I have been in a relationship with someone for 7 months now.we r from different cultures and at first there were some things that bothered me but now we r going pretty strong.
my parents totally dislike the fact that im dating him and so 2 months ago they introduced me to another guy whoz from my culture and religion.on my parents insistence i talked to this guy a few times and my boyfriend knew about it.the problem is that now this guy wants to marry me and my parents r pressurizing me cuz they think having one culture and religion solves alot of problems.plus this guy is an IT engineer with a 6 digit salary while my boyfriend is still doing his Phd (and Phds dont make alot of money).
I dont know what to do.on one hand I see my parents and understand their point that romance might end soon and then cultural diff make create problems.on the other hand my boyfriend has been talkin about marriage too and I do love him.
WHAT WOULD U DO?
2007-10-15 14:46:41 · 12 answers · asked by kera 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't marry someone I had only talked to a few times. But that's just me.
2007-10-15 14:52:35 · answer #1 · answered by sarah jane 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is very difficult. Many cultures are like this. But, this is a new age. Men and women must act as such. If they do not, then in either situation, they should not get married. We cannot tell you which way your heart goes. Think with your head....and with your heart. There is nothing stating that you have to get married right away. So, take you time and weigh your options. Sorry, but YOU must make this very important decision. Hope I could give you some insight though. By the way, I know your parents mean the best, and are looking out for your best interest. But, money doesn't solve all problems. And neither does cultural similarities.....
2007-10-15 14:58:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to follow your heart. Personally, it would be very hard to get involved with someone that doesn't come from the same culture or religion as mine. How can some guy that you don't know that well want to marry you without getting to know you as a person? Give yourself a break. Get to know your parents choice a bit better before you decide if you want your boyfriend with all the complications, or the other man.
2007-10-15 14:56:35 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand your situation. As harsh as it may sound, you want to listen to your parents since they have seen a whole lot and know exactly what works. Cultural and social differences looks like things that you can ignore but in the long run, you will know that it makes a lot of sense.
Unless you have a very strong bond and understanding with you boyfriend, you should listen to your parents.
I had the same issue and did not listen to my parents and today in middle of a divorce. And guess what - my parents still around to support me. Think from your head.
2007-10-15 14:53:28 · answer #4 · answered by Romi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so your choices are marriage and money ( the IT guy ) who will eventually cheat on your or abuse you since you and him are in the same culture and "understand each other" and hide behind culture as the reason for you ( or forbid you ) to leave him when he does...
.. right......
or PhD guy who in the long run will make more money and be more secure and in demand ( IT guys with 6 figure salaries get laid off left and right as corporations are always looking to save a few bucks on newer and cheaper IT guys ) who though you may have cultural differences, will grow to love you for that and you him..
you parents, though they may be well wishing are controlling and fear losing control of you to a foreigner, this is the fate of many old school married parents where they did so not out of love, but due to cultural pressure and family obligations to keep it "in country"....
what they cannot control is the new movement of freedom for those blessed with a mind and education to make sensible choices for themselves, and this means choosing partners outside of your culture.... what ever that may be
culture is what you make of it
not what has been set as a precedent and is not set in stone
100 years from today your culture will be vastly different than the one you know it today
and it part from modernization, globalization and the fact that as we interact with the world, you cannot put blinders on everyone and keep them isolated for ever
sooner or later everyone seeks outside influences as the seek to challenge long held beliefs to see they indeed can do better
your plight is not unique
it is in other communities
such as Hispanic
African and others
and each time the arguments are the same
and each time the arguments fall flat
as they are based on fear, not logic
2007-10-15 15:07:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think that you need to really think about whether or not the cultural and religious differences matter all that much to "you". If your family has issues about it, then that is "their issues" not yours, unless by chance you are under 18 yrs old and then that changes everything. That would mean you really do need to weigh what they say carefully.
I just have always believed that if you love each other, that is really all that matters. If you feel it may cause a lot of problems between the two of you, then you do need to rethink things though. Good luck to you.
2007-10-15 15:06:25 · answer #6 · answered by ShineOn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your heart, if you love the man your with see where it goes. At this point with the pressure of your parents and a new man trying to get your attention, i would lie low and see where things go. Some of the greatest love stories were built on being opposites. Money can give you security, but never that feeling of love. If your parents truly love you they will support your decison whatever you choose. If you do not follow your heart you will always wonder what if....
2007-10-15 15:49:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents might be right in their advice. there are a lot of problems in a marriage with two cultures. I m talking from experience, after the arriage you will have to deal with all what the other person is bringing with him to the marriage. I know that we say love can solve all the differences but sometimes love isn't enough to make them disappear. I think your parents are right, you might not see it now but you might thank them later.
2007-10-19 13:56:40 · answer #8 · answered by babe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask yourself that question. What do YOU want to do. Don't do something b/c it looks right on paper. Do it b/c it feels right. What if your bf was making 6 digits? Obviously something attracted you to him. If its going strong, you wouldn't be answering this question. YOu are afraid of making a decision. YOu need to stick to your guns. Dont be with your bf if you are asking questions like this. Either you are in or out. NO halfway. Not fair to your or your bf.
2007-10-15 15:41:13 · answer #9 · answered by Need Answers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the godhead doesnt artwork like that! there are 3 that reign in heaven(the kjv makes use of the be conscious "rule") God gave the SON all authority in heaven and in earth. if jesus needs to stroll the earth the holyghost sits on the throne. ( my opinion) yet there are also 24 elders that still rule in heaven on thrones over the earth. i anticipate all of them are resurrected beings by technique of now. except the 4 apostles who opt for to stay on earth, there's a debate even if or not they have received their resurrection
2016-10-21 05:51:40 · answer #10 · answered by leisure 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋