Ok, Im 26 my aunt is 49 (my moms sister) and im married w/3 kids,my own home, and new car. Im also a stay at home mom. My aunt is divorced w/2 adult children and just lost her home unfortuntly and living in my grandmas home(her mom), well she comes over and "observes" and then gathers her own opinions about my marriage what is usually bad just because im a homebody and i really dont care to hang out in the streets she says ive changed and i must be unhappy w/ my marraige and it is so not true!!. She tells other family members like my unhappy sister and then they call my house saying stuff like "I guess you cant talk on the phone because your husband dosent want you to." I love my family but misery loves company and they have to stay away. They even makes suggestions about me leaving my husband! because they dont like him. What would u do?
2007-10-15 16:49:25 · 16 answers · asked by domojj24 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Step 1: Remember that NO ONE can ruin your marriage except YOU. So if you and your spouse are doing everything you need to do to have a safe, healthy, happy relationship, then that's good enough.
Step 2: STOP allowing this woman into your home!! Ever hear of the phrase, "once bitten, twice shy"? Well, how many times exactly HAS this witch bitten you???!!!
Step 3: Tell your aunt to mind her own F***King business. She's a catty little pain in the @$$ with nothing better to do than try to ruin your relationships with your OTHER family members.
Remember what I said about Step 1? Well the same thing applies to family as well as spouses. If your other family members are allowing her to ruin their relationships with YOU, then that's their business.
If you ALLOW her to drive a wedge between you and your family, you have no one to blame but yourself.
The next time someone calls and says, "Oh, well I guess you can't talk," just smile (because a smile CAN be heard in the voice), and say sugar-sweet, "Where EVER did you hear such clap-trap? Oh, that silly auntie of ours? Oh, you know her...she's just a busy body and bored to death with her life, so you just KNOW she's got to create drama in everyone else's!" END OF PROBLEM!!
2007-10-15 16:57:06 · answer #1 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There must be something that your aunt 'observed' that gave her the conclusion that you are unhappy with your marriage. Although her comments don't matter, it can caused you misery and breed misunderstanding within the family. Worst of all, if your husband hears of it, it may upset him.
You didn't say why your family dislike your husband. But you can try visiting your family with your husband and children. During the visit, I am sure they can see how happy you are in the marriage - through both your behaviours. Try inviting your family members, including your aunt to your place too. If they call and say things like, 'oh I guess you can't talk on the phone...' correct them immediately by telling them that its ok to talk, regardless of your husband.
You may dislike your aunt's behaviour but by convincing them through actions and not words will prove more effective. If you don't care about what everyone thinks, you don't have to do anything at all.
The fact that you are asking here shows it matters to you. So show them you are happily married!
2007-10-16 00:19:43 · answer #2 · answered by Didi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Throw a family get together at your home. Bring up all the accusations and tell them to lay off. You are a happy mom and wife and to make up such things to make themselves feel better is an evil thing to do especially to a family member. Make sure your husband is there to witness all this. He need not talk since they assume he is telling you what to do and who you can see. After your "speech" have HIM ask where they get their ideas about your marriage. Some people are just jealous because they don't have the advantage you do to stay home and raise your kids. Good for you! As long as you are happy , the kids and hubby are happy it's a shame these people are trying to bring you down. Then print this out-a copy for everyone- and let them read it. There is not a damn thing wrong with being a stay at home mom. You've made a good decision.
2007-10-15 23:59:23 · answer #3 · answered by hoppykit 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They sound like they spend a lot of time here on Answers, don't they? I mean, everybody here recommends divorce everytime someone announces that they are unhappy or someone else told them that they were unhappy, etc.
You are the woman of your house and it's high time you took control. Or retake it rather. Tell these busybodies outrightly that they are interferring and you don't have the time or energy to invest in people who indulge in self-righteous, bossy behavior because they feel a sense of superiority over someone else when they do it. Then offer them a little sympathy for having lost what they did have by employing these methods on their ex spouses, boyfriends, etc. And you might want to remind them that the Women's Movement was all about a woman making choices that seemed right for them. If you find it hard to tell this to their faces, sit down and put pen to paper. (People really do need to correspond more in this old-fashioned way more often anyway). Change your locks anytime you make a change in your life. Life is too short to allow anyone else to live yours for you.
2007-10-16 00:02:14 · answer #4 · answered by Chiksita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them that if they can't stop being trouble making busybodies then to bug off. My family was the same way but mine had also been abusive while I was growing up. I finally had enough, so about 8 years ago. when I was 34, I told them to never have contact with me again, not by phone, letter, or in person. It was the best thing that I ever did, for myself and my family-(husband and kids).
2007-10-15 23:57:56 · answer #5 · answered by dances with cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suggest to your aunt that discussing your marriage and home life is none of her business and you'd prefer to talk about other things when she is INVITED over. You also need to limit the interaction with your aunt - she needs to understand that your home is yours and not a hangout for HER. Gotta be cruel to be kind
2007-10-15 23:54:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can either let your husband know whats going on, so that if he hears anything he will know the truth or you can confront your aunt and tell her to stop spreading these rumours about you and your marriage, because she is totally wrong.
2007-10-16 00:15:50 · answer #7 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First....no one can ruin your marriage except you and your husband.
Second....you need to put some boundaries up for your family and tell them what the limits are.
When things start to get crazy....go home or hang up the phone.
2007-10-16 00:05:47 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
next time they make their comments, tell them that you appreciate if they are concerned about you but that there is nothing for them to worry about. Tell them that the day you need their opinion you will ask for it. Meanwhile don't let their comments or suppose observations get to you. it is obviously jealousy that is making them act this way.
2007-10-15 23:59:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You teach people how to treat you. I would try to avoid her as much as possible. You can also make a choose to surround yourself with people who you feel good around.
I love my family from a distance.
Friends are Gods apologies for family members...
2007-10-15 23:58:00 · answer #10 · answered by Soulfulgrl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋