My husband I and go back and forth as to when we want to start our family. We both really want to have children and would love to start now except, I'm in school right now and am unsure as to if I can juggle motherhood and finishing up school. (I have about 2 years left) I'm 28 and he's 31, so I'm a little worried about waiting too long incase there are fertility problems. Finacially we're doing alright...(it could always be better though, right?) but my husband make enough to support the both of us, put me through school, pay the bills and mortgage...etc. and still have a decent amount left. Anyway how do you know it's the right time? Financially we can afford a baby, but there's a lot more to it than being financially ready. How did you all know it was the right time...or is there ever a "right" time? Thanks!
2007-10-15 13:49:09 · 20 answers · asked by JenJen 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is no "right time." People have "accidents", and still in the end everything turns out ok. Maybe consider some prayer, and take time to think if you're ready to be responsible for someone else.
I think you are, or you would not be trying to reassure yourself.
Good Luck!!
2007-10-15 14:01:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
It's hard to decide on a specific "right time" When both of you are ready financially that is when most couples will start a family. The older you are the older your eggs are therefore not as good as they are currently. If you're still in school it'd be hard to balance both and if you're serious about finishing it then you should. In the end you'll have more money due to it.
There so much to think about, but you might not want to be the oldest parent during your childs graduation. You want to give your children the best years of your life too and I don't think early 30's are that late to be having children. Not a huge difference if you have a child now or 2 years since there are people who have children much later and are successful at it.
You and your husband should just think about it, the right answer will come to you. Best of luck!
2007-10-15 20:59:57 · answer #2 · answered by Cassiopeia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband knew it was time when I took our cute little dog for pictures with Santa....
I had been feeling the baby bug but was waiting until he felt it too. We had a baby the next October ....and 3 more sense. As far as money, being stable is important and it sounds like you are there. Ask yourselves if there is anything you'd really like to do before being tied down with a child. You should probably finish school. That would be harder after a baby. Do you want to get your career off to a start first? Do you want to travel? All of these things get harder when a baby comes along. It sounds like you are on the right path, don't worry about fertility issues (unless you've had past problems) just decide together and take the plunge when you both feel ready. Good luck :)
2007-10-15 21:27:26 · answer #3 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both want them now, then start now. Because you are right about the fertility issues. And just think, it takes the average couple 8 months to get pregnant with their first child, then the 9 months you will carry the child. At that point, you are practically done with school. My husband and I started 2 years ago and we still haven't been blessed and I am only 23.
If you wait for everything to be perfect and right to start a family. Then you will never start a family, because you will never be 100% ready for kids.
If you can afford them and you are mentally and physically ready, then go for it. Good luck!
2007-10-16 01:37:02 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Both of you are at good ages to start a family. I'm not sure anyone is ever 100% sure it's the right time, it's something the two of you must discuss wholeheartedly.
I'm 29 and my husband is 37. I don't want kids, never have, and was very up front about that from the moment we decided on marriage. He's fine with it and said he's happy either way. After 2 years of marriage it's working out well for us, but to each their own.
Do whatever is right for the both of you.
2007-10-15 21:08:01 · answer #5 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More and more women are having babies in their 40's now, first babies at that.
If you need to ask when the right time is then it is not the right time for you. Pregnancy should be a happy time of expectation, planning, having parties and getting ready. You can't do that and be a student studying at the same time.
And if the baby comes while you are still in school something is going to suffer - either school work or the attention your baby gets. Wait til you graduate and then start your family. Two years is not too long to wait.
2007-10-15 21:01:00 · answer #6 · answered by mn lady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are pretty close. You are in a mature stable relationship, where you BOTH agree that kids would be a welcome extension to that relationship, and you are financially able to care for the children. The only fly in the ointment is that you need to finish your schooling first.
Would you consider both getting a fertility check done now? That way you have a better idea of the chances of falling pregnant when you want to, and you can use that information, along with your partner, to decide if you would like to start sooner rather than later. If there is a problem there you might want to start earlier to give you two a bigger window to have those children you want.
2007-10-15 21:03:21 · answer #7 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are going through a similar situation. Both 30 and not sure if we are ready. When is anyone really ready??? I think you go with your gut. (I am afraid of fertility problems, rise in autism etc. )
We are going to keep going as we are now without kids and discuss it in the spring and go away on a vacation.
Each couple is different. we are confused about the idea of parenthood...and you are right there is never enough money!!!
I have heard you FEEL it when your body wants to have kids. I think my body started telling me to have kids recently. Now it is all about timing with work and summers off (I am a teacher.) I also have to get over my fears
2007-10-15 20:58:33 · answer #8 · answered by H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Juggling study and a newborn may be difficult depending on how organised you are and if you are doing or able to do distance education or able to defer for a semester or two.
28 is still quite young really for having children, so is 30, it's really up to when you feel ready as it is a huge life changing commitment and very time consuming.
2007-10-15 21:17:08 · answer #9 · answered by Kazbia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the right time when you have the time to raise them, nurture them, clean them, feed them, talk with them, help with homework, read to them, do their laundry etc. etc. etc.... Children are a not a full time job, they are an all the time job. When you're eating, working (if you must) sleeping, playing, and so on, they are still there in your head, they are still your responsibility and they will become your life (and I mean that in the most precious way possible.) If you don't have time right now, don't do it. Children are precious and deserve not to be "juggled". After all, if you mess up, it's not just "dropping the ball".
Good Luck
2007-10-15 20:59:58 · answer #10 · answered by Missy 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
When you are both ready and it sounds like your husband is not ready yet. You have lots of time. I did not have my first child until I was 35 years old and my husband was 40! Don't rush it. Enjoy your life, get things done, save money. Kids can wait!
2007-10-15 21:30:46 · answer #11 · answered by Dance 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋