Give me hope!?

Question

My husband and I have been trying six years to concieve. We have tried several times a day to waiting for weeks for every thing to "build up". Putting ice on his pelvis to me practically laying upside down afterward. I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycistic Ovarian Syndrome) and he has low sperm count. We aren't ellgible for adoption due to we don't fit in their expected income bracket and artificial insemination is a bit like playing God. My doc put me on birth control to regulate periods, which after years of taking it, still hasn't done it. I'm at wits end and almost on the verge of giving up. I've tried prayer, almost to the point of begging God. Is there any hope for me ever to hold a tiny person that my husband and I created, or is this yet another lesson that God is giving me? Does anyone else have a message of hope to give? I am a Christian, so please don't dis God.

Answer 1

Oh sweetie! I wish I could give you a hug!

First off, yes there is hope!

I have PCOS and have two girls!

The first one I conceived when I was young and healthy and in shape -- before I knew what PCOS was! We weren't trying and weren't not trying she just showed up and it has been a whirlwind ever since.

Then we didn't think that we could get pregnant so we didn't take a precautions at all!

I conceived her after doing something that you should never ever do... a crash starvation diet!

God, and the doctors had been telling me for years that if I wanted better results from the meds they had put me on (Metformin) I needed to loose weight. I was about a hundred and twenty pounds over my weight ideal.

So one day near the end of October after bleeding so heavily that I not only soaked the hugest maxi they sell at the stores, two tampons (yes, all in at the same time), my underwear, pants almost all the way down to my knees all while I was at work I decide, 'Fine, you want me to loose weight! Fine! I'll loose the weight!'

Come November, I tried to keep what I did eat balanced but I ate extremely small amounts. Like lunch was one hard boiled egg, one Tablespoon sour cream, and three or four shaves of parmesan cheese. And that was it. Lots of water and nothing else. Dinner was whatever I made for my family but I would only eat like one serving spoon worth of it so not even a cup!

This isn't healthy!

But I lost 10 pounds in one week and 5 the next. But then the holidays were coming and that is a huge deal for my extended family so I wasn't going to go to all the gatherings and not eat!

I turned up pregnant in January with a consistent conception date in November!

I think that it was a combination of thing... 1) [for certain that had a lot to do with it was] the weight loss 2) the fasting and then the feasting might have made my body think that "it was now safe to bear a child." Some animals are sent into estrus when they have survived the hard winter and then in spring are suddenly getting lots to eat. Now we aren't animals of even evolved but whose to say that we don't still have some of those triggers that kept us around after the flood? 3) a lot of prayer!

Now, on that note, I have to say that since we were never into the fertility treatment end of PCOS we don't know what my DH counts were but he did everything wrong in terms of sperm health! He wears tight underwear (did you know that God so carefully designed us that sperm need to be a very specific temperature and that's why the testes are not only out side the body but the scrotum is length and shape it is?), he takes hot baths, he drinks soda and alcohol, and is out of shape! So if he didn't have naturally low sperm count he certainly made it low!

So to sum that up, yes, there is hope. And you know that God loves you... no matter what you have done in the past concerning procreation designed actives!

Finally, I have to remind you of how many people adopt a child and then a year later turn up pregnant! Something about the pressure being off or something. I know that you said you couldn't adopt and it sounded financial but I want let you know that there is a church in Washington state that does adoptions at no cost to the adopters. They do it through donations and funding but their goal is to see that no kids and families are kept apart because of money. If it comes to it you might want to look them up.

*HUGS* I'll pray that you find God's hand and peace in this. He knows what's right and what timing is right... And remember He is big enough for you to be mad at Him... Scream at Him and tell Him how much this hurts and go ahead and beg God... He is big enough for that, too!

Answer 2

I would definitely suggest seeing a reproductive endocrinologist. There are fertility drugs that can help with PCOS. You can try Intrauterine Insemination if he has a lower sperm count. That is where they take your husband's sperm and inject it into your uterine cavity so it doesn't have to travel as far to fertilize the egg. THere is hope, so don't give up. You may also have another issue like a uterine polyp or fibroid. My husband and I had been trying for 6 1/2 years when we finally saw a reproductive endocrinologist and on top of my PCOS I also had a uterine polyp (cyst) that had to be surgically removed. Good luck!

Answer 3

I'm not going to dis God, but I am going to ask you to reconsider what you consider "playing God". Please understand that I am absolutely not mocking you or your beliefs but I am asking you to ask yourself these questions.

Isn't taking birth control pills just as much playing god as doing artificial insemination? Artificial insemination only involves the doc using a catheter to put your husbands sperm inside your vagina, near the opening to your cervix. The purpose of this is to bypass your cervical mucus, which might not be a friendly as it's supposed to be.

Taking into consideration your diagnosis of PCOS though, AI isn't all that likely to work. The problem is that your hormones are out of whack and your highest likelihood of getting pregnant will be through in vitro fertilization. I am assuming that you aren't considering using in vitro since it is so much more invasive than AI. But let me put this a different way... what if you had a non-fatal disease that affected your quality of life? Would you seek treatment for this or is curing any disease playing God? PCOS is a disease and it affects more than just your reproduction. I really hope your doc has talked to you about this but your chances of having diabetes, obesity and other diseases is much higher when you have PCOS. But I'm getting off topic a bit here. What I mean to ask is, is it so different in playing God to create a life as it is to save a life? Can you look at it in terms that God enabled doctors to come up with the technology to do in vitro?

In the end, it will come down to how important it is for you to have a biological child. Your faith will be tested as it would with anyone who has a disease. I can't tell you to only put your faith in God, as there are millions of people who do that daily who may or may not be cured of what ails them. Do what you need to do and make sure that you can live with your decisions in the end. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

I have been trying to conceive for a year now. And if i hear another person say "stop trying and stop thinking about it and it will just happen" i will scream! Have you tried fertility drugs yet? I am a Christian as well i do believe god has a plan for all of us. Honestly its tough. I mean i do have two kids myself. But i still understand how parents of no children feel. I am divorced children from previous marriage. I just want to give the man i love a child and no such luck. No one really gets it until they are on the other side you know? My suggesting if you do not have a fertility doctor get one. Try some fertility drugs. Ask the suggestions. I pray for you!

Answer 5

THIS is alot of reading but hope it may help in someway!!!
good luck and god bless...



When you're trying to conceive, you have to try to maximize your fertility. How? Consider these simple tips to maximize your fertility and to increase your chances of conceiving quickly.

1. Have sex regularly. If you consistently have sex two or three times a week, you're almost certain to hit a fertile period at some point. There's no such thing as too much sex for healthy couples who want to conceive. BUT, don't get too much of a good thing during your fertile period can be physically and mentally draining and doesn't do much to increase your odds of conceiving.

2. Make love on the right days. Have sex once a day near the time of ovulation. Dailyintercourse during the days leading up to ovulation may increase the odds of conception. Although this can cause a slight drop of sperm of your partner, the reduction does not affect healthy men. Remember, you're at your most fertile during the five days leading up to and the 12 hours following ovulation. If you miss this window of opportunity, it's game over!This may sound like a no-brainer, but mistimed baby making can wreak your plans to conceive.

3. Make healthy lifestyle choices. Maintain a healthy weight, exercise regularly, eat healthfully and keep stress under control. The same good habits will serve you and your baby well duringpregnancy. You can consider preconception planningif you or your partner have any health issues. Your doctor can assess your overall health and help you identify lifestyle changes that may improve yourchances for a healthy pregnancy.

4. Take your vitamins. Folic acid (vitamin B-9) plays an essential role in a baby's development. Taking a prenatal vitamin or folic acid supplement beginning at least one month before conception through the first trimester of pregnancy canreduce the risk of spina bifida and other neural tube defects by up to 70 percent

5. Create a sperm-friendly vaginal environment. Avoid vaginal sprays, scented tampons and artificial lubricants, all of which may interfere with your baby making plans.

According to statistics, 30-40% of infertility is due to the
male factor - such as:

* Retrograde ejaculation
* Impotence
* Hormone deficiency
* Environmental pollution
* Scarring from previous STDs
* Low sperm count
* Previous drug use

When my sister was trying to become pregnant, she had to eliminate all
possibilities, so she persuaded her husband to go through the tests...
even though it put a strain on her marriage.

But what happens when there's no specific cause to your
infertility?


www.naturalfertilitycures.com


Doctors struggle to find solutions to this kind of infertility, so
a couple in this situation is faced with years of frustration in
trying.

The solution is to get advice from someone else who has been in
your situation, and has gone through all the various infertility
treatments and identified which ones work, and which ones don't.

There's a great guide to becoming pregnant, by a herbalist who
has helped infertile couples all over the world to get pregnant...
QUICKLY.

So what is the "female" factor?

Female causes of infertility include:

* Ovulation dysfunction
* Poor nutrition
* Ovarian cysts
* Pelvic infections or tumors
* Scarring from endometriosis
* Hormone imbalance
* Previous STDs

Sometimes doctors can diagnose the female factor and prescribe
treatments, but some of the above reasons can't be solved by
medication.

In these cases, couples seek alternative remedies, and quite often
waste their time on quack infertility cures. This can be extremely
frustrating, stressful, and even put a strain on the relationship.

This is the situation my sister found myself in when she tried to get
pregnant. When the doctors couldn't help her, she wasted thousands
on "remedies", and put her faith in cures that were simply a waste
of time.

It wasn't until she tried out the cleanses, supplements and herbal
remedies that finally became pregnant.

www.naturalfertilitycures.com

The good news is that the Natural Fertility Cures guide contains
information that, when used...

After reading the guide and putting into practice the advice, you
could become pregnant in as little as 3 months - just like she did!

I'm really grateful to the herbalist for sharing with me the tried and
tested ways to get pregnant naturally. It sure beats IVF!

If you are looking to shorten the time it takes for you to become
pregnant, then this is the guide I recommend:

Answer 6

hey, I to have pcos, I am not a christian but I do attend church atleast 3 times a week, I pray so much to God asking for a blessing to, I no how you really feel, most ladies doesn't understand how it is to be diagnois with pcos, all you really hear them say is "relax and i'll happen" or " start having sex around ovulating date". When you have pcos you are not ovulating on your own and you may need fertility drugs, believe me not all woman bodies are alike so what works for me migght not work for you, and what work for you might not work for me. I did clomid, clomid is the 1st drug they give to pcos ladies who are having difficulty ttc, I did 4 cycles of it without success, now I am on metformin, metformin so far gives me lots of hope and I have lots of faith in it, I never had reguler cycles and now due to metformin I have a 29 day cycle.

I no you don't really want to take fertility drugs, but metformin isn't a fertility drug, it would just lower the male hormones in your body so that you can start having reguler cycles and your body can start ovulating back on its own.

I have been ttc#1 for 4 years now, my dr reccommend me to start taking pre-natal vitamins and folic acid.

you can start of my eating healthy foods, and having a good excercise 5-6 days a week.

Trust in God, and don't give up, for he knows what your heart desires, and he wouldn't put more on you that you can't bare, he'll open the flood gates of heaven and pour a blessing out on you, just seek his face and do his will, I have faith in the Lord I might not be a Christain but he promise to rain on the just and the unjust.

here is a website that you can watch, its a good source of hope, so that you would give up, I wanted to give up but I couldn't after watching it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDSB5M-tfRk

Answer 7

Hello there,
all i can do is to send you all the baby dust in the world!! i know how hard it is to want that little person so bad!! i haven't been trying for as long as you have but i know how disappointing it is!!
good luck to you my dear!
TTC#1 too.

Answer 8

just keep trying, it will happen when you least expect it. you could be trying too hard, b/c trying too hard can also make it harder to conceive. if you don't think about it for a while and let go of all the stress relating to ttc, then it will happen. good luck.