Can we express our anger and remain intact?

Question

*T* I'm not sure what I was looking for when i asked this question. I think I was looking for positive outcomes of anger and whether it's really possible. Most of my expressions of anger are very destructive.

Answer 1

In psychology, we call something defence mechanism. This has to do with how we are able to shelter ourselve from thing that happen to use in order to maintain a balance.

You can express anger and remain intact and for your case, the best is sublimation. Sublimation is the process of transforming libido into ‘socially useful’ achievements, mainly art. Psychoanalysts often refer to sublimation as the only truly successful defence mechanism.

you can have a look at other defence mechanism below;


Compensation. Compensation occurs when someone takes up one behaviour because one cannot accomplish another behaviour.

Denial. Unconsciously refusing to perceive the more unpleasant aspects of external reality (feelings, events, or both), replacing it with a less threatening but inaccurate one.

Displacement. An unconscious defence mechanism, whereby the mind redirects emotion from a ‘dangerous’ object to a ‘safe’ object.

In psychoanalytic theory, displacement is a defence mechanism that shifts sexual or aggressive impulses to a more acceptable or less threatening target; redirecting emotion to a safer outlet;

Dissociation. Separation or postponement of a feeling that normally would accompany a situation or thought.

Escapism. A person uses fantasy, literature or other forms of culture to escape real-world problems or perhaps to deal with difficult emotional problems within the laws of a safe, but imaginary world. This can both be constructive and developing or limitting if the real problems are never faced.

Humour. Refocuses attention on the somewhat comical side of the situation as to relieve negative tension; similar to comic relief.

Idealization. Form of denial in which the object of attention is presented as "all good" masking true negative feelings towards the other.

Identification. The unconscious modeling of one's self upon another person's behavior.

Intellectualization (isolation). Concentrating on the intellectual components of the situations as to distance oneself from the anxiety provoking emotions associated with these situations;

Introjection. Identifying with some idea or object so deeply that it becomes a part of that person.

Inversion. Refocusing of aggression or emotions evoked from an external force onto one's self.

Isolation. separating feelings and thoughts that are connected

Minimizing. writing off problematic events of behaviors as being too minor to worry about.

Projection. Attributing to others, one’s own unacceptable or unwanted thoughts and/or emotions. Projection reduces anxiety in the way that it allows the expression of the impulse or desire without letting the ego recognize it;

Rationalization. The process of constructing a logical justification for a decision that was originally arrived at through a different mental process;

Reaction formation. The converting of unconscious wishes or impulses that are perceived to be dangerous into their opposites;

Regression. The reversion to an earlier stage of development in the face of unacceptable impulses;

Repression. The process of pulling thoughts into the unconscious and preventing painful or dangerous thoughts from entering consciousness. The painful feelings are initially conscious and then forgotten. They are stored in the unconscious and, under certain circumstances, can be retrieved. Repression can range from momentary memory lapses to complete amnesia of a catastrophic event, such as a murder or an earthquake.

Somatisation. Manifestation of emotional anxiety into physical symptoms.

Splitting. Repressing, dissociating or disconnecting important feelings that are "dangerous" to psychic well-being. Causes the person to get out of touch with her/his feelings; fragmented self. An example is Anna Nicole Smith's bizarre reaction to her son's death as she believed he was still alive.

Substitution. When a person replaces one feeling or emotion for another.

Sublimation. The refocusing of psychic energy (which Sigmund Freud believed was limited) away from negative outlets to more positive outlets. These drives which cannot find an outlet are rechannelled. In Freud’s classic theory, erotic energy is only allowed limited expression due to repression, and much of the remainder of a given group’s erotic energy is used to develop its culture and civilization. Freud considered this defence mechanism the most productive compared to the others that he identified.

Suppression. The conscious process of pushing thoughts into the preconscious.

Undoing. A person tries to 'undo' a negative or threatening thought by their actions.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defense_mechanisms

Answer 2

I have never been "un" intact.

You are assuming that anger is destructive. Which isn't true at all. Anger is not bad or dangerous. Repressed anger which eventually results in an explosion of violence is harmful. But anger is not a bad emotion. People need to find appropriate out lets and learn safe, appropriate ways for catharsis.

And NO kicking the cat / dog is NOT appropriate! Nor is slamming the door!! Or temper tantrums past the age of two!

Answer 3

Let me try to answer your question(s) part by part Question : the habit of keeping anger and rage buried deep within yourself many a times it helps us to be aggressive in our work and we start performing better without leaving any loopholes in our work. but does that feeling corrodes you from inside making you rough, crude and bitter. Answer : Burying the anger deep inside will not help to be aggressive always. After burying the anger, you should develop the habit of forgetting it. Otherwise it will affect your health. It will lead to low blood pleasure and other physical complication on a long run. I would rather suggest a different idea which is pro-active. try developing the habit of not getting angry. keep cool. PREVENTING IS BETTER THAN CURING. DON'T GET ANGRY AT ALL. THEN ANGER MANAGEMENT IS NOT NECESSARY AT ALL. For this you have change your attitude and mind reactivity. This is possible with yoga and other practices. Question : so whats the best part of it forget everything instantly or keep it inside you, feed it and make it stronger so that one day you can unleash. i know that second option will satisfy me more but still i have doubts about the ethics and morality of the topic. Answer : You are wrong again. Forget everything instantly. Accumulating the unleashing will lead to disaster. This is the reason for most of the juvenile killers. Again i want to tell u, Don't accumulate and unleash. The best thing is to season your mind not to get angry or keep the vengence at all. Question : what if one is not able to express his anger at the spot and is not in a position to react or retaliate. shouldnt he wait for his time and bid for his luck or should he forget what all has happened and remain as if nothing has happened which is sure to crush even the slightest ego and self repect one posesses. Answer : Ego is the culprit behing everything. It causes anger or insult feeling. sometimes, ego triggers killing instincts too. SO BEWARE OF EGO. DON'T ALLOW EGO TO INVADE you. If you avert ego, you will not get anger or revenge feeling too. CONCLUSION : I THINK YOU HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR TOTAL ATTITUDE TOWARDS ANGER/VENGENCE. DO MEDITATION OR YOGA AND CONTROL YOUR MIND. ATTACK THE ROOT i.e EGO.

Answer 4

As long as the anger is channelled in a positive direction and not used to create negativity and destruction.

Answer 5

Yes, if a person expresses anger in an appropriate way.

Answer 6

Of course.

Does an expression of anger HAVE to be destructive....?

[ It's interesting you ask from the position of 'We,' so I wonder about the roots of this ~ and the expectations behind the question!! ]

Sash.

Answer 7

ROF**LAUGHING at Helmut UK -

sorry Blue to cut accross you - but that's just made me *howl*

Added: I was going to say about righteous anger such as Jesus anger at ppl who treated His Fathers house with disrespect - ( with no regard for God ) i didn't b/c it's used as an example so often - but i noticed jimi4950 mentioned it.
I'm not sure if you mean express it to the person we're angry at or not - or am i missing something?

Answer 8

yes, i beleive so, but its a difficult thing to do.
however, with practise its possible to express anger and still be calm. and this technique of controlling oneself is important if you are to face such situations in your life frequently.
in general, knowing how to be AnGrY cAmLy is amazing and i find pretty impresive.

Answer 9

you can be angry and not totally lose it

staying in control but expressing how you feel about injustice done can be a good thing

Answer 10

Yes, Jesus did when he overturned tables and kicked people out of his fathers house, he was angry, just like me.