I was friends, close friends, with a depressed woman for about 10 years--then one day I woke up and realized that I was wasting my time on her. She never gave back: she just took, took, took. She was an emotional vampire. Do you chronically depressed people feel guilty when you act this way? Or are you so messed up you don't care--like a vampire? I'm just curious. I try to stay away from mentally ill people now. It's sad they're ill, but as friends, well: they suck. I'm still curious what a person like this thinks about that situation. Do they usually end up getting dumped as friends--which worsens the depression, or do they just go blithely along, unaware of the chaos they leave in their wake? Do tell, I am listening.
2007-10-15 14:46:48 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I think it depends on the illness. I am clinically depressed but I try to keep my behavior with my friends in-check. I guess it depends on the severity of the issues. I have few friends because I tend to push people away and end friendships when I'm really feeling sad... not many people push me away.
But I also think there are people who are just emotional vampires naturally... even if there isn't anything mentally ill about them (SELFISH).
2007-10-15 14:57:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It can be passed through observation and family history. Some people do things and don't even realize it. For instance this one woman loved this guy she was with alot. She was afraid to tell him and kept pushing him away cause she kept insulting him. (He wasn't anything great just average but he is the nicest guy on the planet. So many time I wished I'd meet him instead.) She didn't realize it til her Dad one day said something. I think it was " You know in the paper today there was a woman 27 and got married and died a few months after." He would say this insulting stuff to her until she said something to him about it. Kinda subliminal insults. She said she didn't realize that she even did it to other people she loved. She had just observed it from her Dad doing it to her mom and to her. So it was normal. We all learn from our parents what a relationship is suppose to be like. She should really really see someone about it. She would feel much better about herself if she did. CBT is what she needs. If she also went to the gym on a regular basis it would help because that helps fight depression also. She could have a great deal of anxitey also.
2007-10-15 22:02:12 · answer #2 · answered by Allison 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They don't have friends, they are leeches. Who is friends w/an emotional leech or vampire? It's an illusion--they need to borrow your life force and suck it dry.
It is like being around a vampire! I had never thought of that, but you are right.
I don't know how they have friends either--well maybe for a while, until they alienate them. No one can take all that negative energy for too long. I had a depressed friend, too, and she wanted me to listen to her problems all the time. But she never wanted to listen to mine. So self-centered--didn't even know what a friend was when she had it.
Life is short. Find positive people to spend your time with.
They cannot be friends--I think you're right; they just use people up and keep sucking the blood until the "host" realizes he/she is being emotionally killed by the depressive and losing the opportunities for true, caring friends who give back and don't just TAKE.
2007-10-16 00:54:09 · answer #3 · answered by writer's block 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW… You REALLY sound like an @$$hole…
Did you ever think that being a prick makes people not want to associate with YOU??
Being mentally ill is the same exact this as having cancer… You can’t help it and everyone starts to act different around you when they find out…
The person you were friends with must not have been seeking treatment or receiving any type of support from you or her other so-called “Friends”.
The fact that you considered it a waste of time to be her friend and do nothing to encourage her to seek help makes YOU the bad one in this story…
If ANYONE were supportive of a mentally ill person… If we were able to get affordable treatment and help… If any one did ANYTHING but complain, *****, and moan about it then maybe they would get the help they need to be a “Good” person like you…
2007-10-15 21:55:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
I was a depressed person but no one actually knew and still now after I moved they still don't know so I think you should think about those who hide their feelings. It's possible someone who looks normal is depressed when no one is observing them. I think she is rather trusting of you and that's one good thing out of the friendship. You have her trust. She believes in you.
2007-10-15 22:21:28 · answer #5 · answered by MKS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As bad as this is going to sound, I hope that one day you experience depression yourself. That will be the only way that you will understand what it is that someone with depression suffers through on a daily basis.
People suffering from depression are not deliberately acting like "vampires" as you call them. They can't help feeling the way they do. Most people with depression would desperately love to find a way out of the hole, but climbing out of the hole is really difficult when people such as yourself are around. A depressed person has no emotional resources within herself/himself to draw on. Therefore, a person in this state needs LOTS of love and support and understanding, not judgment for how they (in your opinion) pull others down around them.
2007-10-15 23:20:48 · answer #6 · answered by Nerys 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
being deppressed is like having a cloud around u, u dont really see what others see.
it's really dificult to get to the person behind all this cloude.
dint u know before that she had a problem?
2007-10-15 21:52:57 · answer #7 · answered by sab 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you know how one bad apple spoils the bunch? thats how depressed people are to those around them. their mood can be a drain onto others just the same way a positive upbeat persons energy can spread to those around them. i tend to simply forget about friends who are draining because i can feel that negative energy and it doesn't feel good. surround yourself with happy peopple and you will be a much happier person.
2007-10-15 22:05:50 · answer #8 · answered by the grand super C 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋