when does it become past !!!!!!!!!! when will it become eaiser!!!!!!?

Question

phew....... split with my wife almost 2years ago theres 2 children involved i didnt handle the split to well resulting in them moving away .,.........now although things are better and i see my children regular ...every time my eyes open in the morning i just find an instant reply of the time my wife told me she didnt love me no more its so fresh so raw as if it happened just yesterday but sadly as i say its almost 2years ago

Answer 1

u may need some grief counseling because it seems your stuck in the grief process. we all handle grief within our own time frame it has taken me about 4 years to finally accept and understand that the divorce was a blessing in disguise. but u do have a future if u want it, but u will have to start dating and meeting people and that will move u forward. accept that its over with and theres no going back, once u accept that moving forward doesn't seem so hard.

Answer 2

It becomes the past when your unconscious mind understands that your conscious mind has learned the lessons you need to learn in order never to repeat your mistakes again. You must examine, under the harsh light of honesty, exactly what your role was in the failure of the marriage. If you are blaming your ex completely, your unconscious mind is going to nag and nag at your, because it's not fair and it's not right. Like it or not, you did have some role -- either you chose to marry a woman incapable of commitment, or, more likely, you exhibited behaviors that, over the course of years, resulted in your wife not loving you anymore. Until you confront those things, and can consciously state the mistakes you made and how to prevent them in the future, you won't find peace.

Answer 3

It is not normal to have the pain so raw after 2 years. Counseling is adviced as you obviously can't let it go. You decide how much things will hurt you, it can be painful for 6 months, 6 years, or 60 years. But sometimes we cling to the pain because it is easier to use that as an excuse than to face ourselves and work on ourselves and make our lives better. If I am in charge of my life and I fail to be happy, then it' my fault, but I can always cling to past experiences and blame my ex or my parents or whomever for my failure at having a good life.

To answer your question, it gets better as soon as you decide you've had enough.

Answer 4

When negative thoughts enter your head, push them away with something pleasant and stay busy. The more we dwell on the past the harder it is. It is time to start dating again. Look at this time as starting new, fresh life. I know it isn't easy to do. Yes, I consider 2 years the past. Seek the help of a professional. You sound like you are in depression and there are cures for it. Good Luck.

Answer 5

Like a death the pain never really goes away but you do learn to live around it. It does come back just as fresh and raw as that first moment. I know my darling died nearly 2 years ago and it is almost like it just happened today. I miss him so I do not really see how I can go on, but I am determine to do so and you can too. God Bless us Both

Answer 6

Hi. I think it's great that you see your kids regularly as far too many men shunt their responsibilities,so it's nice to hear your not one of them.2 years is a long time! Do you have any social life? (out of work and seeing your kids!)I think you should try and get out there more,I'm not talking about pulling the 1st bird you see! Just go out with a mate or two and have a laugh,Love jumps up and bites you on the bum when you least expect it,and love will come your way again one day. U have to focus on other things,Hobie's?? Haze x

Answer 7

It might not seem it but trust me it does got easier, its harder when there are children involved but life must go on. Do you go out much with your friends? You are single go out and have some fun, join the gym find a hobby anything to keep your mind off her. Have you been to see your doctor maybe talking to a councilor mite help? They could even give you some ideas of what to do with your time

Answer 8

I feel for you, bro. It never becomes easier when she kidnaps the kids from you. You people giving answers for him to get over it and move on apparently have not fully read his question. His children are involved. If it was just his ex involved, I'd tell him the same thing. However, the kids are his blood, and she has robbed him of time with his kids that he can never get back. He should be pissed. Fight for your kids, bro.

Answer 9

I have soooo been there. I was divorced after a 28 year marriage. He too, told me he didn't love me anymore and the only reason he hung around was for the children. When in fact, he had found himself a girlfriend and was too much of a coward to just say so... He decided it was better to just blame me for everything... It took me years to stop blaming myself..I was devasted... I can promise you...it will get better..The very best way to get over a love is to find a new love. In the beginning it was hard and you will always try to compare them to the X. This is so wrong of us but we are all creatures of habit. It is hard to let go of anything...I know you can do it...I did...I found out in my case it was best for me to surround myself with lots of friends and family. Only when I was alone, was when I was so depressed. I don't know if you went thru the same stages as I did...First I was so hurt and heartbroken...2nd stage I was so mad and 3rd stage I was angry as hell and I've yet to get over it. Who the hell to they think they are to treat us like dirt...? I would not spit on this person. I wish you all the best but I know how hard it is. Just give it time. I divorced in 2003 and it has been 4 years. I have a wonderful man in my life and I thank God all of that other stuff happened to me. It really made me take a good look at my life. I have been told by my Mother that God wouldn't take nothing out of your life unless he plans on replacing it with something better..So...your better is yet to come and I promise you...it will!

Answer 10

Horses for courses. Everyone is different. Some can move on within a few years. Others take a lot longer. Just take every day as it comes and enjoy.