Theirs a girl I have been dating for about 8 months now, the only problem is I have only seen her a total of 4 weeks since Im in the military and can only see her on when im on leave. I've known her for about 3 years now and she is a wonderful person. We have been talking about getting married when I come home again in december. This way she can move down here and the military will pay for our apartment and she can go to school while I finish off my enlistment. I have 21 months left. Should I marry this girl who I have a long distance relationship with?
2007-10-15 14:10:35 · 11 answers · asked by sk8ter2005 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you have just 21 months left, why not wait until you are home full time, and then get engaged? Then you can have some real time together before planning the wedding. It takes a very special type of woman to marry into the military, with all the long absences and such, so far better to get to know each other really well before hand.
Good luck with your relationship!
2007-10-15 14:27:52 · answer #1 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have to say no as well. You have not been together enough to really know each other. Marriage is a difficult proposition in good circumstances. You would be starting almost as strangers with her trying to go to school and you in the military. You would be starting with too many strikes against you.
When you can get up in the morning and say to yourself - I am going to ask that girl to marry me today - without a bunch of strangers giving you advice on the internet - then you are ready to marry her.
Good Luck
2007-10-15 14:25:18 · answer #2 · answered by mn lady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the military myself, and believe me when i say this - NO! I was a family councelor, and dealt with a lot of soldiers who have and are in your situation. If she is a "wonderful" girl, she will finish her degree on her own and wait for you. More points for her. Dont go chasing after BAH and $250 separation pay, it is not worth your heartache in the end. Dont become anothe "Army story". Wait for the girl, get to know each other, and get married once you get back, then begin a life together. Hope this helps.
Plus - the girl has known you FOUR WEEKS, and she's ready to spend the rest of her life with you? Or does she want to be taken care of while you're away? Please, please, wait. I waited longer for my husband, and would not change it for anything.
2007-10-15 14:22:13 · answer #3 · answered by stpattysforever 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. You need time face to face to get to know each other. E-mail or IM time is not enough. You have to see each other's facial expressions, mannerisms, touches. You have to make sure that your life plans and your ideals are the same. Is she a strong lady who can deal with you being overseas and wait faithfully for you? Have talked about your faith?
Personally, I married a man I knew but never spoke to for 5 years (we weren't friends--just attended the same church). We began courting in May, and in September, we were married. I didn't know him well, but felt he was God's choice for me, God's gift to me. Through the next 23 years, we've gotten to know each other, love deeper, wider, richer, but it was all based on our love of God, and the peace in our hearts from Him telling us this was God's will, and an unfailing commitment to God, the church, and each other.
Take care.
Debbie
2007-10-15 14:56:45 · answer #4 · answered by TX Mom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 Questions- Do you love her? if the answer is yes then I say yes dont move on when you love her dearly.
Have you ever felt a better connection between u and other girl? If yes then you better not marry her-that would be really mean and would most likely end up in divorce.
2007-10-15 14:36:02 · answer #5 · answered by ccc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, that is not a good idea. You need to know someone a lot better then you two know each other. Wait there is no hurry! I don't know how old you are but wait to get married until you are 30 years old!
2007-10-15 14:20:14 · answer #6 · answered by Dance 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Think about what is in your heart. How do you truly feel about her? What do you know about her? Do you know her favorite things? What are her future plans? What are yours? Does she know all there is to know about you? Do you know all about her? Are you ready for marriage? It is a life time commitment. Don't do it till you truly know what you want. And don't do it till you are ready. These are things you need to think about. Long distant relationships are hard to know your true feelings.
2007-10-15 14:33:40 · answer #7 · answered by Ms. Wrinkle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're asking strangers on this site, I'd have to say 'no'. You need to be sure you want to do this.
2007-10-15 14:16:26 · answer #8 · answered by Crystal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you have to ask us on here, then,, the answer should be clear,,,, NO!!!........ that is a major decision that ONLY you will know the right answer to.
Best of luck.
2007-10-15 14:17:23 · answer #9 · answered by Michael H 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ASK GOD AND KEY IN YOUR EAR TO LISTEN TO HIS REPLIED THAT IS THE ONLY PERSON THAT KNOWS THE OUTCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-10-15 14:21:35 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs.Tricey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋