wants at your emotional expense. over time that will wear on the relationship and will erode your feelings for him. believe it or not, you will be happier in the relationship if you start to take care of yourself as well. neither one of you can have everything but you don't have to end up with nothing. just start standing up for yourself and tell him "no" when you need to. then, leave him be to figure out how to deal with it. don't make a big fuss, just say no and end the conversation. but you need to start standing up for yourself. good luck
2007-10-16 00:02:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
This doesn't sound like a marriage to me. It sounds like you exist to make him happy and do his chores and obey his wishes. You are right, you will never have your own life if you stay married to him, and your dreams and desires will never be fulfilled. You married a self-centered control freak, and he'll never change.
2007-10-16 00:04:34 · answer #10 · answered by No Shortage 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋