HELP, My 13 yr old stepson messed up now what to do, hes exspelled andlooking at facing charges?

Question

He and a girl were in afterschool detention ,she flashed her bare top to him and he reached a pinched her , now the mother is charging him with sexual hassult and he was expelled from school , his real mom I guess works with the girls mother and said because she doesnt want to lose biz she is going to let him go down for it , pretty much stepping aside ,and not giving us really any insight on all the details of the police said ect,,,I am worried sick ,and really beleive hes a good kid just had a really bad error in judgement, he knows how to treat others ,respectfully , his mom moved a bit further away last year and he has been acting out a bit but not enough for her to just throw him away like this ...Please if anyone has any thoughts on what I need to do next ...PLEASE

Answer 1

Firstly, my heart goes out to you. I'm a Mum, and, my daughter who is nearly 21 now, was a rebelious teenager who got into more trouble (more or less expelled from school and later with the police) than I care to mention. But, that's another story.

Firstly, if your son (who cares if he is your step-son or not, if you love him and are raising him; he's your boy), has been interviewed by the police and actually charged with this offence, then he will have a "Charge Sheet" detailing this. Get a solicitor who will also obtain a copy of the "Interview tape" or written transcript of the same. The solicitor will be best able to advise you as to the severity (or not) of the matter. I don't think anyone can actually advise you on the legal implications of this without actually knowing if he has been charged; with what offence etc.,

You say your boy has been acting up a bit since his biological mother moved further away last year. (I would presume that there isn't much love lost there between you and her), but I expect he feels that "she" has abandoned him and he is pretty p....d off about it. Is there anyone at the school you can talk to; if not you personally, can't his Dad speak to someone? You may find out more actual details of what happened there.

Did the girl get expelled too? What had they done that necessitated them being in detention in the first place - was that in any way connected with this matter?

For crying out loud; the girl isn't exactly "Little Miss Perfect" is she?! She must have been flashing her bare top at him very closely for him to be able to pinch her - doesn't say much for her moral behaviour does it - not that I'm saying he was right or wrong for pinching her, but, come on..... he's a teenage boy - hormones all over the place - what did the girl think he was going to do?

He's made a mistake. You say he is usually respectful and a good kid. There must be plenty of people you know that can verify that and, should it be a matter that does go as far as a court case, would be willing to either write character references for him or go into court as character witnesses on his behalf.

Even though you are worried sick, as I said earlier, get a Solicitor - you may be worrying more than necessary.

Good Luck. He may not realise it right at this moment, but your boy has got a lovely step-mum who obviously cares about and loves him very much. Just try to make sure that, no matter what, you carry on doing just that - he will, I'm sure, know and appreciate it.

Answer 2

First thing we all learned in school is if the teacher did not see it then we did not do it.

Is he getting blamed for something the girl said he did and the teacher did not see.?

Has you step son gone in front a the school board. Because I am some what sure that only the school board can kick him out.. NOT the principal or a teacher.

I would go in front of the school board and tell them what you son said happen..

Same with facing charges.. Tell what he said the girl did..

Sorry to say also that if this is all on the mother then there is not much you can do other then going to the school or police yourself and saying what you know.. Sad for the boy I know..

Answer 3

He is not the only one at fault. It sounds like his real mom cares more about her job than her son. I would have BITC*ED SLAPPED that woman for filing the charges. He was acting like a normal guy. The girl should not have flashed him in the first place. Your husband needs to call the school and complain and tell them that if they do not punish the girl also, that YOU will be hiring a lawyer!

Answer 4

What your dealing with is bad, but it's a good chance he will get community service. He is 13 but while I won't cut slack about what he did because it was wrong but if the girl isn't being punished then we have here a double standard. She was just as wrong for flashing as he was for coping a feel. It will be wrong for her to go unpunished and him be punished and I would raise that point if it goes to court. As far as his mom is concerned she sounds like a bad role model for her son if she runs first sign of trouble too.

Answer 5

Okay, his mother has to stop being selfish and start standing up for her son. And, I think if he does go to court, he has a pretty good defense since the girl willingly flashed him and did not stop him when he was reaching for her. It would be even better if you explain that your stepson has a good case to the girl's mother and, hopefully, she'll back down afterwards.

Answer 6

what kind of punishment is the girl getting for flashing?? because I am fairly certain that what she did could also constitued Sexual harrassment...
both kids messed up and both should be taught they did something wrong...pinching a girls boob isnt treating her respectfully... sorry but it isnt..
still BOTH did something wrong.. expulsion seems a bit harsh... the mom of the girl is clearly over reacting to take attention away from the wrong the girl did... talk to her first.. talk to the principal as well..

EDIT - can you try counter sueing the girl for sexual harrassment?? that might make her mom back off...

Answer 7

Hire a lawyer. I don't want to offer you legal advice about something I don't know about, but your best bet is to get a lawyer ASAP. While the girl should not have done what she did, your stepson shouldn't have done what he did. All I can say is to seek legal advice promptly, and good luck.

Answer 8

I agree - the girl was harrasing him and guilty of indecent exposure. If his real mom won't stand up for him - maybe his dad can. But if it is his word against hers it is shaky.

I would get a lawyer immediately.

Answer 9

I'm sorry for your situation, but what he did was illegal. People who do illegal things have to pay for them. That's the way it works. I don't mean to be rude but you sound like you're making excuses for him. It won't help him in the long run.

Answer 10

lulz