My husband driving license was taken because the police smelled weed in his car, so now he have a DUI and he cant drive, well i just start driving two years ago and I'm still not that good of a driver. He is mad at me because he have to pay his cousin 100 dollars a week to take him to work because i dont have any license and i told him I will go and get them but now i can't find my s.s card so it is going to take at less two more weeks for me to take him to work, well he is very mad and he took off his ring and said he is leaving me and a whole lot of mean words. I love him but he needs to grow up and if this is the way he want it than so be it. The truth is I love him and I want him to love me but I dont think it's going to work can any one give me some advice on this bull?
2007-10-15 13:58:46 · 32 answers · asked by I can't get right 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
praise him ... and get oral ;0)
2007-10-15 14:01:24 · answer #1 · answered by AK Queen 2 · 3⤊ 8⤋
Your husband lost his license because he was doing something that is illegal . If he has to pay someone to take him to work then he also brought that upon himself. Personally, It sounds like he hasn't learned to take on the most basic of adult responsibilities and he is looking to you because he once again doesn't want to take responsibility for his own actions. That is what being an adult is all about. So, you may be very right when you say that he needs to grow up and become an adult. He was aware that you didn't have a license before he got caught, so no you are not the one in the wrong here. The sad truth is "Life is tough, It's even tougher if you are stupid"
2007-10-15 14:25:53 · answer #2 · answered by Mama Mia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like he has a drinking problem. If that's the case there is very little you can do to change things. If he is going to blow up that badly at you for not being able to instantly correct a problem he created then he probably needs to take some anger management courses and get help for his problems. A marriage shouldn't end over something so small as having to pay for rides to work for a couple of weeks. If he's that fickle then the next time a problem comes up the same thing will happen, no matter how small the problem is. It sounds like he is not accepting responsibility for his own actions and is taking it out on you.
2007-10-15 14:12:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your husband is frustrated by some stupid choices made on his part. Sounds like he is just angry all the way around. I'm sure the Driver's License thing is not what is making him furiated. He is mad about something else and this situation is just adding feul to the fire. Is there some other things in your relationship that are not up to par to make him react this way?
He sounds like a very angry man, and I would try to see if he would agree to seek marriage counseling together. If he does not agree, than you know what your relationship is worth to him. He should want it to work just like you. If you have to bend over backwards and do flips just to make him love all of you for who you are, then it's not worth it.
On another note, as a woman, you should have your license. Get your paperwork, and get driving. Many more doors will open to you once you do. Promise! :)
I hope it works out between you two, but if it does not-let it go. Sometimes we woman hold on to man simply because we are scared to be alone. Sometimes some alone time is all any of us really need.
2007-10-15 14:08:43 · answer #4 · answered by _nicole_ 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
So your husband blames you for the DUI, and the consequences that resulted from that? Why? Did you smoke the weed in his car? Is that what the policeman smelled? If no, don't wear his temper. Or was it his joint they smelled? He must have had something in the car, they can't charge him for an "odor".
He is cheesed off with the results of his own actions, and that doesn't give him the right to take it out on you. If its costing him money, then that's just something he should put up with. After all its all because of something HE DID.
Let him cool off, and then let him know in no uncertain terms that if he wants to come home, he has to be prepared to control HIS temper.
2007-10-15 14:20:48 · answer #5 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Seems to me that he has no one to be mad at but himself. He's the one who was doing the illegal thing that made him lose his license, not you. I think that paying the $100 a week is just what he deserves.
I would tell him that he made his own problem and now he'll have to deal with it and that if he wants to be mad with you over it that that's his prerogative but you're still not going to clean up his mess. And then I would refuse to discuss it with him any further. If he wants to leave you over it then he is just an immature, selfish, criminal and you don't need him in your life anyway. (But I have a feeling he will change his tune pretty quickly, once he knows you're not going to take his crap anymore....then he might start kissing your butt!)
Your husband needs to grow up and you might be just the woman to help him do that.
2007-10-15 14:11:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off I must make a statement regarding this so called marriage, my opinion is that you nor your husband have no business being married, I feel from what Im reading that you married not only a little boy, but you married a boy who likes drugs, you put these two traits together and what you get is a punk! Now before you start thinking whats this witch talking about, take it from me, Ive seen enough of these types to know that they dont learn from their mistakes, I know, I was just like you, my heart said one thing but my brain said another, so my advise I,ll give you is to ask your hubby to go seek marriage therapy, If he agrees, then you have hope, if he doesnt, then my opinion about him will be true.
2007-10-15 14:28:09 · answer #7 · answered by penelope 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, it seems to me you already know the answer.
It is "bull" and there is no two ways about it.
HE gets busted and gets his license yanked and somehow it is YOUR fault because you don't have a license? No way.
Get out and get out now.
What will be the next thing that he blames you for? Or (god forbid) becomes violent over?
He is looking for an excuse to leave - show him the door.
This is an express-train to abuse, and you need to get off, because this is going NO where good.
2007-10-15 14:05:27 · answer #8 · answered by vic91106 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This whole situation is 100% HIS fault! He's blaming everyone else for his predicament but himself. If he wants to leave, let him, but I guarantee you he'll be back. Who in their right mind is going to take on the responsibility for a full grown, adult baby? Maybe you should get a big stroller and offer to push him to work in it. You'd be lucky to be rid of him, but he's not going anywhere. If he's crabbing about paying $100 a week to catch a ride with his cousin, wait until he finds out what a divorce costs!
2007-10-15 14:05:18 · answer #9 · answered by Emily Dew 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You shouldn't let him pile all of his crap onto you, as it was him who lost his license. So stand up for yourself in this area as its his fault he has to pay a cousin to take him to work. He is also using this excuse of you not driving as a way out of the marriage and to end it, which means he has been thinking about it for awhile now. I am sure you can find someone who will treat you much better than this fellow.
2007-10-15 14:14:56 · answer #10 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you want someone to love you who is good for you, who cares for you, and who is not still a child. The fact that he took his ring off and said he was leaving you should be good news for you because if he loved you he wouldn't have done that. He got himself in trouble by having weed and getting the DUI and he should be mature enough to accept the fact that he screwed up. Let him go and you will find someone better to love, and who will love you enough to worry about you and not blame you for his own mistakes.
2007-10-15 14:17:09 · answer #11 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋